Fed up with Ham :P

We wish you a Merry Christmas~ We wish you a Merry Christmas~ We wish you a Merry Christmas~ and a happy New Year! (^o^)/:. I'm soooo psyched up for New Year! (not the actual year, but the Eve ;D).Christmas Eve was awesome! I didn't recall Christmas being so nice! I worked on my assignments most of the day, but just the fact that everybody were gathered for the same purpose at the grandparent's place, was very sweet. It felt so cozy... this traditional yearly event^^ Okay, I have to admit that it'd been pretty sour if it weren't for a certain uncle Linus (just a nickname xD)who kept me company through the entire day (and coming night) ^^ --> cellphone :D Speaking of which! I finally got a new cellphone!! :3 (my old one broke down a while ago, and I've been using a crappy piece of shit ever since then >.>). It's soooo~ nice! Love it <3 Even though it's not one of these fancy new touch screen thingys´:P I also (to my boyfriend's and... pretty much all of my friend's joy) got all the Twilight books and movies in English for Christmas present (an Eclipse soundtrack CD too!) xD Wool socks from my cousin, ten packs of pockys´ from sweetheart,Ulquiorra<3 poster--> Uncle Linus, Cellphone-> parents´, some household stuff and so on :3 Perfect is all I can say :D
It feels so strange... Two really good friends of mine are getting married this coming year... And for one of them I'll even be the bridesmaid ^^ (okay, the other one's a guy... me as a bestman? Maybe not xD). Also, my uncle's getting married in January too... I don't know, marriage just seems so out of reach for me... I've finally found someone whom I seriously love and want to spend every second of the day with, but the thought of marriage just hasn't crossed my mind :o Though, I've really began to anticipate the school ball! :3 I want to wear a beautiful dress and walk hand in hand with the most handsome man~* And later on, PARTY!!! xD nah, just joking~ ooor? ;D noo... For marriage there's just too much required, much that I do not have...
Well I'm off skyping with Uncle Linus~ Bye~ :D

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed.

Someone once told me to prioritize my life, freedom- or the glory of a high education... If there was to come a day when these two paths would separate, would I then be brave enough to choose the one I really yearn for? Though, would it really be courage, or just mere foolishness?
Would I be a fool to do as I so much yearn for: apply for a spot at a local shop of some sort and just live for the moment, or should I- against my inner wishes- carry through with the education, in the hope of something greater... Something to be proud of?.. *A glorious but lonely life?* Isn't that what it all is about in the end? Become a "pro", and forget the wish for having a real family, a happy relationship? I mean, look at them all, world wide known surgeons, lawyers, professors... all alone, almost every single one of them. Loneliness indeed is very frightening... No matter which path you choose to follow, you're brave huh?
''Is it your life or everyone else's?'' Is another question he posed. It is true, thus I had never before thought about this, as Ghandi once said: "A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble" - This is what I've been doing all my life, uttered "yes" in order to avoid conflicts with others. But, if I keep on bending and shaping myself into everyone else's molds, what will my life turn out like? Good question ne :o
Well, for all I know, I'm loosing the hold of my reality, my structure, and my security. But it feels good, "the bubble which I once created around of me, has now burst, and left me in this whole new world which I cannot wait to explore". :) "the world of an almost adult" ;D Well, well, we'll see what this life eventually has to offer me ^^ Good Night peeps´~

These endless beginnings

Long time no see, huh... Let's see if I'll manage to pull off a post worth reading now that I finally, for the first time since returning to Sweden, am going to try start blogging again.
I've been back in Sweden for the last..4? or is it already 5 months? I've moved out into an own apartment in a new town (due to school). I am currently attending the IB policy at upper secondary school, and am one year older than everyone else there.
There we go, a brief explanation on how my life's been... What more is there to say? The return from Japan was excruciating. For weeks and weeks I felt down, and my social life seemed to have completly died away (not until recently did I managed to begin the emprovements concerning this matter).
I love to live alone in an own apartment :) I love my new classmates (couldn't have hoped for better ones), and I just love to be able to attend a school where I actually learn something. These are my "3 loves" in this, yet again, so new life of mine. Sorry, can't come up with anything better to write about~ :P
My brain's stopped to work for the moment... Maybe I should just give up for now, and go to bed >.>
Spokoinoi nochi~ <3 ^^
Ps. I'll be back in a matter of time for a second round! (just to actually write something worth reading ^^") You just wait and see what I come up with :3 Ds.

