Akemashite omedetou gozaimasu.

Happy New Year! Today's the long awaited last day of the year. Arienaihodo... When I look back now, it's almost unbelievable. The year's passed so fast that I really don't have any memoirs of it... Weird.. There's a horrible weather outside right now. The wind is blowing and it's freezing cold. It's too dangerous to shoot fireworks in this kind of weather. What a lame New Years Eve... As I've told you before, I'm gounna sleep over at a friends place. I hope that everyone will make it there, because every single bus that runs alongsides the coast is disconnected. The wind is too strong... This is acctually the first New Years Eve that I'll be spending with my friends... I hope It'll be fun. Last night was exactly as the ones before. I wasn't able to sleep before a little past 7.am... But one thing was different. I slept more than three hours. I woke up when my cousine called me (1.pm), she was like *You sound tired... Tell me that I didn't just wake you up... -.-* "Ehehee... Yeah" was the only answer I could come up with...
By the way. I notised that the time the computer sets on the posts are wrong. The computers clock is set in summer time, but now it's winter so the time really is a hour earlier... Ehmm.. I hope you understand what I mean... emm right now the time is 16:20, not 15:20...
The drama serie has come to the point where everyone is afraid of the head bully, and her friends is starting to transfer schools... Yeah.. I'll explain later! Now I've gotta' go and pack my stuff for the evening! Saioynara!

Real "Life".

Yet another sleepless night. This is the sixth one in a row, I haven't been able to sleep before 6:am on the earlier five, so I guess it's going to be like this tonight too. My voice has returned and I'm fully recovered from my flue. Due to the boring atmosphere, I've begun to watch a new Japanese drama Tv serie. This time it's a drama called "Life". It's horrible what a person can do to another, specially the girls. Instead of using violence, they use much more hurtful methods, like excluding and words... Words are one of the most horrible ways to be harrashed with... This is a matter that boys often doesn't understand, how it can be so frightening to be called a slut or have weird rumours about you spread around in the society you live in. I know this because I've once been through it all... Though it wasn't as bad as in "Life". Bullys really disgust me. Well tonight I'll keep this short, because I want to see what happenes with Ayumu, now that the head bully is trying to feed her with needles. I hope the teacher will arrive there in time... Good night!

0:00

Now when I begin to write this post, the time is exactly 0:00. To write a post in most cases takes only a few minutes, but now I'm watching Ganchi Baka so it'll propably take a bit longer tonight. Ganchi Baka is an Japanese drama Tv serie, that is about a ex-pro boxer that ends up as an homeroom-teacher for a class no one wants to teach in. The group of seventeen/eighteen years old children, has been marked as a problem section, since far back in the past. Somehow when I watch it, I can't help but to recognize our class through them. Misjudged children with lack of motivation and problems in their personal lifes, with no one to help them out... With no one who really cares about the real reasons behind their acts... Our class has been marked as a problem class since three years back in time, even though no one want to admit it, it's true. You can see it in the teachers eyes when they try talking to everybody, the tiredness and hope of reaching the end of the class. It all makes me feel kind of annoyed. To be seen as a duty for a person who doesn't even try, makes me feel pissed. The teachers have known about the problems for a pretty long time now, but no one has bothered to take the time to try help us out... Or... There was a teacher we had in society knowledge, he's the only one that've really cared about us... He was also the only one that all the students respected and liked with all their might... He quit last summer... Now he's working at the mentaly retarded childrens school. He must be happy now that he doesn't have to care about us anymore...
By the way, I forgot to tell you the content of the weird, heavy parcel (thanks´ for reminding me Lisa-chan)... It was a pair of mini hand weights -.-'' talk about dissapointment... Well now I'm off to fantasize about my fictional world with hot Japanese classmates ^-^ Adios!

What's life really all about?

