今年２００９のさいごのｐｏｓｔです。次は寅の年だよ！

Just a few minutes ago (here in Japan) the last day of this year began. It really is incredible how fast this year has passed... I mean, wasn't it just a few days ago that I sent the applications for the exchange year? This life of mine... It has compeletly changed during these 12 months that has passed by in a breeze.. Nothing's the same. I have 3 brothers (had 2 sisters and 3 other brothers before). My home town`s name is Chigasaki. I've already moved 4 times - Kawasaki, Nishi-yokohama & Kanazawa bunko (which is more than I've ever done before). Until I've (hopefully) found my final destination here in Chigasaki... (Somewhy though, I can't shake off the feeling that I'll propably have to move again =/). I've made friends with people from all over the world ex. Australia, Thailand, Korea, France, Brazil, Germany etc.. My boyfriend is a loveably admireable person, who has the determination to stick with me, even though I'm (pretty much of) a language cripple who has a lot of bad days and oversleaps all the time (came 30 minutes late for the Christmas date -.-... I'm blaming that on the clock that didn't ring though). The fact that he knows and can understand the limits of my Japanese language skills is something that you can't set a prize on... etoo... what I'm trying to say, is that it's easy to understand the things he says because he doesn't expect me to know everything and othervise just has an easily understandable way of speaking (no mumbling or super high speed- strangely shortened youths schlang words -.-") which makes him easy to be around (don't get tired as fast as you get around others when trying to understand them). Even though most of my friends nowdays mostly consists of English speaking people, I have some really good Japanese ones too^^ The most important persons in my life for the moment are: Oscar (Sweden), Amanda (Brazil) and Yuuki (Japan). These are the people that occupies my days with funny moments and hours of happiness <3 Without them I propably would've already comitted suicide or something xP By the way, I think I've became allergic towards cats... (which is a huge problem, because we have two of them here).. well, it could be a normal cold.. that makes the nose ich as hell and dries your lungs out =P My Christmas was both (Japanese -25th and normal- 24th) spent with Yuuki in Yokohama. We went to the sea world, saw the new movie "Avatar" in 3D (so good!) and just hung around in the shopping malls ^^. My new year's going to be totally different from a normal Japanese one, because of the parents and little brother, who're on a trip and returns the 1 of next year. So I'll be spending it with my 2 elder brothers. The house will apparently be filled with friends of the younger one (night schoolers). Which makes Yuuki afraid for me to get raped or something -.- They're all really nice though so they won't be doing such things - is what I assured that poor dude of ^^" Seriously, when people are talking about culture chocks, I've so far just had one big one, and that one's when I realized how perverted Japanese people are. This isn't even just the guys, but also the girls. The only thing you're afraid of while returning home at dark, is to become raped, not robbed or just beaten down, but sexually assaulted. Well, I'm going to leave that matter there. Here's a really good song by Flumpool that you definitly should check out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zyF9MwqZOE (a big plus, is that the singer is very cute ;D)... Not random at all xD
Today I had a really good day! =D Even though I felt like crap (because my hostmum got mad at me for asking if a friend could stay over at the house tonight - she'd already actually promised that it's okay the day before, but while being drunk, so she couldn't remember that fact, which made her think that I was incredibly rude. So she was just like "please stop, we're not at home so why are you asking that kind of things"). Met Yuuki in Fujisawa around 4 o'clock and the first thing he says when he sees me is "what's wrong? You look sad." Surprised me a bit cause` I was smiling at him @.@ No, I did not spill my crap on him. We went to karaoke and after that did some window shopping - all the time I felt like there was some positive energizing drug being pumped into my veins, so I forgot all about my always so drunk mum^^ When it was time to ride the bike home, I was so dying.. I bet that's a typhoon that is blowing outside right now ~.~ Because of the typhoon thingy the ride took around 25 minutes (usually 15 - when trying to be fast). Oh... I think I've got a fever... Yabai...
The first day of year 2010(!) we're (Yuuki & me) going to the jinjya... anoo... tempel! In kamakura, to pray for the coming year (at least some Japanese traditional culture experiences!! Don't get a lot of them nowdays anymore). I'm already looking forvards to the call that mum promised to make at New Years Eve! I feel at ease while talking to her every once in a while. And I've got so much to tell her too! Actually I don't... but anyways =P are.. Already 1h27min has passed since I began writing this post =o Why does the time pass by so fast in this (already) 4 months old Japanese life of mine? Why can't the good moments stay forever and the bad ones never even exist? That'd be a dream ne~ -End- of the last post, of the (propably) most happeningfull year in my entire life. テレサ

タイトル無

Geeh* I'm so incredibly bored, that I decided to at least start on a post now. We have a test week in school now, so I'm off for two days. Today I haven't done anything elese than slept to around half past one and eaten. When there comes up a sudden holiday or day of that I haven't made any plans for... I really don't know what to do... Luckily tomorrow I at least have plans for the afternoon (when Yuu`s school ends). There's a guy on my bus stop who's from the same school as Yuu (it's a private all boys school, so they have strict uniform rules- the only reason why I know). Oh yeah, I'm not going by bus anymore. I started walking to the station instead... Takes bout` an hour... But it's 7000 yen cheaper and I don't mind moving a bit every once in a while (haven't done that after the move from Kawasaki - where I walked 30 min to the station). So it's about time ne~.
A while ago with Amabi I bought a pair of slim fit jeans for the first time in my life. They're nice (have them on right now), though they've became a bit loose around the hips. Need to buy a belt... But I don't have money for anything anymore ~.~ The phone bill needs to be paid, hygien articles, winter clothes, christmas presents... Everything needs to be bought within the beginning of this new month >.<>.<
I still don't know what to put as the title of this post... My mind doesn't work anymore ~~
7 Pupils from my class has the 新型 influenza (aka. swine flue) and 8 others have cought a bad cold, the homeroom is so empty... We only have 20 students left. Where from most of them are boys. Nowdays I usually spend my time with Kami sama (Kami様 - God) and Amabi (Megumi様 - God of venus) xD I'm apparently the Ohime sama - Sun God (&Tepupu). We have some more, but I'm not going in deeper on this subject. I don't know why but I just don't feel like hanging out with most of the others. Yayayaaa... What else would be proper enough to fit an internet blog... There aren't so much of those things... xP I've been thinking of getting some type of self-defence thingy (heard that they sell those "especially made for girs" thingys) because the fact that there are a lot of sick (in the head) and perverted people here is pretty shocking... It's not just like "normal" lot but "extremely" many... This is qite frightening... It doesn't help a bit that our school uniform skirts are so short... or that we have to wear skirts at all... You can't ride a train without at least seeing one old dude staring at a younger female in a strange way. Usually you can't ride a train without having someone staring at you in a strange way too -.-" And the news about young girls beeing murdered, chopped into small peaces and spread all around the mountains... こわいよ <:'( This subject wasn't nice at all... Makes you kind of face the truth too roughly... CHANGE!! My host mum is preparing dinner right now... The smell is nice, she's good at cooking. Mheee* I can't get the thought of those pervs out of my head now >.< やっぱり I'll end the post here. Bye~

a road back home.

Yeah... Full fart framat med blicken i backspegeln...
Geeeh*... What should i write... Right now I feel so tired and messed up xP On sunday we had our woulenter work. Which turned out to be a session on sitting for 5 hours with 1 five minutes break -.-" Well, it doesn't matter. I met Yuu-chan after it. So that kind of saved my day ^^... I think that I'm really falling for him... Before it was just this... Affection to a person that I felt... But now I think that I'm really starting to like him in that special way... Maybe it's just my imagination. Anyways, I had so much fun with him on Sunday! First we went to a game center where from we went to karaoke... I seriously can't even try singing alone o(_ _)o My hands starts shaking too much... Thank God Yuu-chan chose songs we both could sing together ^^ It was nice. There is this one song that I really love. Its` name is 3月9日by レミオロメン (remioromen... lemiolomen?, never know with the kanas). He always sings it... =3 Now that we have came into the subject Yuu-chan, maybe I should just tell everything about him. The first time that I ever met him was on our schools bunkasai, where Inka brought him. He is 18 years old and goes to a buddish all boys school in Fujisawa (though, he's an atheist like me). Eeh... what more... He loves cats and One piece`s Chopper... Wants to become a teacher in the future (of the English subject). He`s English is really good. But still we always speak in Japanese for some reason... Gehehee... Once when we were a bigger group of people going to a park, Amabi (Brasil) and I were walking a bit behind of Yuu-chan... Amabi thinks that he's like a girl, so she told me that. Even though I was like "ssh! He can hear you!", she just giggled and said that even though he'd do that, he wouldn't understand anything -.-" I don't remember how but the subject came up... and Yuu-chan told me about that... I THOUGHT THAT I'D DIE... For Gods sake... The only thing I could think was "fuck fuck fuck..." (and a lot more bad words). When I told Amabi about this... She laughed her ass of! o(_　_)o Not fun at all -.-"
So great, the text up until now... I began writing it on Monday. I've just simply been too lazy to finish this post... But I'll try to manage it now... It's Friday evening and all so... =P
No I'll just end it here. ~

Full fart fram

I'm back again! And guess what, I don't have that much time now either -.- there's always something to do and somewhere to be ~.~ Today I'm going to meet up with Yuuki in Fujisawa <3 Where we're going to karaoke and maybe a cat cafe! He's also promised to help me out with a Japanese speech that I have to write ^^ Think I'll compeletly leave that matter to him xP On Sunday there's "voulenter" work again ~~ It's the kind of work that you have to do if you don't want to get kicked out of the school... (as an exchange student)しなければならないね. Yeeah... I actually don't have that much to tell... Life is going on as normal here... It's turning cold (only 8 degrees anymore), there's Chrismas lights and thingys everywhere. Though it doesn't feel as Christmas at all... Must be the lack of snow =o ...　Ｎｏｗ　Ｉ　ｐｕｓｈｅｄ　ａ　ｂｕｔｔｏｎ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｅｗｂｏａｒｄ　ｗｈｉｃｈ　ｍａｋｅｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｔｅｘｔ　ｃｏｍｐｅｌｅｔｌｙ　ｍｅｓｓｅｄ　ｕｐ．．．　ｓｏ　Ｉ　ｇｕｅｓｓ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ’ｌｌ　ｅｎｄ　ｔｈｉｓ　　ｓｈｏｒｔ　ｐｏｓｔ　ｈｅｒｅ．さようなら～