Last post from home

That's what this "the last post from my home"... It's impossible to explain how bad it feels to even think about it... I'll be on an airplane back to Sweden at this time in not even 3 days... I don't want to lose my home (;_;) And the worst part, leave Yuuki here >.< I seriously feel like vomiting by the thought of that >x<
Did I already tell you that I got accepted into the school which I applied for (in Sweden) again ;P So I'll be moving the first of August, to an own apartment. Well, I guess it's better that way... I've kind of got used to handling everything by myself so... ^^ I'm looking forwards to furnish the apartment :D
Tomorrow I'll meet Yuuki (just the 2 of us) for the last time this year. He's determined on coming to Sweden in March 2011 though ^-^ I love him <3
So, when I get back it'll be: hospital visits, dentist, hairdresser, shopping (need new clothes->old ones are way too big) etc.
Now I'll eat and continue playing with my dear little brother <3
==>forgot to actually publish this yesterday xD
Byebye～次のはスウェーデンで､だねー

-286 +22 -6160

久しぶりな～あんまりやる気がないと別に何も､特別な事してないからブログに書くの方がちょっとめんどくさいになった=.="エヘへ･･文法が全部間違っているでしょう？xDまぁ…仕方ないな～バカしー勉強もしないしー;P 今から英語で!!
Again, a very long time has passed since the last time I updated this blog... a month? :O
You know what they say "Time flies by". Which it in this case, does way too fast! >.< When I check my cellphone`s date counter... It tells me, I've lived for 6160 days, so far been in Japan, for 286 and only have 22 days left :(
Well, gotta' make the best out of these last 3 weeks ^.^
Hmm... What's been happening lately?... I've been to Japans` highest mountain "Fujisan" (Mt.Fuji). We "climbed" halfways up it (by car ;D). It was absolutely beatiful! Seriously. The wiew, everything, so amazing >.< I've also been to a... adventure zoo? One of those you drive around with a car in :D I saw a live zebra for the first time in my life! (I think)... When we returned from the trip, I got sick, with the flue (vomited and had bad diarrhea for two days). But despite of that I still went to school (on the third day), to participate in the "undoukai" aka. "sports festival". It was great! Even though I felt like puking most of the time, it was so much fun! ^^
Oh yeah... I forgot! It's been a while since I last wrote, so our classes in school has changed. Nowadays I'm in class 201, (student)number 31. My new class is perfect! I love it :) The people I hang out with are called Mai and Yuuri =3 You could almost call them something like "best friends" or likewise(^o^)☆♡ I wish I'd be able to graduate with those two (^3^)～♡☆
I completely lost the thread while watching "the differences between gaijins (non Japanese) and Japanese people"... It's reeeally funny! xD And everything's so true!! ahahaaa... Like "Japanese women are angels until you marry one of them" ^^" 面白かった~
By the way! Today has been the most warm day so far ^o^ 29 degrees Celcius, in the shadows :3 超熱かったなぁー Tomorrow I'm going to Enoshima with Yuu-chan and the day after tomorrow, to Hase (tea-club). I'm so looking forwards to it! ^^

Then Byebye～
Take care peeps'!
(Btw, sry 4 this lousy English >.> Can't help it ne)