Now I've done it, I've lost my voice, It's completly gone. Because of this I haven't done really anything other than watched Japanese dramas on the computer for the whole day. That's generally the thing I've been doing ever since Christmas Eve. Forgive me, I haven't had any will to write.
The presents I got was nice, mostly books and clothes... and a thing called "stress ball"... It's funny, you can squeeze and throw it as much as you like and it won't even break anything because it's filled with something soft jelly like stuff.
I haven't slept in nearly four days now... okay, I've slept but not more than three hours each morning... I've had these horrible coughing problems and also some trouble with breathing too... Wonder if there's something wrong with me...? *yawn, who cares.
Right now I'm watching a movie named "Moon Child", and can you guess who the persones acting the two main characters are?... Gackt and Hyde! *drools. They're so cool ^-^
Because I've been awake for a fairly long time, I've had time to think over many things, for example, What's the real reason behind our lifes? Why do we even exist? Is it because we're supposed to do something for the universum? Or is it just a coincidence that the bacteriums we evolved from ended up on the planet Tellus? Who knows...? How bothersome thoughts... My god.. I get a headache from trying to figure out the answer for so deep questions. ^~^''
... As I sit here in the living room, I can't help but to feel a bit lonely... Will I ever find a person who'll embrace me with his arms and make me feel loved?... *Bleah... love is just a big joke. The most dangerous drug in the whole world. I shouldn't think about that kind of unnessecary stuff... But still... I wonder how it feels to truly be loved by someone?... Well it's getting kinda' late... I'll go and get a shower... After that I'll propably continue watching Japanese love storys... Matane!

Merry Christmas!

First of all, I'd like to ask you not to pay any attention to last nights post... It's kind of... excactly as I wrote then... Pathetic. Lisa-chan's propably right (read the comment), I'm very bad at wearing my glasses (they're so dull), that's propably the reason to my headache... Who cares. This moning has been boring. I woke up around 11.am when my lil'sis' came and walked all over my hand (I fell asleep on the couch), she's heavy so it hurt. After I got up, I walked to the kitchen and ate a sandwich. Then after that I've been reading and watching tv.
Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, wich means that I'll finally find out what that damn weird parcel contain! I don't really care about anything else... Earlier I was thinking about staying home alone with my guinea pig, Davin. But I figured out that grandmother would've been angry at me if I did that. So I'll accompany the rest of the family to my grandparents place tomorrow (we always spend the Christmas Eve there, in Finland). This is the main reason why I've never seen the so famous Christmas "Kalle Anka" (Donald Duck) episode... It's a tradition in almost every Swedish family, to sit down and watch the programme every Christmas Eve... Wonder if it's good?
I was thinking about putting a lot of effort in the Japanese studies now when I have so much spare time... Then I might have a slight chanse to be accepted to the exchange study programme... I'll go and read now! C~Ya! By the way, I'm not so sure that I can write anything tomorrow, because my grandparents doesn't have an internet... I hope unkle will bring his laptop... Merry Christmas!!

Tick, tock...

I can't sleep! It's horrible! all I can hear is the kitchen clock going on like "tick, tock, tick, tock..".
I seriously think I'm going crazy!... Nah.. not really... (meant as a joke)
That wasn't even fun.. -.-'' The reason why I can't sleep is this headache. It doesn't go away. I've pumped myself full of pain killers in the hope for a short moment of sleep. But the pills just doesn't have any effect. Man.. How troublesome... I bet I'll look like an zombie tomorrow ~.~ Not good at all. I guess I'll just have to put up with the suffering and try come up with something to do while I can't sleep... Maybe I'll read some books...

Dude... Now when I'm gazing through this post... It's really pathetic... Clearly work of an half dead person... x.x

Pain.

I've had a horrible headache for the last two days, what's even worse, the painkillers doesn't work. So I've been kind of dozing off every other minute.. so sternuous.
Because I've been feeling so bored and useless after the school ended, I decided to visit the two librarys on each side of the border (Sweden and Finland), to get some studying material for my leisure time. I foun some very interesting books about psychology and the Japanese language. This should keep me busy for a longer period of time^-^
My headache is getting worse, so I'll go and lie down for a minute. By the way, thank you for the comments. It's always pleasant to read your thoughts concerning my blog.
Well I'll go now, Goodbye.