Ｎｅｗ ｂｅｇｉｎｎｉｎｇ ～ Ｎｅｗ ｆｅｅｌｉｎｇｓ

Ｓｏ　Ｉ　ｎｅｖｅｒ　ｃａｍｅ　ｂａｃｋ　ｔｏ　ｗｒｉｔｅ　ｍｏｒｅ．Ｒｉｇｈｔ　ｎｏｗ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｋｅｗｂｏａｒｄ　ｉｓ　ａ　ｂｉｔ　ｆｕｃｋｅｄ　ｕｐ　ｓｏ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｔｅｘｔ　ｗｉｌｌ　ｐｒｏｐａｂｌｙ　ｂｅ　ｈｕｇｅ　－．－
Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ　ｓｔａｒｔｅｄ　ａ　（ａｌｍｏｓｔ）　ｃｏｍｐｅｌｅｔｌｙ　ｎｅｗ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｎｏｗ．　Ｉ　ｍｏｖｅｄ　ｔｈｅ　２４：ｔｈ　ｏｆ　ｌａｓｔ　ｍｏｎｔｈ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｎｅｗ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ　ｏｆ　ｍｉｎｅ，　ｔｈａｔ　ｌｉｖｅｓ　ｉｎ　Ｃｈｉｇａｓａｋｉ　（ｏｎｌｙ　ｏｎｅ　ｈｏｕｒ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｃｈｏｏｌ！！）．　Ｉ　ｈａｖｅ：　３．．．ｏｒ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　４　ｂｒｏｔｈｅｒｓ　（１ｈａｌｆｂｒｏｔｈｅｒ－ｄｏｅｓｎ‘ｔ　ｌｉｖｅ　ａｔ　ｈｏｍｅ）．　Ｎａｍｅ　＆　ａｇｅ：　Ｔａｉｓｅｉ　６　ｙｒｓ．　Ｒｙｏｔａ　１７　ｙｒｓ．　Ｒｙｏｔａ　（ｈａｌｆｂｒｏｔｈｅｒ）　２０　ｙｒｓ．Ｙｕｕｋｉ　２２　ｙｒｓ．Ｍｏｔｈｅｒ　ａｎｄ　Ｆａｔｈｅｒ：　Ｙａｓｕｋｏ　＆　Ｔａｉｊｉ．Ｐｅｔｓ：　２　ｄｏｇｓ　－　Ｍｅｉ＆Ｍｏｍｏ　２　ｃａｔｓ：　Ｋｏｉ＆Ｌｅｏ　ｆｉｓｈｅｓ　ａｎｄ．．．　ｓｅｎｔｉ　ｔｈｉｎｇｙｓ　（ｂｕｇｓ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｏｏ　ｍａｎｙ　ｌｅｇｓ）．　Ｉ　ａｂｓｏｌｕｔｌｅ　ｌｏｖｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ．Ｉ　ｓｐｅａｋ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｍｙ　ｄａｄ　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｄａｙ　（Ｉ　ｄｉｄ　ｉｔ　ｏｎｃｅ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　Ｋａｗａｓａｋｉ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ　～．～）．　Ｔｈｅｙ　ｏｎｌｙ　ｓｐｅａｋ　ｉｎ　Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　ｔｏ　ｍｅ　＝Ｄ　Ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ　Ｉ　ａｃｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｃａｎ　ｕｎｄｅｒｓｔａｎｄ　ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｓａｙ　＾＾”　Ｍｙ　ｂｒｏｔｈｅｒｓ　ａｒｅ　ａｌｌ　ｓｏ　ｎｉｃｅ　ａｎｄ　ｌｏｖｅａｂｌｅ！　（ａｌｗａｙｓ　ｈｅｌｐｉｎｇ　ｍｅ　ｏｕｔ　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｋａｎｊｉｓ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｍａｉｌｓ）．．　Ａｎｄ　Ｉ‘ｍ　ｔｒｅａｔｅｄ　ｌｉｋｅ　ａ　ｒｅａｌ　ｆａｍｉｌｙ　ｍｅｍｂｅｒ　ｈｅｒｅ．．　Ｉ　ｃａｎ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｇｏ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅ　ｒｅｆｉｒｉｇａｔｏｒ　ａｎｄ　ｇｅｔ　ｆｏｏｄ　ｂｙ　ｍｙｓｅｌｆ　ｉｆ　Ｉ‘ｍ　ｈｕｎｇｒｙ！　Ｉ　ｄｏｎ‘ｔ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｈａｔ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｎｏｗ　ｃａｕｓｅ　Ｉ‘ｍ　ｇｏｉｎｇ　ｔｏ　ｍｅｅｔ　ｕｐ　ｗｉｔｈ　Ｉｎｋａ　（ａｎ　ｅｘｃｈａｎｇｉｅ　ｆｒｏｍ　Ｆｉｎｌａｎｄ）　ｉｎ　Ｆｕｊｉｓａｗａ　１０　ｏ‘ｃｌｏｃｋ　（ｄｏｎ‘ｔ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｗｅｅｋｅｎｄ　ｂｕｓ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔａｂｌｅｓ，　ｓｏ　ｈａｖｅ　ｔｏ　ｄｏ　ｓｏｍｅ　ｒｅｓｅａｒｃｈｉｎｇ）．　Ｒｅｍｅｍｂｅｒ　ｔｈｅ　１８　ｙｒｓ　ｏｌｄ　ｑｕｉｅｔ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄ　Ｉ　ｔｏｌｄ　ｙｏｕ　ｅａｒｌｉｅｒ　ａｂｏｕｔ？　Ｗｅｌｌ，　ｎｏｗｄａｙｓ　ｈｅ‘ｓ　ｍｙ　ｂｏｙｆｒｉｅｎｄ　ｘＰ　Ｉ　ｇａｖｅ　ｕｐ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｏｎｅ　ｉｎ　ｍｙ　ｓｃｈｏｏｌ　ａ　ｌｏｎｇ　ｔｉｍｅ　ａｇｏ　（ｓｔａｒｔｅｄ　ｔｏ　ｐｉｓｓ　ｍｅ　ｏｆｆ　～．～）．．．　Ｍｙ　ｃｕｒｒｅｎｔ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｓｔａｔｅ　ｉｓ：　Ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｈａｐｐｙ．　Ａｒｏｕｎｄ　５ｋｇ　ｌｉｇｈｔｅｒ　ｆｒｏｍ　ｗｈｅｎ　Ｉ　ｃａｍｅ　ｈｅｒｅ　（ｄｏｎ‘ｔ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈａｔ　ｆｏｒ　ｓｕｒｅ，　ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　ｓｃａｌｅｓ　ａｒｅ　ｄｉｆｆｉｃｕｌｔ　ｔｏ　ｕｓｅ）　ａｎｄ　ｃｏｍｆｔｏｒａｂｌｅ．　Ｍａｙｂｅ　ｔｈｉｓ　ｌｉｆｅ　ｈｅｒｅ　ａｃｔｕａｌｌｙ　ｓｕｉｔｓ　ｍｅ．．．　Ｉ　ｍｉｓｓ　ｍｙ　ｆｒｉｅｎｄｓ　ｉｎ　Ｓｗｅｄｅｎ　ｔｈｏｕｇｈ．．．　（ｗａｎｔ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｔｏ　ｃｏｍｅ　ｈｅｒｅ）．　Ｙｅｓ．．　ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｐｒｅｔｔｙ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｉｎｄ　ｏｆ　ａ　ｄｒｅａｍ　ｔｈａｔ　Ｉ　ｈａｄ　ｉｍａｇｉｎｅｄ　ｉｔ　ｔｏ　ｂｅ　＾＾　Ｔｈｏｕｇｈ．．．　Ｉ　ｄｉｄｎ‘ｔ　ｋｎｏｗ　ｔｈａｔ　ｔｈｅ　Ｊａｐａｎｅｓｅ　ｇｕｙｓ　ａｒｅ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｐｅｒｖｅｒｔｅｄ　ｘＰ　ｗｅｌｌ．．．　ｔｈａｔ　ｉｓｎ‘ｔ　ｓｏ　ｈｏｒｒｉｂｌｅ．．　Ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ　ｙｏｕ　ｃａｎ　ｌｉｖｅ　ｗｉｔｈ　＝Ｐ　Ｎｏｗ　Ｉ‘ｌｌ　ｓｔａｒｔ　ｍｙ　ｂｕｓ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔａｂｌｅ　ｒｅｓｅａｒｃｈ．　ｂｙｅｂｙｅ～

Shortcuts in lifetime.

Helloooo Minnasama.

I'm back xP

It's been a while since last time... 2 months? Yeah, well, that's the time which I haven't been able to be on a computer, on. So I've been here in Japan for a little more than 2 months now. There's happened so much that I even can't remember half of it... So I guess that I'll just try to make a short summary of that time... Okay.

The first three weeks was spent at a language school in Tokyo. On the first day in Japan I received my host family, which consists of 5 people (that time 6 though) . 3 children = 2 girls, age 8 & 7. 1 boy, age 5. Mother 32 and father 30. 2 dogs and a big aquarium. The 6.th person was a German girl. Came to Japan the same time as me (she moved out after a month). This familys' house is located in the West (?) part of Kawasaki. So, that's where I've been living up until now.

The far most strangest/scariest/funniest experiences so far here are: When a transvestite (old man with a blonde wig, tights, skirt and makeup) began reading Hamlet (?) in English, out loud in the train when he saw me... This was scary... he didn't even look like a woman =.= a total failure -.-" Luckily I only had to ride it for about 5 minutes... Second one... ah! Becoming friends with the owner of an Latino-club (in Roppongi)... The strange part in this was that even though he knew my age, he promised that me and my friends could come there for free, anytime xD Yuh... Oh! and I just have to include this! Japanese people get drunk so fast! xD Seriously. a pretty quiet friend of mine (18yrs), drank about 4 cm (dunno' how much that's in ml) from a normal sized glass (25% alcohol, blended with something (?))... After that he was compeletly wasted xD He talked so much! And the best of all was that he smiled and wasn't tired at all for the first time x'D Hmm... Things that I've eaten so far ex. Inside of an cows stomach, jellyfish, ice cream in a bag thingy, kakigori (ice thingy), mocchi, sweet beans etc. Every single one of these experiences was sort of unique... But all of them are yummy except from jellyfish and the cows stomach. ^^

My school is called "the rusty kingdom" by all of the exchange students... that's because, that is exactly what it is. But I love it... We have school uniforms. A navy blue skirt, black knee high socks and a white shirt... Oh! can't forget the ugliest shoes that I've ever seen and even worse, have to wear! Green Uwabaki... jurusanai... But they're only for indoor use =)

My class is 105 (ichi maru go) and my classmates are all really nice... Though they think that I even don't know the colors in Japanese -.-" I've joined the tea club in school, it's interesting... I love rooms with tatami mats =3 The smell is so good... We have this teacher that almost everyone hates because he's mean on purpose (that's why I just can't bring myself to hate him =P) he told me that I'd better watch out not to eat too many snacks (in the tea ceremony there's always snacks) or else I would get fat, and then he sucked air into his mouth and made the cheeks go all round. But because my cheeks already are as round as they are, I just replied "Dakara" with a smile (that's why) and patted my cheeks. His face was so nice that time! It was written all over it like "why is she smiling!? Why doesn't she look unhappy and sad!?? I just called her fat!!" He's nice. yet, I've so far only managed to make real friends with Japanese guys, the girls are almost completely impossible to get close to, unless you can talk the language fluently. But i think that I'll manage in the end... :D Ganbarimasu yo!!