2月10日

Yes... That is the amount of time that I still have left here... Until this new life of mine once again falls apart and, the old one has to be recreated in Sweden. Makes me sad... Well... I kind of miss the candies and hamburgers in Sweden (that's all though :P). But, guess I'll have to stop by there and finish the upper secondary school and, after that try to get a transferred to some university here in Japan ^-^
Or just take the easy way out: Marry Yuu-chan xD Btw. I met his mother a few weeks ago ~-~ God it was scary, but seems like I wasn't such a huge failure because, she told him to marry me =.= (after they'd got back home though). Hehe... No, I think I'll stick to the University plan :3
Lately I've got addicted to this drama named "Nodame Cantabile". Every time I'm watching it I, get this urge to start playing piano again ^^"
I've already god a huge pile of plans to follow through when I get back to Sweden. One of them includes the part of picking up the piano playing again. I've figured that I'd like to improve my cooking skills too and, also try shorten the time until my graduation from the upper secondary school (which normally would be after the period of 3 years time)... Maybe if evening school would be possible... And also the fact that I have to find a part time job, too... Well, everything will have to wait until I get back. Now I'll just concentrate on the present which, includes 7 new exchange students in the school and a class full of completely new people :D I'll miss the old ones though. :/
I didn't have any special reason or anything to write. Just thought that it'd be nice with a post now that the month once again changed :)
Oh yeah! I almost forgot! The sakura trees are blooming now! :D They're absolutely gorgeous! But I have to admit that I prefer the Ume treas (simple but pretty).
That's all for now on! さようなら～

写真

So how do you like the new font picture of my blog? :3 Took it in Enoshima where me and Yuu were spending our day (2 months ago). Unfortunately there was a lot of clouds so I didn't get a clear picture of Mt.Fuji :/
By the way! I dyed my hair yesterday.. Now it's kind of mocha colored (cold) ^^



Sorry... I don't know how to turn the pictures >.<


This is a picture taken outside of our school (by me too)



And as an ending we have a picture with a bowl of RAMEN!! =3

Baibai～

三月の風に～

Samishii～ So lonely～ Wish there was something to do or someone to talk to... My brother just left for school (evening student). So I'm completely alone in the house again (if you don't count the pets, even they seem sad).
Hmm.. thought I'd pour my depressing thoughts into this very own little site of misery ;P Where to start, where to start... This day, as yesterday, was happenings less. I went to the station area in the intention of buying a pair of new shoes, but ended up with a pair of phone straps to my brother and cousin =.=" That's so me... always buying stuff for someone else o(_ _)o I need to get a grip -.-"
Anyways I've been a bit down lately... Okay, the truth, I've been really pissed off lately at a dude who people know as my boyfriend* Because I haven't seen that little piece of・・ In over a month now. Because of his tests (reserve spaces -all- at first tries) he's always busy studying. I understand that it is really important for him to pass his exams and enter a good university, but dude, studying 10h/day doesn't make the info stick to your brain better than 4hrs would do. And the thing is that he keeps on about how he wants to meet me soon etc. Well, if he'd want that much enough, I'm sure that a days' break wouldn't hurt -.-* Always the same thing over and over againね... Never ever a 3rd year student... That's my best advice for you. God, I hate people who don't have time >.<
Oh' I just remembered that my exams are coming up soon too =O The first one's (Japanese) now on Friday xS Damn' need to start studying""
Yuh' I know, this post was a complete waste of time for you to read, but gotta' take out my bad"フインキ"somewhere ;) Didn't help a lot though xP Now I'm off watching movies on youtube (actually music vids' but..=P) バイバイ～

マック

A moment ago I actually thought that I'd have something to write about... But then it all kind of slipped off my mind ~.~ So now I'm just typing down everything that comes up into this yet again so blurry mind of mine. x.x hmm... Today... Today I've been around everywhere with Amabi. We met in Oofuna, from where on we proceeded into a train to Atami, but got out at Odawara to buy some snacks :3 We're both in a kind of pinch when it comes to money >.< because our monthly teeki train tickets requires two thirds of the monthly income (which our parents sometimes decides to donate for us). So this is a nice way of spending the day without having to pay anything^^