Mini-Christmas

Good evening.
Tonight we have a thing called "mini-Christmas" at our place. It's a tradition in our family, to arrange a dining "party" where all our relatives from dads family (sisters, brothers and grandparents) come over to eat, open Christmas presents and spend time with each other. Usually this evening would be spent the 23:th, but due to moms' work we had to arrange it tonight. Well, it doesn't really matter. Anyways, right now my big brother's sitting next to me, here in my room, playing on the small keyboard, desperately trying to learn a new song called "Suteki da ne"... Using me as an teacher... To be honest, he picks up this kind of stuff pretty fast, so it's fun to teach him^-^ I've got to force him study some notes, so that he wouldn't need me so much...
When I woke up, I had this strange empty feeling, I had nothing to do and nothing to look forvards to. That's when I realized that lately my whole life has been circulating around school. When I told mum' about these things, she just laughed and told me that it's always been like that in my life. That nothing else than school excists in my world... When I think of it, thats quite true... ehehee ^-^'' Now I've got to go and greet our guests. Byebye.

Gaaah!

Somebody help me! I'm trying to write a post while chatting with five people at the same time on Msn -.-'' We're planning how to spend the New Years Eve... Apparently we're going to sleep over at a guys place who I've met like two times... ^-^'' But he seems like a decent guy... OMG... I wrote exactly the same thing about my childhood friend, who, believe me, is a totally fucked up person. I really feel like killing him right now... He is such a jerk! Screwing around with several girls at the same time. He'd better be happy that this was the last day of school, othervise I would've forced a pen up his rectum. Well.. I'm not mad, even if this text might give you the image... I'm just a bit unhappy... You know... He used to be such a nice guy who'd smile and laugh every day... A great pal who'd always take care of his friends... that's what he was... I guess people really change... How sad...
The grades I got today... I feel like commiting suicide (not a joke)... I guess all my hard work didn't pay off in the end... What a great dissapointment... Now just to lighten up my heart, I'll list up the people I feel like scolding: The- P.E-teachers. Technique- teacher (she's also the teacher in NO i.e.- biology, physics & chemistry), so it's like taking two birds at one shot. And the Handicraft-hag. The other teachers are nice, specially the English/Swedish teacher, she's the easiest person to get along with. Ehmm... Maybe not everyone is so nice... the SO (history, geograph etc.) teacher is kind of stupid... Not "evil" stupid... Just generally... stupid... immature... like a five years old... *cough*
Yeah...
Well... I've started looking forvards to Christmas Eve. Just because there is a damn parcel that I can't figure out the content of, I'm dying of curiosity...
...I don't feel like writing anymore...
Farwell my beloved mates.

White Christmas.

Sad... So sad... I haven't got any comments in almost over two weeks now :/ Well it doesn't really matter as long as someone acctually reads this worthless stuff I write down here ^-^''
Right now I'm listening to Gackt, a song of his named 'Cube'. I really love the way he sings, all the emotions he's able to transmit through the music. It's just so wonderful.
Outside there's a winter storm, it's jet black, the wind blows very hard and the snow whirls´all around, it's really an awful wheather.
We'll get our grades from school on Friday, I'm feeling somewhat nervous about it... Because this is the grades we'll apply to schools with... And I've worked so damn hard...
Gosh... I've got to think of something else!.. Eettooo...
Yesterday mum' struck again ^^'' This time she told me that I'm emotionally disturbed, because I never cry or feel regret... That's not quite true, well I haven't cried in ages... I just don't think that it's necessary, but I can assure you of that I've felt regret over loads of stuff I've done. Anyways that's what she told me. Wonder if she'll ever stop nagging about unnecessary stuff...?
Seven days (*creepy voice*)... 'til Christmas Eve... -.- how bothersome... I don't feel like meeting the "santa", it'd be so much better if he'd just hand out the parcels and get lost, instead of talking for a decennium. But I've got to admit that it always is fun to see what kind of bum clothes he's wearing every time. Last year he had an blue boiler-suit and a broom. He looked more like a Halloween witch than a Santa ^~^ fufufuuu...
Tonight I've got karate practise so I'll be off soon. I hope I won't die in the snow storm! It'd be so much easier to live in the acctual town, no early morning wake ups´and no busses... haaa... How nice... Well C-ya!

