Promise.

So... It's year 2009... Feels as if my life have just begun... What have I been doing these fifteen years?
The New Years Eve was incredibly fun. This was the first time ever that I had felt at ease with that many unknown people^-^
We sang, played games and had generally fun. When the clock struck 12, we toasted with Pommac (a soda drink that doesn't taste good). Before that we told our New Years Promises, I didn't make a serious one... At least I didn't tell about it to the others... I told them that I'd definitly make it into the IB-policy... But the promise I made for myself was *to work as hard as I can to secure my future and make my dreams come true.* Lame... I know, but at least it's a promise that I'll somewhat be able to keep.
Yesterday I sent my applications to Yfu and Explorius. Wonder how the outcome of this will look like...? If I don't get accepted to the exchange programme it'll be a great dissapointment. But life will eventually go on... Still, I hope for the best.
I've began to get confused. What will I do if I don't get into the IB policy? And how will I make through the dissapointment if I don't get accepted to the year in Japan? These two questions have been bothering me for quite a while now. I don't have any other plans or dreams for my future than them... I mean... What will I do? I want to become an English teacher, but it'll be too hard in a normal policy. I want to experience the daily life of a normal Japanese high schooler... Okay.. I'll never be able to experience it to the full leight... I have blonde hair, blue eyes and can't speak the language... but still... Will anything of this ever happen? Gah. I've got to pull myself together.
No regrets... That's my motto... I think. If you don't try you'll never find out...
In the future, maybe I can get a education that'll allow me to travel a lot, or I'll just move to Japan and start a fully new life without any obstacles. Maybe I could make a successful career there? Who knows. At least one thing's for sure, I'll definetly make it there some day.
Now to the main reason why I began to write this post. When I've been watching these Japanese drama series, I can't find the joy in my own life, nothing ever happenes, I have many great friends, but we never spend any time with each other outside of the school. It's as if everybody's living in these small bubbles that no one's allowed to enter nor burst. I wonder how a "normal" teenagers life is like... How does it feel to fall in love with someone? Yes. Many questions and twice as many answers...
If you find a ansver to these questions, please tell me. Take care of yourself and remember that life will go on even if it sometimes feels like it wouldn't. So don't dwell in sadness nor dissapointment, instead begin the search for a new dream or a real reason to live for. You just have to believe in yourself and soon you'll see that everything will eventually work out.