That's life

This morning I heard an old song on the radio, it made me feel sick, my mother used to sing it to me when I was little just before bedtime.
Today was an outdoors day from school, which was horrible because it was like -20 *C degrees below freezing point (and this was in the sun -.-). But before I went to the woods (where the classes were held) I had to visit the hospital for the results of my TBC test. I don't have TBC but I also don't have any kind of immun-system against it, which means *more needles and drugs...* I don't know what to think... Well I guess I'll just have to bare with it...
The sun is shining incredibly brightly and there's snow everywhere, such a nice day, don't you think?.. It somehow always feels so lonely when nobody comments on the posts´... I know it sounds stupid but that is the truth.. It's like, I'd be writing down these things and yet still not be heard.. Okay bakana.. I admit that I'm writing this blog for myself but still... I need comments! ^-^''
Sometimes the thought "Is this really everything life has to offer me?" goes through my head... "Is this really all I can get?" Well, no it isn't. That's why I keep on doing my best with the exchange thing :) Have you got a dream you'd fight for until the end?.. Well this is mine and there's no way in hell that I'd give it up for anyone. I really don't know where these thoughts came from... they just plopped up right out of the blue.. *Jaja..* I guess I'll take off now. *hejdåå*

Yestoday.

It's strange how I only seem to find enough strenght to blog every other day nowdays... So once again I'll go through yesterdays happenings. To make the whole day "short" I got my left hand filled with drugs and punction marks ~.~ nah.. not really. I only recieved the Twinrix (Hepatit A & B) injection and the TBC (tuberculosis) test... not such a big deal.. The weather has been incredibly nice.. I've felt much more energized than before.. hmm.. I'll try to come up with something to write about... Yeah... It's nice to have a blog, you know that?.. It's like a place where you're allowed to be compeletely selfish and no one will complain, you don't have to write about anything else than your own thoughts and feelings and if someone doesn't like the thought of you being selfish, then they simply just don't have to read what you're writing, right? so simple... Today we had an outgoing to the theatre from the school... Can you guess the name of the performance we watched?.. "Love the condom"... -.-'' yeah... #no comments on that one# Acctually it wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be.. funny and realistic, but still partly boring and somewhat... annoying?.. First we watched the movie "Juno", then "Patrik 1,5" and now this... Somehow I can't help but to get the feeling that the teachers are trying to send a subconcious message to all the students "don't have sex without a condom, or else you'll end up like Juno" and "gay people are just like straight people, they too deserve to get a family" (or something like that), it's true, gays, lesbians,bisexuals or whatever they may be, everyone deserves and has the full right to a family. This is what I think. I have to write an a-4 sized argument paper for tomorrow and I also have a test on the homework in English tomorrow morning... So I think I'll start writing on something.. maybe "gay peoples right to marriage"... that sounds nice.. JaaNee*..

QuEsTiOnS

"Why help, and still never be helped? Why dry their tears, when your tears will never become visible for them? Why remember, and yet still always be forgotten? Why all this?" I thought this poem was nice, so I decided to post it. What do you think? Does it evoke any special thoughts inside of you? If so I'd like to know, because this poem caused me to think a lot about all kinds of stuff.
Yesterday when I finally got home after work, the time was around 2.45 am. Oh god I was happy to have survived that night ^.^'' Can you imagine serving floorball players (incredibly childish ones) all night, like dragging around their stuff from the wardrobe to the desk and back, nonstop -.-''. This was generally what I did for eight hours... Not so nice ~.~ But you got to do, what you got to do, right?
Today I began to sew on a pair of trousers in the handicraft, the fabric is so pretty (Burberry, I think it was). I hope that I'll manage to finish them before the An Cafe concert, I'd like to wear them there ^^ By the way, today my cousine will leave off to London for a week... gosh I'd so want to go with her.. Can you imagine, all the skyscrapers, shops and generally the greatness of such an enormous town.? Incredible... Well I'll just concentrate on the trip to Germany and the year in Japan... My handicraft teacher asked me about the year aboard, today... I was acctually a bit surprised that she knew about it... She told me that she'd heard someone mention it... I wonder who it was... Beacause I'd like that person to stop it... It's somewhat embarrasing when people suddenly show up start askin things about it, then they're like "oh.. you're so brave" and stuff like that -.- yeah yeah... Now I'll leave this cold room of mine.. and maybe I'll write something tomorrow... BaIbAi