Hmm... Haven't got a boyfriend yet. But I have a guy that I like in the same school... Though he's a third year student which means that he's out of my range... IS what I'd usually say! if he wasn't a friend of mine xD wahaha! I'm so good! No... sorry for that.. Right now I'm sick. (have the influenza) so my mind is a bit corrupted =P Okay. So let's go to the present life here. I've been sick since Monday. From Tuesday to Friday I had to stay in an hotel (because of my A Gata influenza). As highest my body temperature (fever) was up to 39 C degrees and as lowest to 35 C degrees. I've just recently started eating again. Which means that I've lost about 2 kg of weight during that time. But now I'm completely healthy again! Still going on drugs (medication) but healthy =) I'm temporary living in Kanazawa bunko, in another host family (my real one has gone for a trip). I wouldn't mind staying here for the rest of the exchange year though xP The mum (only member of family) is so nice! and she only speaks in Japanese! I've already learned so much from her!... And this is close to school... Oh yeah! I forgot to tell you. My average day here starts at 4.50, when I wake up and get ready for school. 6.00 I'm out of the house, walking towards the closest station (30min) after that I ride 4 different trains for about an hour and an half to get to the school that starts 8.40. Still, I like it... The trains are nice... yeah. I think that I'll end the post here. But I'll probably come back later. Bye"*

Full moon.

There's a full moon outside right now... It's so beautiful. And just to complete the mood, I've began watching a drama called "Vampire boy". So far it seems good... An asocial, handsome guy who can play the piano as the main character, isn't too bad. Yesterday I managed to cut my finger, while trying to open a jar of tinned white beans in tomato sauce... It kind of hurts now...
Two days from now, I'll (hopefully) be in Japan... Landed just a moment ago... On my way to the Japanese language school, to the brief meeting and after that the real adventure begins... Substitute host family´s, long beaches and loads and loads of new people (who hopefully will like you).
Have you ever heard the saying "There are three people in the world who look like yourself"... This actually is a fact and not just a saying... I wonder who the three other persons that look like me, are? Where do they live? What's their names?... Are they happy? *saa...*
I've never before wanted to stay home this badly... Nor have I ever felt this kind of urge to leave... Strange, huh... Scared for the unknown, but yet longing for it.
I've lost around 2 kg of weight in a week, not too bad, huh..? Just (at least) 7 more to go and I'll be satisfied.
The article in NSD didn't turn out to be so bad. Even though I looked like a dai-hana freak in the picture... and the other reporter seemed kind of pissed at me...(?) Well, not everyone can be satisfied. No matter what you do, that'll never, ever, happen. Good Bye~

Butterflies flying.

*Just noticed* I haven't blogged in a while (again). The family trip went well. Even though I hated pretty much, every single moment of it. Luckily we're back home again and even though the time is crawling by, it's only 3 days until the departure date :) On Thursday I'm going to stay over at my dad´s workplace in the "hospital city". It's a "factory camp" where he lives from Monday to Friday every week. Then early, on Friday morning, I'll be flying far, far away from this present life of mine... I don't know whether to be happy or sad...? I'll leave my friends and family behind for almost a whole year. But still, I'm heading towards a compeletly new start, a new life... A life that I can make to whatever I want to... This is where the real battle begins... Is what Shinonome Mei´s Grandfather told her. Kind of fits into this situation of mine. ^^'' I've had the two interviews now. Hopefully I won't look too stupid on the pictures (as I usually do). All of the packing are finished and I'll get my visa along with my passport on Arlanda. Everything seems to be working out quite well... But still it feels as if there's going to be something blocking my way to acieving my dreams... Maybe just self conciousness? Whatever I do, things tend to turn out wrong. So, it's pointless to get your hopes up on anything. The feeling of dissapointment... it hurts too much. That's a thing that I've learned a fairly long time ago. I've spent this day with Jonna-chan. It was somewhat calming to have her around... (?) Wonder why :) That's a friend to be cherished. I wonder... Ima wa minasan ni nani o shitemasu ka... (propably not even right -.-). The first 3 weeks will be spent with people called a "Welcoming family" in other words, a substitute family in Tokyo. Well, for the time being, I haven't recieved any information concerning the family... I'm pretty sure that no one wants me xP. Who would? A complete stranger living at their place, and on top of that, a stranger who doesn't speak the language -.-'' ... One of the reporters asked me what kind of expectations I had for the coming year... That's when I realized that all of the earlier images and stuff in my head was gone. I have no longer any kind of special thoughts of what'll be awaiting me in the future... Just the one and only thing that I'm sincerely hoping for: That I'll become fluent in the language. Everything else makes no difference. ^^ Though, I'd love to make a bunch of new friends and have the time of my life. =3 Yeah. I'll propably update you later if I'd happene to recieve any kind of information. Oyasumi~

Shinjinai.-.-.

I'm sad... I've been halfly depressed for the whole day, but now I'm just plainly sad... The day passed like a light breeze... I'm alone, that's what I've been for the whole day too. Everybody left arond 10 am. It's just me and the dog Rasmus... I came to think of the death of Timi and Tomi... Two bunnys that I used to have in junior high... Without any reason they just died... That image of them laying in the cage, is still clear as a painting inside of my head... Geh... Now I feel sick :P Think I'll go and grab something to eat ^^ On Tuesday well be on the ferry :3 So I think that this'll be one of the last posts of this month. Oh.. By the way, yesterday I got a call from a man who works at a newspaper called Haparanda bladet... Why can't they just let it be -.-''
I'm off!~

Okashiiiii

That was pretty strange -.- I checked my e-mail some minutes ago. There was a mail from a reporter of the newspaper NSD. Apparently she wants to do an interview on me because of the exchange thingy... Sounds like something that I've heard before... At a hamburger-bar down town... *ah* It's nothing... Just getting some flash-back´s... :P So, anyways. I thought that I'd give her a call tomorrow. It's too late for it right now.
Mum´ kept her promise :3 We went to the mall and I got a new, incredibly cute (!), pale blue dress. ^^ OH! I almost forgot! The day for my departure has changed, again. It'll be the 7:th of August. I hope that this is the last change...
Yuh... My feet are somwhat sore. I was smart enough to put on my sandals, instead of the comfy´sneakers... I'm no good with high heels :/
hmm... come to think of it... I propably won't see any of my friends anymore... :( On Thursday, I'll be leaving off to Tammerfors, where I'll find myself laying around for the rest of the week... Then we'll take a ferry to Stockholm and spend the rest of our time in Norrköping... 2 of August is when we'll come back home... The rest of the time... I propably will spend it in this room of mine... Filling boxes... and emptying the space. Wonder what'll happene to this messy hole, after I leave...? Hopefully mum´will take the chance and make it into a "book room" ^^ After all that's what she's always wanted to do. :)
But, now I'm leaving! Have to do some chores ^^ Baibai~

Haaaaiii*

Duh* So tired... Z.Z It's finally over! My (late) birthday party! It's FINALLY OVER! *haa*... Being around people really makes me tired xP. Hmm... I've been thinking about getting myself into "beach shape" which simply put means "loose a little *cough* weight" ^^ I wanna´be able to look nice in the "Japanese Hawaii" where I'm (propably) going to live in a month or so. :)
Tomorrow I'll call the company and harrash them with tons of annoying questions, which propably will make them all hate me :P Demo... Who cares? Mum´also promised that tomorrow we'll go down town... But *saa*, maybe she won't keep that promise either. Dunno´if I've already told you this, but a month ago I started on a new candy vow, as she promised to give me something preshious in return. But apparently she isn't going to give me anything. Yet again! *Don't expect too much from other people! You're the only one who'll be able to live up to those expectations*. Next one! Today, a total of... 29 people (I think) came, and around 17 of them were children under the age of 10 -.-'' Well... actually, it was pretty fun.. :3 I got the amount of money that I need for a "movie camera" (?) or is it a "recording camera...? and a little more:P. :D Now I'm off to count some incomes! ja mata~

Irairasaseru! >:(

I'm going nuts! And that's compeletly because of the freaking exchange company >:C Apparently, we're going to Japan the 31:th of July now. Pisses me off! Why is it so fu*king difficult to book the flight tickets for the right day!? And why can't the people in charge take responsibility? I mean, it's not our fault that the camp was moved to the 7:th, right?! So, why is it us who has to "suffer" because of their mistakes? Iradatashii... -.-¤ We don't even know where we'll be staying for that time, nor what we'll be doing >:( Well, shit happenes. You've just gotta´find a way to deal with it ^^ End of subject! :D
I've been baking cakes and cleaning for the whole day. Tomorrow we'll have my (little late) birthday party with the relatives. Not so much fun... Or wait! Brother will come! :D Lucky! It's going to be great! :3 My week is saved!... Oh... I didn't even realize how much I miss him... :P
... That's all. Now I'll watch some dramas, study and do some drooling xP Ja na~

ERROR

Oh, God. The computer is having a total brakedown! I tried to post earlier, but everything just suddenly dissapeared :< Well... It wasn't anything important... Just that the date for entering Japan has been changed :( With a week... Now I'll leave the 7:th of August... Which means that I'll have to use three airplanes to come to Japan... : / The first one's from Kallax to Arlanda. The second one's from Arlanda to London (where we'll meet the other scandinavian students :D) and the third one's (finally) from London to Narita! :D ... Well... It isn't that different from the trip to Germany I guess... ^^ Okay... We only flew twice... And neither one of those two times was for longer than... 3 hours (?)... ^^''
Hmm... Oh yeah! :D I think that I've found another student who's going to the same school in Japan, as I am! :D She's Norwegian and as old as I am (I think). Besides of that, she really seems like a great person! :3 Hopefully we'll become good friends! Yeah... once again I'm thinking ahead of myself... ^^'' Okay. Let's leave that matter for now on :)
Lately I've been addicted to YouTube :3

My top 5 most listened songs / watched music videos are:

1. Dir en grey - The Final.
2. Haruma Miura - Konjou Nashi.
3. Dir en grey - Kodou.
4. Kalafina - Oblivious.
5. NEWS - Weeek.

Most watched Dramas / Movies:

1. Tatta hitotsu no koi.
2. Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge.
3. Yukan Club.
4. Maou.
5. Gokusen. (still can't find the movie :'C).

Yupp... Maybe I should practise building sentences now... Or go to sleep?.... I wonder which one I should choose... Maybe.. bed... Yup... ~Good Night!~

Lonlienss, Grammar and Pain.

