Why are we like this?

What is this feeling of hollowness?... I kind of feel sick... like I'm losing the hope in humanes. I just finished watching an movie... I propably shouldn't have watched... Battle Royale 1 (R)... So screwed... How can anybody come up with an script for such a hideous a movie?... It's horrible what a person is willing to do to their belowed friends just to spare their own lifes... Humanes really are the worst, a bunch of filth on the Earths´ surface... Why do we even exist? This kind of dominant, horrible, selfish things, with twisted minds that only prevails and hurts´ others... A rotten specie... that is what we humanes are... Unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it... We put ourselfs´abowe other animals and think that we're better than them.. But is that really true? No other animals kill eacother for fun or for something they "believe" in... Isn't that too something that humanes have created that is bad... something to believe in.. fuzakena... There is no God, that's what I "believe"... No way in hell that some kind of living (or what you call Gods existing) thing would've been able to create a planet where some "animals" as we call them, could live in... I mean, "God created the Earth in seven days".. useru.. man.. as if anything like that'd ever happen. That movie really made me feel uncomfortable... it brought up many negative thoughts and memories... Even with these thoughts I'd never be able to kill anyone...
Some memories that suddenly came to my mind... I don't know why... Propably because it really pisses me off to think about them... Maybe I'll tell you... Okay.. the first one that came into my mind was this one time when I was younger.., I had stayed up late into the night working on this drawing to make it look perfect for the person I was going to give it to. She was an important friend who was to move away in a short period of time. So when I gave it to her she smiled in a smirk kind of way and said "What a nice outline" oh I got so mad... hehe... believe me or not, I can get mad... Even if Chan-chan says that it's not possible for me ^^'' , the second negative memory that came up into my mind... was made by the same person as the first one.. This time she showed me some drawings that she'd made and of course I'd say "wow" and "how pretty", when she'd showed me them all she came up with such a nasty comment like "I bet you wish that you were as good at drawing as I am" that totally pissed me off, so I replied "No I don't, I perfer my way of drawing"... The fact that she didn't even notise me being angry made me even more pissed off. Selfish... I hate selfish people... Or maybe not hate.. too troublesome... Why is it so tiring to hate something?.. I've tried to hate many persons´, but it's just impossible... I can never hold a grudge for too long, because it's so tiring... When you hate someone, you just end up hurting yourself, isn't that right?.. So complicated...
I wonder.. Maybe I should go and get some rest and clear my head... It's too filled with rubbish right now... Got'ta be positive... That's my goal for tomorrow... Ja Mata Ne.