Hello World

I woke up about two hours ago.. It's a bit lonely here when brother isn't home (he's staying at his partners place for a week).. but at the same time it's somewhat nice... I went to the store to byu food (the refrigerator screams of emptiness).. well because I'm not hungry at all I ended up buying two bags of toffees and a magazine instead ^^''.. I wish I would find a nice boyfriend too, one that would care for and look after me... maybe I have a bit too high demands.. XP There's no such guy in our society. Lucky brother.. Change of subject! Today the real Provincia Midnight Cup events will begin. This means that I'll have a bit more work to do than yesterday. We have our first assembly for the day at 5.30 pm. After this well start throwing out people that hasn't got an orange bracelet thing (you get one when you pay the admission fee). I don't really look forvards to the work.. dunno' why... I just haven't been feeling that well for the past three days... Hopefully I won't start vomiting again ^-^ By the way, I was at the school doctor yesterday, he filled the papers for me and fixed me the hepatit A & B medicine. I'll get it injected next Tuesday. I also got the appointment for the tuberculosis test for next Tuesday. Now I'll just have to refine my personal letter and make the picture pages. Then I can send the papers over to Explorius :) I feel somewhat happy for this... When this is all done, I can finally compeletly concentrate in school :D haa... Now I'll go and get a shower, so that my colleagues won't have to keep their breath's every time I enter the room ^^ yeah.. that was a lame joke.. then.. I'm off.

疲れる

Hello. I just came back home (to my brother's place) from work and I'm so tired (as the title says). As you propably know, I was working at the Provincia. Today was pretty boring, because we only sat behind the information counter... We did this for four long hours, I can honestly say that I'd rather not do it again. I don't have anything else to write about... maybe I'll come up with something later... see you.

Ohisashiburi

I haven't wrote anything in a while as you propably have notised. I just can't seem to have enough time to do something as simple as this.. hmm.. I'll do a short summary of the past week just to up-date you a bit... Monday- we remained at school (after the classes of the day had ended), to work on a banderole for the rock concert that was about to come (the next day). After we finished the streamer, I left for the gym. Where I work out to strenghten my back muscles... I also run alot... it's nice to be able to run away from all your worries, even if it only lasts for a few minutes it's somewhat liberating. This time I ran a bit over 7 km, it took me approximately twentyfive minutes. Haa.. it felt so good ^^ Well then.. Tuesday- Today was the (not so) "big day". We had our schools rock concert... Damn we were so good... Pucca-chan and Lisa-chan both sang solo songs... Believe me when I'm saying that these two are future celebritys´.. and they're both good friends of mine ^^ I'm so proud of them.. hehe (sounds like a mother). That was about everything... I think..
I (and Lisa-chan) will be working from Friday to Saturday/Sunday night (not nonstop of course.. but many hours and late into the night), in a yearly event called "Provincia midnight cup". On Friday there'll only be floorball on the schedule so the day won't be that long, but on Saturday the real event begins, there'll be disco, live bands, movies, the floorball cupfinal and much more. So we'll have our hands full with work.. I hope it'll be fun :).. Well now I'll study for the physics test that I'm supposed to do tomorrow. ByE~

