I was dreaming of a white christmas... That was left to be a mere dream though.

Fever, Ophthalmia, soar throat and headache. Merry christmas to you too^^ no, seriously. Even though I've been sick for months now I have to admit that this christmas has been the best so far. To spend this much time with my sweetheart is something a religious person would call a "bliss". Can't remember the last time that I've felt this pleased with my life. Nor can I remember the last time that I've felt this annoying towards someone else... Poor honey, I'm very convinced that he'll want to break up with me after these three weeks are over xD at least I would if I were in his seat. After the christmas holidays are over I'll be heading straight off to work. Remember the daycare where I was doing my APL? Well, that's where I'll be spending three days a week instead of normal school :) hopefully it'll work out better than school's done so far. Now I'm off to the kitchen! Coffee time~ <3

Stressful >.>

This headache it won't go away!!! It feels as if my head would crack at any moment now >.< I've been having this ache for weeks now... Wonder why... Could it be the stress that's getting to me? Or is it all the drama around me which honestly is making me want to bang my head into the wall until unconsciousness -.-
Otherwise too, my week so far has been shit =.= Oh... and now it's already this late! GOD! GIVE ME A BREAK!! I won't get enough sleep tonight either... great...
Well, I'm off to bed now. Goodnight~

Slightly Morbid, or?

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused~
Wonder which one I would be? The abused or the abuser?
It's kind of funny, when listening to Marilyn Manson my train of thoughts becomes very odd in a weird way. It feels as if the lurking sick side of me creeps up. Like, just a moment ago I got the idea of watching Human centipede II just for the laughs. Normal people don't laugh to those kind of movies, or do they? How should I know :P The people around me are normal.. for me... The people who are alike me...
When thinking of it, "sick" is an expression I often get to hear from friends and random people.. Though, according to me "sick" is a slight exaggeration. It's a very strong word... I'd actually prefer "morbid" in that case. Well, people calling me sick aren't that much off track either, to be honest :P Now it's movie time!! Bye~

You make my life bright, shine up my days with incomparable light.

When I think of you, I can't help but to smile.
Your face so clear in my mind.
Being apart doesn't matter as long as it's just for a while.
Because I know that there's only one of your kind.
That smile so sweet, makes even sugar feel sour.
Those eyes that shimmer, like the ocean they make you drown.
All this makes me love you more and more for every passing hour.
Your hair so smooth and brown.
You hate, but I love to run my fingers through.
To be able to have you close by, to feel your presence.
Even if these moments are few.
They are all small pieces of heaven, like rare small crescents.
Handed out to the lucky ones as presents.
For me there's only You.
You make my life bright, shine up my days with incomparable light<3

School~

I've been sitting at the cafe since half past eight this morning, doing research on criminal gangs in Sweden... But some why I can't bring myself to carry on the studies anymore. I feel so bored and tired! Maybe I should drag myself to school or something? Though, my class doesn't begin for another two hours... What should I do!!??? I would go Christmas shopping if the computer hadn't weighted a ton... I dunno... I'm even too lazy to write anything here!... I'm off-.- Bye~

Hero of a sad story

A hero of war, is that what they see? Just medals and scars, so damn proud of me. I brought home that flag, now it gathers dust... When I look back at my time in Japan this is pretty much what it feels like. A highly prestigious teenager whom everyone's so damn proud of.. Scars for life and a language certificate - is everything I got... When thinking back, was the trip really that necessary? Or did it make me into whom I am today? If I had not went there would my life be any better? Or would it be worse? Would I even be alive today? All I know is that this would've been my last year of school... Such a wonderful thought... No more school! Well, hopefully I'll be accepted for the apprenticeship program, so that I can work instead of attending school.
My thoughts are such a mess!! I can't make any sense out of them at all! Maybe I should go to bed and ponder about everything? Though if so, I'll have to wait for quite a while... Once again the apartment is crowded with guys, everyone occupying the bed -.- I think I'll scrap that idea :P
Bye~

Drama...

Lately my whole life's been surrounded by endless (unnecessary) drama. It's like sweetheart expressed it "an OC drama"... People hurting each other, themselves, and everyone around them. For no good reasons at all... Is it too much to demand when asking for a quiet life? A normal life? It's so incredibly tiring when nobody can control their feelings, nor keep their thoughts for themselves...
Luckily I've got my drama-free zone called 'honey'<3 with this wonderful being I can breathe freely and take a break from all the pointless fighting around me, I can feel free... With him there's just We. A bearable, even enjoyable, life<3 I love him so<3 bye~

Wieeee!!

What a beautiful day :D Seriously the weather's been nice, sunny, with a clear sky and slightly chilly breezes. AND! I woke up with sweetheart at my side. His slightly drowsy eyes looking at me while fumbling after his shirt, so cute <3
Yesterday I was invited to have dinner and sleep over at his parent's place, so I had the chance to meet his entire family while enjoying the most delicious three-course meal ever (cooked by the father^^). Such a lovely bunch of people<3 I had a really nice time there! Unfortunately, grown-ups have jobs and students don't, so I had to part from my hard working boyfriend after two hours or so<3
After doing this I've been hyper-actively flying all over the place. Unable to sit still or stop talking. Feel a bit sorry for my little roomie though, she's been forced to stand this for hours now! hihi... Who knows, maybe I'll meet my honey tomorrow again<3 :D
That was about everything I had to say for this time now resume watching Dreamer! Bye~

An obscure feeling of sorrow...

An unfamiliar feeling of obscure sorrow is lurking at the back of my mind... But why? All day long I've been happy, almost too happy. And now suddenly everything just took a rapid turn. I honestly feel like crying... Though, with no reasons at all? What's this supposed to be?.. ugh... so frustrating >.<
In the morning me and my roomie went to the hospital (just for a normal check up), after that was dinner at the local upper secondary school, Christmas shopping (a little bit early out, I know but still) and suddenly my mood just sank. I've tried to, but can't figure out the reason for this!! It's driving me mad!!
Well, whatever, can't do anything about it so :P I've been longing to see this movie called "Trust", according to my sweetheart it's an emotional story worth watching, and I guess that a rush of emotions wouldn't do me bad in my current state... We'll see if I can convince my little roomie to watch it together with me :)
Now I'll occupy my thoughts with a trailer from this movie! Bye~

Life at its best :)

It should be illegal to be as happy as I'm at the moment! The feeling is so overwhelming... Unable to stop smiling all the time, yet unable to stop worrying all the time. So confusing but still so wonderful! I don't know what to do with these abundant feelings >.< any good ideas? ^^"
Yesterday was one of the most perfect days of my life. I finally got to meet my swetheart again<3 A cozy evening with take out food, a good movie and my wonderful boyfriend :D What more can you ask for?
This evening though, will be spent in the company of my sweet roomie and a good friend :) watching movies (including "My sister's keeper") and just generally hanging out^^
Anyways, I'm off to the kitchen now! Maybe I'll grab a bite or something~ Bye<3