Yes... That's how it is... Once again I'm sitting here wide awake in the middle of the night... Chewing on small apricots with a gross taste... I haven't got anything special on my mind tonight... My day has been pretty boring, I've been fighting with my mother.. the whole time... The reason for this is simple and boring: her live-in maid (aka. me) isn't up for cleaning right now, because she wants to study, which she hasn't had the time to do earlier, due to her younger sister to whom she has to watch over. Hmm... I finally made up some plans with my friend for Wednesday :3 We're going to meet in the town and just hang around, enjoying our pitiful lifes (at least mine is XP). Whee... Today I was left alone home... finally all by myself ^^ This is when I realized the reason for my tardness. It's because I'm used to be alone... With no one else than Davin, around. Having people around me all the time drains all of my energy ^^'' So, during these four short hours, I could notise how much happier I became... I even sang... (That's pretty rare nowdays)... Because there was no one there who would've been ordering me around all of the time (or telling me to shut my mouth :P) ^^ Refreshing! :3 *haaa...* Atchatta!.. I've finished my apricots :P Now I'll just move on to the tea! -^^- Bye~

Feel the pressure, taste the blame.

Hmmm... I'm bored... My chat pal went down town, so I don't have anyone to write with... Brother just told mum´about the succsess (Yá know, Liu.)... I've never seen her so proud in my entire life... Not when I got accepted into the most difficult policy in all of Sweden.. neither when I showed her my grades... o(_ _)o She didn't look happy at all.. -.- In the end... hard work doesn't pay off I guess... Well... at least I did my best ^^... And can almost, be proud of myself ^^ But it was that freaking technological grade that made me fail... -_- Just a VG... Yeah... I've never been good at technology anyways :P And it's like that, no matter how hard I work, I'll never reach to the same level as my brother.. I mean, a Biomedical sciencist, who'd be able to beat that!? No matter how much better grades than him I get... Nor how much more successfull I become :P He's the first born child and that's how it's always going to be -^.^- Though, as long as I'll manage to build an own little empire around myself, nothing of those things above matters : ) An own life... Hell yeah! :3 *Facing the future with bright eyes and clear visions* ~

15 hours of sleep.

Yup... I was going to write later on to the evening of my bithday... But the thing was, that I'd stayed up all night chatting with an old classmate of mine (who couldn't sleep either.) And I fell asleep right away when we came back home (6 o'clock PM... after that I slept for 15 hours :P)
To chat with him was fun and I didn't feel tired at all so after six hours of chatting it was finally time to leave for the hospital... If I remember right... I sort of promised to make him pass the Swedish language... ^^'' That'll say... Make his summer home work :D *Cough* Well this is just because I'm so freaking bored with how things are right now... and I don't want to study Japanese all the time... :P So I figured that I could do something fun... Also, his dreams won't be smashed... Just because he's not that freaking smart XP Well.. anyways, if he passes the Sv then he'll be able to go to an upper secondary school ^^ Nop, I'm not naive and no, he isn't using me :P... I just want to have something more out of my life... Ya´know... Do something that really matters to someone... End of topic!
23:th of July, will be the day that I'll leave Sweden... just to find myself coming back the 27:th :P And after that I'll finally leave for good! : ) I've started watching a new serie called Maou (literally "Devil")... Mai-chan said that she liked it, so I decided to try it out... And after watching one third of the first episode, I totally understand why she likes it.. Of corse because, the person in the leading role is... no one less than our own Ohno Satoshii!! ^^ He's so KAKKOI!<3 (and also from Mai´s favourite band "Arashii" ^^.) She's like my insider in Japan XD And guess what she just told me!!! They're apparently making a Gokusen MOVIE!! :D :D :D :D !!! YATTAAAAA!! Best serie that I've ever seen :3 But now I'm off to study some Japanese grammars ^^, Paaaa... Chotto! I almost forgot to tell you! My brother passed the exams for the "Liu" university in Lindöping (I'm sooo proud!), and he'll move there in the beginning of August XP... I feel a bit sorry for mum´, because she's going to (sort of) lose her favourite child at the same time as she (sort of) loses the child she finds most difficult :P (The one she dislikes).. Poor her.. and also, brothers best friends house burned down yesterday... She lost everything but her cat :/ That's all. Paipai ~

Otanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu!... dare ka?

The ninth of July... Today, exactly sixteen years has passed since the day that I was born... When I look back now... I only come across memories filled with pain, lonliness and hard ass work... Guess I'm just too negative... As always.. :P Isn't it funny (now I'm spilling out all of my acrinomiouness´so don't read if you're too sensitive when it comes to critics.) Up until now I've been congratulated by around seven persons... And the thing is that, only one of them is a good friend of mine... And the rest are some people I know... Isn't it ironic... To be remembered by so many people, but yet not those who stand close to you?... You propably think that I'm stupid, cause´I'm writing this in the middle of the night... Well... Right now... Three of my best friends are online and I'm sending text messages with one... Well... Guess it's as I've written before. You shouldn't expect too much from people... Because in the end they'll only let you down ^^'' Not that the birthday would be important for me in any kind of way :P I've always spent it alone (which is exactly what I'll be doing today too) so it's hard for me to see what the big deal about a day like this is -.-'' Oh, wait! I won't be alone for the whole day! Yup... I'll be trapped in the same car as my monster sister and depressing father, for four hours and then of corse, I'll have a moment alone with the nurse who'll poke some living germs into my body ^-^ Tanoshii desu! Then I'll go shopping by myself in the "hospital town" as I call it. And hopefully, closer to the evening I'll be able to boil some tea for myself and sit infront of the computer while watching some great Japanese Tv drama series :D These are my "ultimate birthday" plans, for this year :P *Haa* Only 23 days left... And I still haven't got a family nor a visa... *Losing my hope here*. I guess I'm off to dwell in my precious lonliness ^^ BaiBai~

Itai ~

Mew... My back is hurting once again ^^''
Nowdays my reality is filled with minor panic attacs and worry... The more I chat with the other exchange students, the more I face the reality of how far behind of everyone I am in the Japanese language studies... Well... Can't blame anyone else than me for this... But still... It isn't that easy to study on your own... Especially because you don't have anyone to molest with your questions... ^^'' If there's anyone out there who can speak fluent Japanese, then please tell me if this is right: "Hajimemashite. Watashi ha "Shizuka" desu. Juurokusai desu. Sweden kara kimashita. Watashi wa atarashii koto wo manabu noto, hito to kakawaru koto ga suki desu. Shumi wa ongaku kansyou, to iroirona shurui no sports wo renshuu surukoto desu. Okiniiri no band wa Dir en grey, Kalafina to Gackt desu. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu."? I've tried to find some information on the internet, of how you introduce yourself and I've recieved some help from Mai-chan. But still I'm not sure if this is right. : / ... Yup... I think I'll take a break from the studies now... By watching "Tatta hitotsu no koi" :D Kame is so cool... But still I like Ichihara Hayato more... BYE~

To be Negative or Happy? Or negativetly happy?

The party on Saturday was great, except from the matter that eight persons who'd notifyed to be coming, didn't show up. Well, most of them don't matter that much, because they are just some people I know, not real friends... But then there was someone I really ended up missing... The one and only person who'd always makes me feel comfortable with myself and my surroundings, no matter what I'm wearing or where I am... A little while earlier this hideous thought hit me, followed by a major panic attac... I will miss my friends so much... The thought of not being able to see their faces anymore is too excursiating... Their beautiful, special faces, that has always been there for me, that has always sheltered me from the harsh reality of the cold world... It's too sad to even think about... It feels as if I'm about to lose a huge part of my life... A part that nothing else can replace. What will I do?.. It's too fucking scaring!
Do you have a dream?... One that you'd do anything for to acieve? I've had one... But it was a long time ago... The dream vanished with the reality of hard work and dissapointment... Did you know that dreams are formed from dissapointments? It's true. But what happenes if you lose the will to acieve this dream or yours´ that you're just a fingers leinght away from reaching? Will you still make the "dream" come true or will you choose a different path to walk?...
If you're a big fan of (not really) "horror" and "fun" movies (with a hot guy in the lead role). You should watch "Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge"... It's good. God I love the lead actors voice (when he talks in a normal tone, that is)... So deep... *whaaa* Imagine having a guy like him as a boyfriend... I'd force him to talk -non-stop- *smirk* That would never happene to me :P By the way, I recieved some amazing and beautiful birthday presents (though, my real birthday is the ninth of July). An incredible picture drawn by my very own friend M-chan. A note book, that was so beautiful that it's hard to describe, from Mia-chan (and a hello kitty handikef). Dental thingys (a useful survivor kit, is what my friend called it XD). An incredibly cute candle in the form of a birthday cake (shift´s colors). Some hair clips (pretty <3) and three amazingly beautiful necklaces... One handmade by Plupp-chan <3, one with two glizy red stars, Madde-chan<3 and the last one was a round good luck charm (streinght, courage, long life among others.) this one was from Nalle Puh-san XD There were some others too, but it'd be so tardy to list them all up. Still, everyone, I really, really appreciate these gifts, but most of all, that you were there for me, on my big day! <3... I'll never forget this kindness of yours ^^ (Special thank´s to Jonna-chan who were there for me through the whole weekend and to Nalle puh-san who was the only one that showed some real appreciation towards my home made pan pizzas, and almost ate them all!... Nah.. Not really ^^.) I just realized something, it's good that I'll be leaving soon... Mum' won't have to worry about me anymore after that... Not in this way at least... I won't be home fighting with sis´nor causing trouble anywhere else either... ^^ I will become mature enough to live on my own... and to work and make money by myself, so that I won't be echonomically depending on my parents. Okay... that I won't learn in Japan... But at least I'll become mature enough to do it... Did I already tell you that I got accepted into the International Baccalaureate policy? Unfortunately I have to turn down the offer... Somewhy I don't want to do that... What if I won't get a second chance? Well... I still have to turn it down... :S I think this was all for this time... Bye~

Hope...? None.

*sigh* I guess this is how it's supposed to be... I just recieved three text messages from some friends... And they all said "Sorry but I can't come to your good bye/birthday party tomorrow"... That's all... It doesn't piss me off... but I still feel a bit dissapointed... I'm sure that soon the last one of that group'll cancel too... That's what you get when you begin to look forvards to something. Well, I won't make that mistake again ^^ When a dog bites you, you won't go close to that dog again. Right?
This day has been a living hell. I've worked my ass off all alone.. Cleaning. Baking. Preparing for the party... In the end wonder if anyone will come?... Well, as long as my closest, real friends comes, anything else won't matter ^^ Come to think of it... This is a pretty good way of discovering who really is your friends and will (hopefully) remember you in a good way... *Geeez* And I prepared food for twenty peeps´ -.-'' I'll just have to hope that the guests will eat much :) ... Tomorrow will be the first time in almost one and a half years, that I'll meet Christina-san who moved away in 2008... ^-^ I'll definitly watch Rookies now! This is where I'll stop for tonight. Oyaaaasuminasai~

Education. Prefecture.