What a day ~-~

To begin with I want to thank Madeleine for the film suggestions, I've seen the others but 'Härmed förklarar jag er Chuck och Larry' is a movie I've never even heard of, so I think I'll check it out sometime, thanks´.
My day has been compeletly hidious. I woke up at twelve o´clock with a horrible headache and when I finally managed to drag myself downstairs, mum' stood there with the vacuum cleaner and told me to start tiding up the place... I really hate cleaning... After that we had a birthday party to attend to. It was my fathers´sisters housband who reached the age of 40. heh.. that guy has a sick sense of humour, he came up to me and asked "have you tasted that yet *pointing towards a can with an skull on (contained some kind of alcohol drink)*... not? you should, it's some good stuff" he said with a laughter.. then he continued "hey *poking me on the axle* ya' aint' still going to Japan right?" When I told him that I'd be going there in August he was like "those people can't even write! they scribble down those weird pictures instead of letters, just like cavemen!". I know that may have sounded a bit rasistic, but somehow it made me feel at ease and happy. I mean.. He's the first one who hasn't gone like "seriously?! What!?" or "no way!" These reactions are so annoying, everytime I hear them I feel like saying "are ya' stupid or something? I just told ya' that I'm going there, so how many freaking times do I have to repeat it?" but instead I just listen to the stupid questions that follow up "what are you going to do there?", emm.. maybe study? isn't that obvious, dummie. "How are you going to get there?"... Ever heard of an aeroplane? -.- baka. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with asking about stuff concerning my coming year aboard... but isn't it pretty obvious how I'll get there or what I'll be doing there.? So please spare me from these kind of stupid questions.
oh... I slipped from the main subject as usual ^^'' When we left from the party, and entered the car I kind of begun feeling bad. I thought "it's propably because of the cream gâteau I ate". So when we were about one kilometre from home, I asked mum' to pull over so that I could get off the car and walk the rest of the way back home. So she did. It felt great to be jogging, even though the weather was cold, I somewhat felt alive... strange ^^ (off subject again -.-) I jogged home while feeling great, but the feeling didn't last for long. when I entered the house I didn't stop because the bad feeling was back, only this time it was worse, so I ran to the toilet in the basement and vomited... that wasn't nice... not at all... ^-^ I guess my sisters friend who was suffering from stomach disorders gave me it -.-'' evil kid... But fortunately I feel much better now ^^ I was thinking about going to bed early today, so that I wouldn't get such an headache tomorrow again... Should I? or Shouldn't I? Well that's to be seen as the time comes. Goodbye. By the way pardon me for my many spelling mistakes, won't ya'? cya'

New times

Yo´. I just watched an movie named Crows Zero. It was good. I copied the description of movie for you (from mysoju.com), here you go- Takaya Genji just transferred to Suzuran, a high school known for its gang violence. At Suzuran High, hallways are battle zones, bloody brawls are everyday occurrences and student life is dominated by the political winds of the school's many factions. Genji didn't end up here by accident though. He's here to do what even his yakuza father couldn't accomplish years before - rule the school. Already stirring up a storm on the first day, Genji is determined to fight his way up the pecking order and unite the gangs. But not if alpha crow Serizawa Tamao has anything to say about it. - So to make a long story short, Takaya Genji transferres to the school to take over it and there by get the command of his fathers yakuzan group (Japanese mafia) as he has been promised. It's good... much fighting and very bloody.. but still, it's good ^-^
Today Lisa-chan and I were in the town, just hanging out... Somehow it felt really nice. Lately, I don't know why, but we haven't really had any time to talk properly... It's propably because of Chan-chans love life problems ^.^''.. I hope that they're over soon, so that everyone will be happy:) My back hurts´ right now... dunno' why... maybe because of the heavy bag I've been carrying around? Who knows.. sattee.. I guess I'll start watching something new.. Got any suggestions? I'd love to learn about your opinions concerning good movies, so feel free to comment. Well then.. I'm off´´

Sleepy.

It's been three days since my last post. I just can't seem to be able to gather enough streight nor time to drag myself to the computer and write something. *yawn. I've been incredibly tired for the last two days. There's so much to do and so little time to do it... By the way I've watched the movie "Twilight" god damn it, it was so good... And Robert Pattinson... so hot *drools´ XP . I definitly recommend it to everybody. And yeah, I've finished watching Hana Kimi too. It was hilarious, seriously... Such an happy ending ^-^
Today Pucca-chan (my personal camera woman), I, Lisa-chan and... I can't remember what I've called her in my previous posts... so I'll call her.. Birdie-chan, began the filmings for my personal presentation film that'll be sent to Germany. It was fun... even though I totally look like a pig in the camera, it went pretty well... When I grow up I'll get my face re-done with plastic surgery!.. Nah. I'd never do that, ya' know, even though I don't like the fact that my face isn't photographic... It's still me, the me I've always been and will always be... Why would anybody want to change that? Well.. well.. Tomorrow I, Lisa-chan and Chan-chan are going downtown again. This time our plans are just to hang out without any specific reasons... yeah.. Well I'm too lazy to write anything else... so.. G-night people.

Tadaima. Came home a while ago.