After our little trip, we finally decided to get out at Fujisawa, where we both agreed on going to a Mac Donalds, and eat the new "New York" burger. But as it turned out for our disappointment, they didn't make them anywhere anymore (reason-Unknown). So when we defeated by the evil staff of Mac Cafe, decided to retire to our usual place close to the station (normal McDonalds), we found Yuu-chan sitting there :D すごく嬉しかった^^ He had just finished his third university exams, after which he'd decided to (as always) dine at the usual place :)... He's lost a lot of weight since I last saw him.. :'/ I think the stress is getting up on him... Yeah, usually you'd think that it isn't that bad to lose weight, but now he's around mere 45kilograms x( Can't help but to worry for him :( Luckily the exams will be over after the 15:th of this month... Maybe he'll recover a bit after that...
In the mere time of 2 weeks I've managed to almost read out half of the English books which can be found in our school library -_-" That will say, half of the Harry Potter books... (Now at the end of the fifth one =.=). Well... It's better than not doing anything during the classes... God, school is boring! xS It doesn't help a bit that my English teacher (horrible hag) seems to think that I'm isolated and don't try to get along with my classmates -.- (that's at least what she told me). Because I didn't give her an enough satisfying response (as it seemed) she had the guts to go and ask Amabi if I've got problems back at home or anything (not out of worry, but plain curiosity). Well, as it turned out, Amabi had scolded her for accusing me of not trying enough and stuff... In the end the teacher had been in a slight state of shock and looked fairly regretful over her actions :3 whee... What'd I do without Amabi ^^
Hmm... Otherwise this life of mine here in Japan has been pretty happening less. Been talking to the biological mum', she's sent the applications an' all for my school back in Sweden. As it seems like, I'll have to move right away as I return... Well, kinda' makes me happy to think about the completely fresh start that I'll receive once again... though the thought of having to build up a new life again, just after a year, is pretty tiring... Confusing ne~
Now I'll try to sneak off to bed!! Tomorrow going out with Amabi again! ^^ Sweet dreams~

神様へ！お誕生日おめでとう！

Here I am again. Finally maybe picking up on the blogging again? Who knows... If only time and space alows me then maybe I can write some uninportant things here every day ;3 Today was Kami-samas 19:th birthday! Omedetou!! We celebrated this by going to Akihabara and blowing up all of our money on traintickets x.x (they cost us a fortune!). Btw. "we" were; Amabi, Kamisama, Yuu chan and me. I enjoyed it a lot, even though I perfer the "a bit" less crowded parts of Tokyo. Well you know what they say "good company makes the day" or "it's not the place, but who you're with, that decides whether you want to be there or not"... Can't remember the shorter version of that later one =P I met some new people today again (through my host family). There's this one question that always comes up... and I never know the answer... "Why did you come to Japan?". To be honest, I have no idea. Or that was what I thought until a few moments ago... When I once again in the boredom of not having anyone to talk with, was watching movies on youtube, the truth kind of tissled into my mind... I came here to fall in love. That's the thing that I've always, through my entire life been searching for. In the animes, mangas, dramas - everywhere. The hope of finding something small to hold on to, a little hint or a nice smile, that would make me feel important for some reason... All, worlds filled with different kinds of love. Sadly enough, that's a truth that people usually don't want to hear if they ask you such a question. The perfect answer would be that the culture which has a firm mixture of past and present and the language whichs origins no one knows about are so mysterious and captivating, that you just had to come to the place where this is all from. Or something like that >.> Right now the time here is 1.27 AM. I've began concidering that the fact of going to bed might not be as a horrible thing to do. Seems like my Englis's getting completly whacked up... I'll stop this excursiating failure of trying to bring a bit clearness into this blurry mind of mine and go to bed~お休み～

01/01-10 .Ready for life.

Even though the New Years Eve passed by sleeping in my bed (with a fever). It was something that I'd never experienced before. It was so boring xP No, it actually wasn't the Eve that was something new, but the morning that followed. Exactly at the second of New Year, the bells in the temple (that lies right beside of our house) began to ring. The deep sounds of the huge bells kept on through the whole night (which sort of creaped me out and made it difficult for me to sleep xS). When I woke up at 6 o'clock in the morning, it was still dark (and my brother with his friends were still awake). But after I got out from the bath and went up to my room, I could see how the first strips of sunshine creaped in between the shut curtains and out on my carpet. When I then hurried to pull the curtains to the sides, a flow of golden light washed over me and filled the room with a magical glow. Glancing out of the window I felt something peaceful fill me up from inside. This was when I noticed the stillness that had took over the whole city. After I got out of the house, I came to the conclucion that this had to be one of the most cold mornings so far, but yet, even despite of the flesh freezing cold I felt warm and ready to face the new experiences that this new year is to bring with it. ~