Hi. It's been a little while since last time... again. I haven't had any time nor will to blog. Because of the party that is tomorrow, I won't have that much time now either. I just wanted to tell you the big news! I recieved an e-mail from the exchange company the 30:th of June, which contained information about the school that I've been placed to! :D Kanagawa prefecture. Kamakura-city. Shichirigahama senior high school :D I surfed on the internet in hope of finding a little more information about this place when I came across a Finnish girls´blog, and surprise, surprise. This girl is attending the school that I'll enter ^^ She's a year older than me and has been there ever since March I think it was... However my point is that, I somehow feel a bit more at ease, because now there'll be at least one person whom I can talk with, without any hardships... Though... Of course there's the fact that maybe she doesn't want to talk Finnish when she's there, or maybe we won't get along. There are too many factors to even be conciedered. God... I'm fuzzing again. I haven't even met the person yet!
Now there's only the visa and family left... It feels as if the weight is slowly beginning to decrease from my chest. I can even breathe easier and I don't get panic attacs as often anymore ^^ *sattee* Now I've gotta´go and clean up this mess! Ureshikuu! My friends will be coming over tomorrow ^.^ I'm so happy! -:THE END:-

31 Days left...

And there it went, the last day of June 2009... Now there's only one single month separating me from Japan... I definitely won't lose to those thirty-one days! o(_ _)o But, I still can't help it... The doubt creeps up on me every single time I start thinking about the future... I mean, what if I won't get a family? Or even worse a visa?.. These thoughts causes me minor panic attacs every time they're brought up ^^''... Seriously... even one of these two would be a dissappointment that I wouldn't be able to handle... Still let's hope for the best!! Right now I'm working on my presentation... Wonder if something like "Hajimemashite. Watashi wa Shizuka desu. Sweden kara kimashita. Watashi wa juuroku sai desu. Nihongo o benkyo shimasu. Nihongo o oshiete kudasai. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!" would sound good? *Saaa*... I guess that I'll just have to ask Mai ^.^ ... I haven't heard from my friends in a while... Nanka sabishii desu yo ne.. Wonder what they've been up to? I hope everyones´ summer holidays´has been great so far! :D Even though mine hasn't *cough* ^^'' I woke up around one o'clock yesterday (Tuesday)... After that I've been working my ass of to keep my sister pleased while baking Pizzas and test cakes. Man! Mia-chan your cake aint´that frigging´easy to make! XD Somehow I became to understand my sister better that day... I realized something... Videlicet - She had ambition in her eyes... Not like a normal first grader usually has, but a lot more... This was while she was telling me about her plans for the future... It's true that she still is on the level of an eight years old child - emotionally. But she's not as stupid as they usually are... I could almost say that she's clever... Yeah. Let's leave that matter for now. I'm not sure if I've already wrote this, but I'm having a goodbye/birthday party on Saturday... I've invited a lot of people, but only around eighteen persons is notified to come... and like... five of them are guys : / Well you can't have everything ^^'' That's a thing everyone should learn the moment they enter the world :) I've started watching this Tv drama called "Rookies"...*drool *~* It's good, even though it seemed incredibly dull in the beginning... But who cares! It's loaded with awsome, hot guys playing the 10 (?) main roles :x Well, seriously, the story is pretty good too =) ... If you'll excuse me, I have some drooling that has to be done. Sayounara~

五十 - ついに完成!

I've finally done it. I've managed to write fifty kanjis without any help :D Now I'll only have to learn how to keep a one minute long introduction of myself... That's going to be difficult... These are some of the kanjis that I've learned :
母、父、心、石、右、子、友、青、緑、白、赤、 車、牛、犬、猫、大、 愛、小、神、花。雨。家族。本。日。月。山。川。火。水。金。男。女。木。一。二。四。千。
They're not that hard to remember...
My summer vacation, so far, has been pretty un eventful. Today I woke up at three o'clock (PM)... I feel a lot calmer than I did when we still had school... Or maybe I should say "emptier" instead of "calmer". yeah... It's as if my life'd ended with the school... Well. Now it's time to begin building on a new life for myself, now that I don't have any spesific place to belong to^.^ *yawn... I think I'll try finding a site where I can watch a movie named "Negative happy chainsaw edge", it's supposed to be good and one of my favourite actors are in it, so I'll give it a go. Ja mata~

*Haaa...*

This is going to be a fast one. My sister is having her second birthday party for this week... Today it's the relatives turn to stop by and congrat her. She turndes 8 last Fiday... I was planning to sleep over at my brothers place tonight, just for fun... And of course to get some time off from the family ^^ Even though it doesn't seem like it, it's incredibly tardy to be living with two females :P I don't have much more to tell you this time... So I think that I'll just vanish for now ~

Tadaima!... Okaeri...?

Here we are again... Sitting in front of the computer while listening to mums´ talk about how I'm such a horrible child ^^'' This time it's the topic "Host family"... And the last sentence payed attention to "I wonder how long they'll have the energy to listen to your talk, you're such a horrible kid without any manners..." I can't really remember how the "discussion" went on... But I think it was something like "I'm tired of listening to you. Always so annoying. It's good that I'll only have to stand you for one and a half months anymore." ^.^ Well it's true. I'm almost one hundred per cent sure that they'll all be much happier without me hanging around the family as a loose particle. Only family in the house ya´ know :) That'd at least be my policy if I had a home with people living in it... Did I already tell you about how the week at my cousines place went?.. Well if I didn't, then read the earlier post about... Tuesday? (I think it was.) It pretty much describes my week... =_='' Never more... Only 1,5 months left... huh... ^^ That time'll (hopefully) fly by in a blink of the eye :)
Now I'll have to go and pack my things together (mum's all nuts, because two of my bags are lying on the bench.) Ja~na~

Never wanted*

Finally! I've got access to a computer!! Or should I rather say that *I've got permission to be on the computer -.-''* Right now I'm in Tammerfors, at my cousines place. Where I've been ever since Saturday... It seriously feels like I've been here for ages! I wanna´go home... never thought that I'd say that.. ^^'' Well there's only... six days left... -.- I can't stand this... Right now my cousine is sitting on the floor with her friend and her nine... scallops... (I don't even know if that's what they're called)... She has... should I say "a bit" odd preference for house pets... Well... yeah... there are man different kinds of people in this world... Which is good... I mean. Imagine how boring life'd become if everybody was exactly alike.. God... As you propably know, Friday was the last day of my nine years of complusory school, which made me sad... "This is the last day that I'll step into that building as a student of it. After this day I'll become a total stranger to the people there... My place in the teachers daily lifes will be filled with a new student... It's difficult to imagine a life without the present people... I'm going to miss this life of mine... so much..." this is exactly what I was thinking for (almost) the whole Friday... Heh* I'm jumping from one subject to the other ^^'' Sorry for that...
You're propably thinking that I'm a stupid idiot, because I'm staying such a long time at a place where I seriously don't want to be... The thing is... My Mum´ doesn't want to have me around on Midsummer... So she told me that I should stay here and "enjoy" my summer holidays... But the truth is that she doesn't have the energy nor the will to be around me... Well I guess it's good that I'll be going away for a while ^.^ So that she'll be able to rest ad forget about all the trouble I'm causing her :) Well... This post was a bit messy. I apologise for that. And now it's time for me to leave. Bye~

*YaWn*

Good morning my dear blog followers. I don't have much time, so I'll make this one short. There has been so much going on this week, that I haven't had the time to blog. So let's take a short glance through my week. On Monday we had our long awaited "Finishing-dinner", that is kept among the ninth graders and the teachers... It was incredibly fun! I got a diploma that said "This years migratory bird" and a (home made) flag representing Japan... This somehow made me a bit sad... It's like the reality would've struck me... After tomorrow I propably won't meet these people anymore... This truth scares me... Because I don't want to lose any friends! :( Well I'll do my best with keeping in touch with the closest ones though... I definitely won't let go of them! ^^, On Tuesday I went to my grand parents place, where I decided to stop eating candy until the first of August. Wednesday was a horrible day. I went to the town with my mum´ in the hope of finding a dress for the breaking-up that takes place on Friday. But no matter where we searched the dresses would be strange and even ugly -.- and then, surprise, surprise, mum´began blaming me for this and nagging "I shouldn't have come with you! I have much more important things to do than go searching for an unnecessary dress! You can use one of your old ones!". How come that parents just can't understand when you tell them that it's an important once a lifetime occasion, where you want to look as perfect as possible. That will say, you won't have on some old rags from the closet! Well, who cares? Certainly not she -.- I'll go shopping by myself today, and I pray to God that I'll find something! Now I've gotta´go! Bye~

Hellöö

What a nice day... Gloomy clouds covering the sky... *Haa...* Friday was so nice... Me and a group of friends grilled and played soccer the whole evening :) Right now I'm waiting in my room, for the guests to arriwe. My brother's going to have his graduation party today... Grandma´has baked some incredibly tasty cookies (the sort that I never succeed with)... And mum´has been up ever since the early morning, she's been decorating the cakes... *drool* they're so nice looking ^^ I wish that someday I'll be able to make as good bakings as they both do :D Wonder if it'll begin raining and thundering... I hope it won't... :/ And there it went.. My mind slipped again :( There hasn't been a single day ever since I got accepted, that I haven't been thinking about Japan... Please someone help me, just one day... Give me one day when I don't have to worry about it... The thought has became a bother... Rather than joy I feel tardy and fed up... Jah jah.. Now positive thoughts!... can't come up with any -.-'' GACKT! He's so cool ^^, The way he sings... He compeletly puts his soul and mind into it... It's almost as if you'd be able to hear his thoughts through the words that you can't understand... OH! * I think my cousines arriwed now. Gotta´go C-ya~

Congratz´ bigbro´!