I've been to the town with Chan-chan and Lisa-chan. We went to Candy world and the library... Even though it doesn't sound that interesting, it was incredibly fun. Just to be able to spend time with these two people makes me feel so happy. This certainly is the most eventfull year of my life... Or... at least I'll make it to the one.. Sounds lame doesn't it? that I haven't been doing anything up until now. But it's the truth, I've been too swallow´d by the school for these past fifteen years, but now we've decided on passing the last school year together, to study, spend time and generally make great memorys together is our goal... Or at least mine. ^-^ I just read through an old friends blog... That was a pretty harsh comment you left...^^'' (person in matter knows what I mean)... She (old friend) has improved much on controling her emotions... Which I am very glad for, keep it up.. :) Well yeah. I'll go and get something to eat.. Ciii*yaa

Rubbish

Yo. I just woke up. Wich propably is the reason behind my headache... I slept for too long ^^'' Tomorrow it's Monday again,. It feels as if the weeks are just flying by, everything is going too fast. We will watch an movie on first period in school tomorrow... I can't remember the name... But I think that the story was about an gay couple who wants to have a child... or something like that... Well yeah. Yesterday I wrote with an old friend... I don't know why but I just can't help but to feel irritated everytime I chat with her... wich is strange, because I don't usually feel irritated while writing to anyone, not even the most stupid people ~.~ this is confusing. Maybe it's her somewhat disturbing way of clinging onto the past and repeating the same things everytime we chat? Or then on the other hand it can be because of her insensitive way of being...? To be honest I don't have the time to care about things like that. I've been trying to come up with good answers for the incredibly hard questions wich is on the application papers that'll be sent to Japan... For example: how can I describe an normal day in our family, when every day is different? and what goals do I have for my high school studies?/ What do I hope to accomplish? Well I have no clue. So I'll bother myself with these kind of questions for the rest of the week... Beside of that, I have to do a two pages picture gathering with explanations... And the personal letter... That'll be a hard one... Well I'm off to get inspiration from the serie "Hana kimi"... Bye.

Tjoo..

That is how I like to greet my friends at school. Weird, I know. I haven't been on the computer for a whole week... What a scandal. My mind has been occupied with so many different kind of confusing thoughts and I haven't had the time to write them down, very agonizing. A lot has happened during this week. We've had two national tests in the Swedish language. The fire alarm in school went on so that we had to evacuate the building and stand outside of it in the freezing cold snow storm for over a half an hour... I think. I have also been down town shopping with Chan-chan and Lisa-chan (after that we had a movie night at my place)... And I have scolded an childhood "friend" of mine... He has been behaving totally insolently... Making Chan-chan feel that bad... I can't stand the mere existence of him anymore.. to make her suffer that much... Unforgivable... If Chan-chan hadn't told me not to, I would already have hurt him... really badly.. But yeah... Unfortunately I'm not allowed to do it.. Lately I've been thinking a bit too much about everything...like the question - how am I going to survive?. Bakana.. to think about stuff like that... really, shirumo ka. -.-'' I don't know why, but I've been feeling very restless.. as if I'd like to acieve something much greater than I have. Strange... Today I looked up some new phrases in Japanese, this time it was things like"shirumo ka" as I wrote earlier (meaning-"who cares") and "monku iuna" (stop complaining) etc.
Have you ever watched a movie named Pride and Prejudice? It is the best movie I've ever seen, seriously. It's... perfect? I can't find any better word to describe it... you just have to watch it for yourself to understand. haa.. I'd like to be as pretty as Keira Knightley... *day-dreaming... Yeah. Sorry, I didn't have anything better to write about today. Hopefully I'll come up with something that is worth reading next time. Matane'

Nante subarashii otenki desho!

Today is the first day of February. And all I can say is wow... The weather would be perfect for skiing or jigging. Haa.. I feel so happy ^-^ By the way, sorry for the freaky post last night... I got a bit too absent-minded, so I didn't really watch out for what I was writing ~.~ Sumimasen...
eheeh.. I just asked my Mum' and lil'sis "if they would get the chance to choose any kind of superpower in the world, what would they choose?" Mother didn't know, but my sister answered right away "I want to be like Spiderman! To shoot spider's webb and fly through the sky!"... The movie they're watching right now propably mattered her answer a bit... Spiderman 3.. -.-
What kind of power would you choose? If I'd have the chance to pick one then... I'd want to have the ability to understand everyone, so that I'd be able to make them happy. Wouldn't it be nice to understand how everybody feels inside... To see when they feel bad, so that they wouldn't be forced to suffer alone.. yupp... that's that.
I'm searching for a new drama to watch now that Gokusen's ended. I just can't seem to find any good ones -~- Well I'm off ''BaiBai''