Butterflies flying.

*Just noticed* I haven't blogged in a while (again). The family trip went well. Even though I hated pretty much, every single moment of it. Luckily we're back home again and even though the time is crawling by, it's only 3 days until the departure date :) On Thursday I'm going to stay over at my dad´s workplace in the "hospital city". It's a "factory camp" where he lives from Monday to Friday every week. Then early, on Friday morning, I'll be flying far, far away from this present life of mine... I don't know whether to be happy or sad...? I'll leave my friends and family behind for almost a whole year. But still, I'm heading towards a compeletly new start, a new life... A life that I can make to whatever I want to... This is where the real battle begins... Is what Shinonome Mei´s Grandfather told her. Kind of fits into this situation of mine. ^^'' I've had the two interviews now. Hopefully I won't look too stupid on the pictures (as I usually do). All of the packing are finished and I'll get my visa along with my passport on Arlanda. Everything seems to be working out quite well... But still it feels as if there's going to be something blocking my way to acieving my dreams... Maybe just self conciousness? Whatever I do, things tend to turn out wrong. So, it's pointless to get your hopes up on anything. The feeling of dissapointment... it hurts too much. That's a thing that I've learned a fairly long time ago. I've spent this day with Jonna-chan. It was somewhat calming to have her around... (?) Wonder why :) That's a friend to be cherished. I wonder... Ima wa minasan ni nani o shitemasu ka... (propably not even right -.-). The first 3 weeks will be spent with people called a "Welcoming family" in other words, a substitute family in Tokyo. Well, for the time being, I haven't recieved any information concerning the family... I'm pretty sure that no one wants me xP. Who would? A complete stranger living at their place, and on top of that, a stranger who doesn't speak the language -.-'' ... One of the reporters asked me what kind of expectations I had for the coming year... That's when I realized that all of the earlier images and stuff in my head was gone. I have no longer any kind of special thoughts of what'll be awaiting me in the future... Just the one and only thing that I'm sincerely hoping for: That I'll become fluent in the language. Everything else makes no difference. ^^ Though, I'd love to make a bunch of new friends and have the time of my life. =3 Yeah. I'll propably update you later if I'd happene to recieve any kind of information. Oyasumi~