Hello peeps. Today was the last day of my brothers twelveyears long education (school years). That will say - he got his degree! He graduated from the "Natural Science Programme" (upper secondary school) :D It's impossible to portray my feelings about this... Maybe the closest description would be the simple word "Proud"... Yes.. that's the word... proud... ^^ I hope that someday I'll be standing on the stage with a white (degree) cap on my head too! And maybe my sister will feel the same way as I do now? (as if that'd ever occur XP.) My grand parents (from mums´side) came over today and... cleaned -.- My grandma´is something I'd like to call an "almost pedant" person... Even though me and my sister had tidy´ed up the place before they came, she still could find incredibly many "misstakes" with it all :/ Well, we're going to have big bros´ graduation party on Sunday... So I guess It's just good that they came over to our place right? ^^, My camera's getting full :( I only have something like eighteen or twenty spaces left... (When the camera's empty there are around 750 spots.) So I'm in a pinch right now, with all the coming feasts and everything! You know the cake I was talking about in yesterdays post? Yeah, well I kind of ended up (almost) eating it all by myself... I guess it wasn't that tasty... Mum only took one piece of it... Sis´ didn't take any (I think) and the same goes for dad´... Though my grandma´ate one piece... But that doesn't matter does it... I guess I'll give up on baking for now on ^-^ It's better to leave it to someone who can make tasty cakes right? :) Well I'm going to continue watching this Japanese drama now (name: Bloody Monday.) It's really good and has an incredibly "hot" lead actor :D (Miura Haruma) *gaah* If you excuse me, I'm going to start drooling now ^^ JaMata~

Tokyo the 1 of august 2009 :D

Oh God. It's already June... The time has passed by so fast... It feels as if it was yesterday that I told Ess that "It feels as if this is the real beginning of my life" (this actually happened the first of January -09)... It's hard to believe, but soon... so soon... I'll find myself in Japan. Tokyo to be more precise (for the first three weeks at least), where the language camp is going to take place. *haaa...* Now I'm seriously longing for that day to come... Guess what! I just baked a cinnamon bun cake :) In the end it turned out to be pretty good (haven't tasted it yet though). It's a pity that I can't find my USB cable for the camera, othervise I would've posted a picture of it :/ Well, it consists of many cinnamon buns that has been stucked together, and it also has icing on the top... I'm seeing forvards to hearing mums' opinion about it... Wonder if she'll like it... Yup.. Today was a pretty "chill" day in school. I finished my trousers in the textile craft and learned that my teacher (still) is a total hag... (sorry for that, I just had to get it out of me :P).. The reason for this is that she propably won't raise my grades, even though I've busted my ass of on those freaking ugly pair of trousers >( Well some people just can't appreciate hard work. *Oh* I almost forgot, I also had my second P.E class with the fifth graders... Not easy at all... They're a little too noisy for my taste. But in the end everybody listened and played the game I told them to. "I feel great. Not a single thing to worry about!" is what I'd like to say, but it would be a big fat lie ^^'' Well now I'm off, to clean my room. Sayounara~ Oh! By the way dad's coming home today! (haven't seen him in ten days) Maybe I'll force him to take a bite of the pretty cake that I've made!~

Ohisashiburi!

Hello, it's been long since the last time, around eleven days... right? I'm not so sure about the title of this post, there's a big possibility that it's all wrong, so please, don't pay too much attention to it ^^ Under this (post) gap of eleven days, I've done so much that I even can't remember the half of everything. Etoo... Let's see... Well, I've been so tired, that I've slept a few hours after each schoolday (mum' doesn't like this :P), I've also worked my as off with all the school projects, especially the Swedish and Society knowledge, which both had pretty big assignments... What do you think of the title "Japan through the times"? Too much of a cliché? Well a good friend of mine once told me that adults like clichés, so I chose this as the title for my Junior high degree assignment in society knowledge (it was in Swedish, though.) The whole projekt turned out to be a "success", I'm very pleased with the outcome of all of my hard work, it was worth it^^ Okay... that sounded a bit egoistic... Like "Kiss my feet, you low life people. I'm soooo good -.-'' style... Eheh... Have you ever felt that you've had enough, even though you've been incredibly close to the finish line? That you just can't stand it anymore? Well that's how I feel at least. Especially when it comes to the teachers, my patiense with them has totally ran out. I'm just so fed up with their crap. Like yeaterday one of our teachers forced me to skip the English and P.E class, just because she wanted ME, not anyone else, just me (okay there was about four other students too) to work on a f**king presentation movie of the week in Lingen... Ya' know what the worst part of everything was? Well there was many XP For example that we were forced to crowd in an incredibly small room -without any form of air conditioners, that barely could hold three little tables, around two computers, for three whole hours without any kind of permission for stepping outside of that little smelly box, kind of thing-.- At first we were around ten people pushing around in the room, but then some lucky individuals managed to escape and in the end there was just four people working on those (two) movies (the other one was about our meeting-places in this town, as if there were any -.-''.) This may soud like an easy thing to do, but imagine four people sitting side to side (incredibly close to eachother) in a room that could've passed for a sauna... horrible. When I finally "had" to leave that place (teacher couldn't stop me XD) the nagging hag got pissed off at me (I had to leave for the bus that I ride home with every day)... Sometimes I'm so happy because I live in tha´bushes (still most of the time I'm not)... It totally saved me yesterday ^.^ Yeah... this was about everything I guess... And by the way, pardon me for my freakingly´, bad English won'tcha´. Everything is a bit stirred up in my head right now, I woke up around 3 o'clock Am. and haven't been able to sleep after that... Yeah... And I've also vomited twice -.- Talking about freshness XP ...And watching Japanese dramas definitely doesn't improve my English ^^'' Now once again I'm of to the... TOILET! Bye~

Good evening.

My dear friends I have the pleasure of informing you, that once again... I'm tired -.-'' *Yawn... I woke up around eleven o'clock this morning... ever since, I've been wandering around the house like a zombie ^^ This day has been incredibly pleasant. The weather is so pretty and both of my parents are at home :D We cleaned the front yard and Dad´made some BBQ for dinner... So nice :) Quality family time - That's what I call it :3 I've been chatting with a Japanese guy from a language learning webb-page, he's going to teach me some Japanese, in exchange I'm going to teach him English, good deal huh ^^ Nice to finally get someone to teach me (at least) the basics of the language! God I hate to live in a socially restricted place like this -.- And don't worry, I'm not going to give him any personal information about myself... That's what my parents told me not to do... Sometimes I really wonder how stupid they think I am...? Well yeah, it's true you can never be too cautious... Ayways, I don't care if he's a psyco-maniac or pedofile as long as he's nice and willing to teach me ^_^ So the summer has (almost) finally arriwed to the North of Sweden! It's around 19 celsius degrees in the shadows outside! Yattaa!! And once again I have to evaporate! JaMata!~

~.~

Aww... My eyes hurts -.- I'm so tired that I hardly can keep my eyes open... It's been like this for a few days now. Mum' says that I'm depressed or something XP The truth is that I've just grown so tired of this everyday life... People are so tiring : / Sometimes I just feel like shouting out "F#*x off freaking hypocrites" loud to everybody ^-^ So shameless humanes can be... Well I'm not going to waste any effort on those kind of people :) Today I went shopping with a friend of mine in the hope of finding a dress for the breaking up, but I ended up buying a pair of trousers that fit me perfectly :D Lucky! It was incredibly fun to shop with Murvelludd-chan, she had her own opinions about clothes and we found many different articles of clothing that would've been sooo nice to afford buying ^^ Just gotta´wait til´ I become rich :3 I'm off now! (dad has made some delichious dishes of fish, butter and potatoes) Umee :D XOXO Shizuka-chan

The final start.

And here we are again. Some things never change huh... The school days has became a mere bother, we don't learn anything and yet still we have to go there every single day... I'm really looking forvard to the 12:th of June (this is when our school ends). I skipped a class for the first time in my life, today. I figured that this was something you have to do at least once before you've finnished with the junior high... So true... You propably wonder why? Well the real reason for this was that we didn't have a music lesson (which was supposed to be before the "skipped" lesson) so we had an hour spare time there and it would've been compeletly pointless to go to the class where the teacher only naggs... I can't stand her -.- So I decided to take a well deserved break XP and go watch the guys play football instead (yes I am going to do the things I missed as home work... not that it would've been anything important)...
I feel happy... But still not relieved. The sun is shining brightly and the summer is headed full speed towards the Northern part of Sweden, but I just can't let go of the freaking exchange thing... Ya' know, it's time to apply for a visa to the country... Incredibly complicated... *Oh' I have to go now, but I'll be back.. someday... (hopefully)~

Difference.

Have you notised a thing with "friends"... When they start smoking and drinking alcohol, they're like "oh you're so brave when you don't fall for group pressure" and yet after they've said this you slowly begin to slide out of the "group", you become one of the least popuilar persons, and in the end you'll be left behind and always forgotten. Fun huh.. Just because of some intoxicant subjects... Talking about "true" friendship! Lovely... This was some thoughts that suddenly just hit me, so I decided to write it down for you and maybe I could get to know your opinions. Do you think that this is what happenes or do you have some other views on this thing?~

01.08.09

The first of August is the setteled date for my leave abroad. After we've arriwed to the country, I'll participate in a three weeks long language camp (soft landing camp, as it is called) in Tokyo, so It'll be a good kick of for my year in Japan ^.^
Tomorrow we have our national tests in chemistry... I'm pretty sure that I'll flunk this one, because it's my weakest subject and we haven't had it in... two years I think.. I can't think of anything else to write about, so I'll just let it be like this for now ~

Solitude hurts´. Right?

Hello my dear friends. I'm finally back from the long (two days) jurney, to and from the Explorius "get together" in the capital of Sweden. It was fun... I spent over two days just with my father, which is something that I've never done before. Before we left I got to meet some of his working colleagues, and what surprised me the most were that they all knew that I was leaving for Japan... This may sound a bit strange but I was "moved" by this... Yeah, sure.. He spends fiwe days a week with them, so what was I expecting...? But still he seemed so proud when one of the colleagues began talking about that... It had never even crossed my mind that he'd be proud of me... I had always thought that it was incredibly bothering for him, because of all the money that is required for the programme.. So we drove for twelve hours to get to Stockholm, where we stayed over at a aquaintance persons place. Then in the morning we got ready for the meeting (that lasted for fiwe hours) and after that we sat into the car and drove back home, this time it only took nine ands a half hours, so we arriwed home four o'clock in the morning. That is the reason why I just woke up... I'm so tired! Well.. well... I'll go and grab something to eat now. JaNe~ oh by the way. The chick that's responsible for Japans students, told me that I have to learn 50 kanjis and to keep an one minutes long introduction about myself, that may not sound so hard... but you can't even imagine how difficult it is... BYE~

Dead end.

These thoughts just keep on coming. It's something I can't stop, no matter what I do... And they all end up at the same point, that will say; I don't want to attend to school after this last term. I've tried to find options, but it all seems so boring... I want to do something with my life. And that something doesn't include studying all the time. My hand still hurts´ a bit, the reason for this is that I tripped while playing basketball alone... On a pool of mud -.-'' The humiliation didn't end here though. Almost the entire Finnish parallel class was watching as I did this ^^'' Luckily my clothes didn't get dirty... But my hands were all covered in mud... Still I just got up and continued throwing baskets... I think that I'll do this tomorrow too (without the fall) :D It's so much fun! There's tons of school assignments that are just waiting to get done by me... I just can't seem to be able to gather enough energy to do this XP Well.. gotta' keep on trying. There's only approximately one month left... Now I've gotta´go to bed. Still, you know I love you XOXO Shizuka-chan XD

Reason..

To write a novell aka. short story... What should I write about.. Love? Life? Sacrifices? Death? Future?... Myself?.. There's too many subjects to choose from... and the lack of imagination that I possess is a big problem too. This is a homework assignment that has to be made til' tomorrow... Wonder if I'll make it :/
I've been wondering how people succeed with keeping themselves skinny? Because for me it's (not that I want to become super skinny), no matter how much or little I eat and exercise, I'll always stay as a "normal" sized person XP Wonder how it feels like to be skinny? Is it as great as everyone seems to think? Maybe... I would like to try it out :D But yeah.. Who cares... The size doesn't make a person less or more valuable. Everyone is equal, don't you think?
Lately I've bumped into many persones who seems to think that the people who blog are complete idiots who live for make-up and alcohol... This makes me sad... It isn't true, so why should everybody be labeled into that group of people?.. I think it's kind of pathetic -.- Well...Well... Children, it's time to go to bed now and I'll maybe, if you behave, continue the story of my life tomorrow ~Good Night~

Life is wicked..

I'm sitting here infront of the computer trying to do anything possible to get my mind of the exchange thing... But it's all just a bunch of wasted effort, I just can't stop wondering about the family I'll recieve... Will I have as good luck I had with the German family? or will I even get a family?.. it's been over a month since I sent the letter to the company... and there hasn't been a single message concerning the family... I'm going all crazy thinking about this -.-
Yesterday evening something creepy happened... Or at least I think happened. When I went to the kitchen to get some water, I notised that there was a cutting board with a plate and a bowl on top of it, on the table.. This scared the crap out of me because I have no remembrance at all of such a thing... On top of that, I've never even seen the chopping board before :/ So I can guarantee that I haven't used it... It can be that my brother has put them on the table... but how come I haven't seen them before yesterday evening? (brother left Friday morning)... Yeah... as you may have notised I'm going all nuts ^^'' Well... luckily there's school tomorrow, so that I won't have any time to think about everything... :P Now I'm off~

Repeated words.

I'm home alone again... and I'll be home alone for the next... two or three days I think. It's so boring~ But I like staying home alone ^^Because you can do wathever you want to without anybody notising :D Well yeah... It's nice to have little time for yourself... but that's only a little! o(_ _)o not three days...
On Friday next week, we'll be leaving towards the capital of Sweden, just to find ourselves in a four hours long meeting with the exchange company on Saturday... We'll apparently go there by car -.- Haha* now than I glance through the post I see that it's all messed up XP Sorry for that, I just woke up. ~

Reality...

My blog mostly consists of questins... and yet so few answers. Is life as cruel as it's said to be? To me it seems like a fairly good place to be living in ^^ .... By the way, how was your Walpurgis night? Mine was pretty uneventful -.- Right now I'm having really bad agression attacks against this freaking keyboard... It's kind of broken I guess... Wonder what brother did to it last night :/ They're about to leave now, so I guess that I'll go and say goodbye to them and of course you too~

Longing for a life.

Hello all the lonely peeps out there who haven't got anything better to do than read my (pretty boring) posts.
Sometimes life feels so incredibly lonely, don't you think? Right now it feels as if I would be the only person on this entire planet... Even though my brother and his two (lunatic) friends are here, it feels as if they're just some shadows in the background of my hazy vision... I wonder what everybody else is doing right now... Are they having fun? or do they feel like I do? I hope they're all having a great time ^-^... They're worth it... Especially you... you really deserve it more than anybody else :) 1852... That's the name of the song I'm listening to... I love it =:)
...I'm beginning to feel a bit sick... dunno' why... Maybe I've eaten too much or something : / yeahyeah I'm still happy :D Oh God... My mood swings are incredible don't you think? ^^
By the way, forget the thing about Monday, we were only having a BBQ at Cedriks place, where pretty much everybody drank (apart from me). I don't want to think about that trip anymore... It's time to move forvards in the life... Maybe make some minor changes... Or why not majour ones?? Well, we'll see...
Somewhy I miss my old life where I didn't have to care about anything (only a few minor problems).. I was so happy... Okay I was normally happy... maybe... at least I was satisfied with my own life! Now I just have to work hard so that I'll become satisfied with my situation!! :D Right!!? Keep on working and it'll pay off! Nooot XP Well I guess I have to leave for the May bonfire now... Byjaeu~

Nothing better to do.

I'm bored so I figured that I'd use my time for something good. Monday in Germany; When Janina and I woke up the sun was shining so brightly and birds were chirping! It was so wonderful... We got dressed and went downstairs to find her mother sitting beside of a compeletly laid table... It felt so nice... To sit there and eat the tasty sandwitches beside of an open terrace door... Just the thought of it makes me want to rush to the airport and get on the first plane there... After breakfast we got our bags and began our 20 minutes school bike ride.. I have to admit that I've always been incredibly lousy at biking, but I learned to do it properly thanks to Janina ^^''... We got breakfast in school too! But it wasn't as nice as back home. This was the first time that I met everybody from the German group too.. It was so much fun! After we'd eaten, we got divided into three groups which were supposed to work with the project, our group consisted of Hanne, Janina, Svenja, Emilia, Evelina and me. Our task was to look through all of the material that the different Comenius countries had came up with... Well it ended up with us watshing videos on Youtube instead XP *oh I have to go! I'll continue with the Monday later then ~Tsjuss!~

Myself inside of me?

I was just scrolling through some old posts, when I notised a comment I hadn't seen before. It was posted on the 18:th of this month... The last time I'd been on the computer before the trip was on the 17:th... So I didn't see it... Sorry about that.
Sometimes it really feels like all the hard effort you put into relationships goes to waste, but then there are times when you feel needed by someone... To me the feeling of being needed is walking alongsides with the feeling of happiness... Because if nobody needs you, then what's the point in needing them?
The picture at the top of this page is a real piece of art. It captsures every thought and every single feeling you can have. What do you think of it? To me it doesn't only represent the sadness and darkness in my life, as many people may see it. When you look closely at it you may notise many different feelings... For example, see how proudly the tree is standing there, even though it's all alone it's still there on the top of the hill and underneath a grey sky, keeping it's leafs alive. This is exactly what everyone should do when they feel lost... Just never give up... That's the most important thing.
Today has been a long day.. I've been a bit lost in my thoughts... I don't know why... But my head is just so filled with all this crap which has led to a traffic stop of my thoughts and somewhy the traffic won't seem to get moving, no matter what I try to do...
This thought suddenly hit me.. "What kinds of person´s do you hate?" please tell me... I, myself hate people who lie. No matter what they lie about, I just hate it... Why do people even lie to others... especially to the ones who trusts them? Well I dunno´ . Haa.. I'll tell you later about the trip. Now I'll just take a nap or so something.

Home coming.

Now that I've gathered some strenght to blog, I'm going to tell you how the week in Germany was and what we did there. This is what we did to get to Germany; we left the town 12 o'clock with a bus and steered the wheels towards the airport (2hrs), where we waited for the plain for about one hour. After this we began our flying strike, the first flight was to Arlanda (1hr30min) after a nice landing, it was time for us to jog to the second plane that left after 45 minutes. This one was to Dusseldorf (1hr45min)After we had arriwed to Dusseldorf we went to get our bags. But there was only one small problem, Emilia´s bag didn't come. After a few minutes of waiting, we got a message that her bag had been left on the Arlanda, and that it would arriwe the next day. Then we rushed for the first of the three trains, we barely made it. The first ride was from the airport to the trainstation (20min), when we got of one of the girls got pale and shocked she said that her handbag was lost, later we discovered that she'd left it on the first train, the bag contained; 2 cellphones, a Ipod, 2000 sek(kr), a new digital camera and her passport. After (ab. 45min) we got on the second train (2hrs) where everyone was staring at us -.- Then it was time for the third train, we ran there and just barely made it. When we dashed into the train there was two women laughing and then one of them just suddenly bursted out "which one of you is Marianne?!" Everybody was just staring at the woman... Then we pointed at the girl, she was standing in the middle of the crowd looking like a question mark. The woman was like "HII! I'm Jan´s big sis' you'll be living at our place for a week!" This made everybody laugh out very loudly. The train ride lasted for around 1.5hrs and at the last minutes before our stop (11 o'clock) everybody was incredibly nervous and shaky. So when we finally got out of the train we met our host brothers and sisters (sister for me). I don't know about the others but to me it came as a shock when I met my host sister Janina, she was so incredibly tall! around thirty centimeters taller than me. Her dad was like two metres, so it didn't surprise me after I saw him. After we had greeted eachother we went to the car and drove to their house which was incredible... So clean and tidy... Just like a house from a IKEA catalogue. Her mother was so nice too and pretty! Well I don't have any more time right now, so I'll stop this here. Bye~

Greetings here from Germany!

I don't have much time right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here. These last six days have been both very eventful and hard on the mind. I have the best possible host family you could ever imagine and the house they live in is just so adorable... But the hard part in this whole trip is the teachers. One of them makes me disgusted by the bare thought of him and the other one just can't seem stop whining about everything and bossing around... believe it or not, I acctually lost my temper at her today and yelled back when she was nagging about everything... Yeah.. that's life... I guess I'll make a summary of the week when I come back home. With amiable greetings - Shizuka

Amiable days..

It hurts so much :/ my stomach aches...
I took a "power nap" after I'd came back home... It was horrible... I had like two double dreams after eachother and every single one of them was a nightmare... In the first one (if I remember right) I suddenly got this awful pain inside of my head, seriously it was un-bareable... Like try to 'close' your ears, the feeling is much alike the pain you when your ears are blocking up. Then I woke up from that dream (or so I thought). When I did this, it hurt really much in my head... So when I stood up I had grown like half a metre... I think I started to scream, and when I was going to walk out of the livingroom I was so big that I couldn't fit the space our livingroom door leads to.. Not fun at all... And when I thought I woke up from this dream I only remember everything to be normal except from the horrible pain that came again... I fell asleep in this dream... And last but not least, the fourth dream (most scary one). In this one I woke up when our schools student counsellor came into our kitchen (at first I thought that it was mum'), but I pretended to sleep... When I notised that she wasn't the person that I'd took her for, I tried began walking towards the kitchen... My steps were wobbly and I couldn't get the voice out of my mouth... Suddenly dad' and sis' where there too. This was when the horrible part begun. Suddenly a wolf (huge one) appeared on our front yard, it looked around and notised us (we were inside of the house), it came to the window and started to scratch and hit it... It was so close, only half a metre away... Then suddenly we could hear more wolfs´ that tried to break into our house (these ones were at the door). I tried to yell at dad' when he had this calm look on his face, he just smiled and said that he could take them out with one shot if they came in and when I tried to yell and ask 'What about mother who will return home from work at any minute?!' but the voice just didn't come out that loud... The wolves continued to scratch and jump towards the door... Now I heard the sound of the front door opening loudly.. This is when I woke up for real, I was seriously shocked I just sat there and stared until dad' came there and started to nag because I hadn't answered his calls... This was everything for this time (sorry if the post is a bit blurry, I don't have time to glance through it) Bye.

3~days... >ö(>.<)ö<

Anger is one of the easiest feelings to express, but one of the most difficult ones to control... Isn't that right?
I've been home for the whole day (apart from a visit to the local hospital)... I'm sick. I woke up with a horrible headache and hig fever, but I stuffed myself full of pills so that I wouldn't feel anything (which I didn't do after a while) and I could live on.
I just finished watching the great drama 'Nobuta wo produce'... Are friends really worth all the hard effort and work you have to put into the relationship? This is a thing I've been wondering about lately... I mean, sure they're precious and good to have around. But is it really worth it... especially when you're the only one who cares? I wonder...
I think that I'll go to school tomorrow... Even though I feel like crap... But there is an important meeting I have to attend to...
It's three days left to the departure to Germany... I like cats ^.^ Which is good, because my host family has two of them... I just hope that they won't have freaky names, so that I'll remember them... Otherwise it'd be awkward... XP
I bought a new mp3 player today when I was waiting for the time to pass down town (1hr)... It's really cute (looks like a round, beige marble stone :D )...
*Garh...* Mum's so annoying... Right now she's nagging at me because my sis' didn't have her P.E outfit in the schoolbag today and apparently it's all my fault... man I don't get that woman at all :/ so confusing~ Well she doesn't have anything else to do, so I can't really blame her XP
Jajajaha.. I'll go and take a shower... After that I'll drug myself (compeletly numb) and go to bed...
¨-v^¨^v- Gute nacht -v^¨^v-¨

Life or...?

Five days ago my cousine came to the arctic part of Sweden (XP) so I've been with her almost for the whole week. On Saturday we were slalom skiing and on Sunday Plopp-chan had her 16:th birthday party, unfortunately I could only stay there for two and a half hours... Yes it was because of my little dominant cousine who got pissed off by the bare thought of me going to a birthday party when she was here ^-^'' But the short time I was there was super fun :D I hope that the others had as much fun after that I left (of course they had ;p ). Well today I've been at my grandparents place with my cousines family (and my lil' sis')... It was... How should I put it... Very eventful... We went to the hills, where we were supposed to grill sausage, but I just slept in the snow mobile trailer (so boring), that's when my other cousin (11 years old... I think) decided that he'd walk back to the house on his own, beause he was so bored... Well later when we were supposed to go back to the house, we discovered that he had taken the wrong path, so we had to start searching for him. Well after we'd found him we took another path so that we'd come to the original trails. But the snow mobile trail we were riding was so soft that the whole trailer (where 6 persons were sitting) tipped over... God I was so wet when we finally made it back... I hope I won't catch a cold now ^.^
Lately I've been having these horrible nightmares. For exaple, in one, mum' just suddenly collapsed to the ground, she had this emotionless look on the face... It was just as if she'd had a heart attack... I got so scared by this dream that I had to get out of the bed to check on her so that she was okay... Luckily it was just a dream...
Tomorrow the school starts again... Only a week left to the Germany trip... I wonder how it all will go... jaja. I'mma´get going now-- jaNe~

Comeback.

The blogger's back! I haven't had the time to blog in over a week.. So finally I'm reunited with my ever so faithful friend... the laptop! I spent the weekend at Mai-chans place, where she thaught me how to write a letter in Japanese... Well I have to learn how to speak the language before I compeletly will be able to write a letter all by myself... That doesn't matter though. I sent the letter to the organisation on Monday, they should've recieved it by now... So the search finally begins!.. Now I won't be able to sleep before I get a family -.-'' Today I've cleaned the bathroom, compeletly. I even washed the walls and sauna... And yes, I did all this for a payment of 100 sek (kr)... It was so tough... ^^'' No wonder that mum' had that smug look on her face when I agreed on doing it for a payment like that... She was so exited that she even told dad' about it over the phone.. ~.~ Evil woman... I hope she's pleased with herself now that she've made me suffer for a whole day... again ^-^ My cousines will be coming to our place on Friday... Yatta! I feel somewhat relieved... I don't know why...maybe it is because I haven't had anyone to talk properly to lately... Beside of that, my cousine is one of the few persons that acctually listens to me and acts as if she'd really be interested in the things I have to say, which is very rare for anyone to do... Not even my mum' cares about my opinions, which is more hurtful than annoying. Well some people sucks... I've been watching 'Nobuta wo produce', a great Japanese drama serie... Everybody can change... Is that really true?... I wonder...
This thought suddenly hit me... What do I want to become?.. If I'd get the chance to chose one thing in the whole world, what would I want to become?... A real friend, that is what I want to become... a person that everyone can trust, a person that is easy to like... Wouldn't that be wonderful? ^.^....
Yeah, by the way... I've forgot to tell you peeps' that we have our Eastern holidays right now, that's why I've been home for the whole day... Yeah, yeah~~~~
Now I'll go and do something... THE END.

Quizzzz~.*~¨..

I just took a quiz (sorry I haven't got anything better to write about ^^''), it was really fun but the results were a bit contradictory... This is what it said:
--"September"--
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized.
Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize.
Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool.
Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed.
Loyal but not always honest. Does work well.
Very confident. Sensitive. Thinking generous. Good memory.
Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information.
Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself.
Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

Am I really that kind of a person?.. I'm not so sure about it... For example "Fun to be around"... *Cough* Wouldn't say so *cough* yeah yeah.. This was a boring post, I know.
-:END:-

La vie est belle, le destin s'en écarte.

"Life is beautiful, but destiny takes a different path." That is so true... Not everyones future is as beautiful as life, I really hope that mine will be though... As my motto says "When you're angry for a minute, you lose sixty seconds of happiness." I have no intensions of wasting my life being angry ^.^ So I'll try make the best out of every situation... So that my future will be beautiful.
This is my first post in many days. I've done so much since the last post, for example; Me, Chan-chan, Josh-chan, Puh-san, Muscleman-san, Birdie-chan, Kangelbärra Blue-chan and (a new name!).. Polarbear-san(?), spent an evening together (okay maybe a litter longer than just an evening..) and had generally just fun, even though a pedofile came and told us to get lost... Birdie-chans father got really angry at this nasty man and show´d him where his place was... It was really fun ^-^ (I really respect Birdie-chans father). I just recieved a message from AnnBritt who asked me to come over to their place and stay there from next Friday to Sunday, so that Mai could learn me how to write a Japanese letter to the host family... Oh my God how I am looking frowards to that weekend! Mai is so nice ^^ I've been chatting with a girl from Germany, who I (propably) will spend the week with (in April). She's really nice and interesting, she's going to be an exchange student in August too! What a coincidence. Only that she'll be going to Latvia for ten months. But still so cool. (I learned some german from her too... BEIR! That's all I need to survive there) :D ehehee... Yeah... A girl from our parallell class assaulted Chan-chan a while ago, and this was compeletly without any reasons, later that chick said that *I only wanted to fight*... Talking about screwed... Today I haven't done so much... I've been down town with mum... and slept... That's about everything. Tomorrow I'll be vaccinated again and stuff like that... Well later then~ Oh... By the way I forgot to tell you that I got an upper ear and belly piercing last week. C~ya

Fast Post.

I don't have much time so I'll make this short. On Sunday I arrived home around 10.pm. Monday I did the English test and turned in the Swedish essay papers. Tuesday - Today, I woke up at 5.am. to prepare the surprise for mother who has her fortysecond birthday today. I made a small birthday cake, piled up her birthday presents on the kitchen table and ligt the candle on the cake. When she came downstairs (around 6.am) she was very happy to see all this, which is pretty unusual for mum'... Because of this I've been very happy the whole day. Nyappy! ^-^ Now I'm off. Byebyee~

Long summary.

Now that I have time, I'll make a long summary of this week^^

To begin with, the reason why I'm here in Tampere is because I wanted to see An Café live, and so I did :D (more later). I'm living at my cousines place (where I am right now). I came here on Tuesday a seven hours long train ride (it didn't feel that long)... all I did was read a really good book with the name Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (Josh-chan you really should read it), and listen to music. The day after I'd arrived was the long awaited day AN CAFE! Firstly we dressed up really cute for the concert. I wore a tricot blazer with a grey t-shirt on, a pair pink leggings and a turquise mini skirt (and of course my sweet reebok shoes). My cousine had a pair of black leggings with knee high socks on, a black vest and a check mini skirt (so cute!). After we had done that we left for the concert... To find the (around) 1,5 km long queue -.-'' We had to queue for about 1 hour and 45 minutes to get in... It was freezing cold. When we finally got in we looked like a pair of Ice chicks... The place where the live was held... It was so smaaaalll... I can't believe that over 1500 peeps could fit in there. We got pretty close to the stage... about five metres. When the concert begun I seriously thought that I was going to be stone-deaf after the concert. I mean imagine around 1500 chicks screaming their lungs out... OMG o_o The guys... THEY WERE SOOOO CUTEEE!! seriously! They look exactly as good in the real life as in the pictures. And the music was so good! Miku sounded exactly like in the cd´s (no he wasn't mimicing, this was the real shit man)... Sooo cute...

This is Miku-san. it was really hard to get any pictures because of all the crazy girls who were waving around with their hands.

And you can never guess what I've got! Look!

Cute huh^^ ? It's a vest, I bought it from the concert... okay this wasn't the thing I was going to show you..

You can never guess what I've got.. Or can you? Nop. look what I've got, look what I've got!

(The picures are a bit bad) Do you know what it is?... Well it says An Cafe on this side...

And on this side it is : Kanon. Date of Birth: July 5th (crab). Blood Type: 0. Hobby: Take a wark (yes it is with a r) in AKI-BA. Favourite food: Chicken ramen. Body piercings: 1.

It's Kanon-sans plectrum :D He threw it of stage and it flew right on my cousine, but nobody else than me notised that so I got it -^.^- Nyappy people... At one point of the concert Miku threw a mumin teddy to the audience... Well in the end there was like two girls fighting over it... Really they were fighting for their lifes ^^'' Creepy.. well I didn't have to fight for this one, luckily... I lost my red cap at the concert! it fell at some point (I'd tied it around my neck) I am so depressed :( Well you've gotta' do sacrifices for something better... But still... The chick from Explorius is really bugging me, for my luck the papers have arrived there, but then suddenly the woman e-mailed me that 'you've forgotten to send your personal letter in Japanese along'.. I was like WTF. The webbsite says that you don't have to have any kind of knowledge about the Japanese language, and then they come up with something as freaky as that -.-'' Luckily I have a Japanese friend in Sweden who've invited me to stay over at her place for a weekend so that she could help me with the letter and generally teach me Japanese... Thnx Mai! Well this was everything for this time, now I'll go and see if well go and get "pierced" today (me, my cousine and her friend are gonna get belly piercings) it's nice not to have to get it alone.. Well Bye Bye Sayooooounara!

Distress

I just recieved a call from my mum', she said that the people from Explorius had phoned her yesterday and asked how I was doing with the papers... She meant the files that I sent two weeks ago -.- I don't know what to do... I feel so mizerable, I mean, what if they won't recieve them and all the freaking hard work was for nothing? I swear that I'll make the people who've delayed the post suffer, if the files won't reach explorius office before the 22 of May. That's the last day.... After that I won't be able to send anything there... I'll so fucking kill them if they don't deliver the files... By the way, I notised that I'd messed up with the name of one of the movies we watched, it was "Tummien perhosten koti" (the home of the dark butterflies) and not "Mustien perhosten koti" (the home of the black butterflies) I sincerely apologize for this mistake of mine. That was everything for this time again, goodbye.