Just stuff...

I remembered this one time when a person said a horrible thing to me that changed my whole attitude against life... She said " Just for a moment, why can't you be normal". The person was my mum'. Even though this was a very long time ago at a occasion when she was over tired and easily annoyed... It hurt me... To know that she really thought that way, but didn't want to admit it... It felt bad... From that moment on I've always felt a bit like an outsider... I mean... Her words got me to think in a way that isolates a part of me from the outside world... Sounds stupid, doesn't it.. eheh.. ^^''
In my world, people like me are the "normal" ones, and people different from me are the "strangers". I think that's the main reason why I don't feel like I belong here... I'm surrounded by "strangers". Strangers that I love, strangers important to me like nothing else and strangers who ever can't be replaced by "normal" people. Still I can't help but to feel like a nobody to them. It's difficult and doesn't really make sense ^-^'' Yeah...
But in another matter, I somehow enjoy the feeling of being different. No one can say "you're just like everybody else" or "You don't have a own will". Well who cares?
The Christmas realtive date was strenuous, my "plastic" grandma' doesn't seem to get that I can't eat things with lactose in and that I'm a vegetarian -.-'' She really is an old fashioned "lady", except from one thing. My brother's got a piercing in his eyebrown, so when I told mother that I liked his new ornament (spike thing) and suggested that a adornment like that would fit my lower lip too, my "granny" said that it wouldn't look too bad... hmm... maybe she was just sucking up to me... ~.~'' Well it's getting pretty late, so I'll go to bed. Good night.

Counting the days

Only ten days to Christmas Eve...
I'm finally done with the Christmas shopping! No more presents' to buy!!
Yesterday when I was bored I went through our Christmas present bags ( the presents´that mum' and dad have bought >:3 ), in total there was about five sacks´ one filled with presents for my lil'sis' and two for my big-brother... there were three presents´for me -.-'' somehow I can't help but to feel un loved... Well life sucks... No! I'm not going to complain! I've got the tickets to An Cafés´concert! Man.. It makes me feel happy every time I think of it^-^
I've already somewhat figured out what the wraps contain ^.^'' This is what I think: Lets see.. the one I'll get from my cousine is a pair of leg/arm warmers and a woodoo-key-chain. The others: a book, manga pocket, a dvd (hopefully anime), two notes one with the money inside, some kind of mini statue, I hope it's a buddha :)... I can't remember the rest... There was one that I couldn't figure out. It was a very heavy small strangely formed plastic parcel. I'm looking forvards to openting it!... I really hope it's not a IQ-toy... They're horrible! I never manage to figure them out! And I only get annoyed by them...
Tonight we're invited to a Christmas date with some relatives at grandpa' and "plastic" grandma's place... Yeah... Well now I'm off, to prepare myself for the evening! Whish me luck! Sayounara!.. By the way.. I looked horrible as an attendant (on friday), but otherwise it was fun to sing carols for the teachers ( we didn't bother doing it to the students^v^'')... C-ya!

Traditions...

It's been five days since my last blog post... And I've got SO much to tell you!!
I GOT TICKETS´ TO An Café's CONCERT!! I'm SOO happy!! -^.^-
The concert is next year (-09) 18:th March. I'm going there with my cousine who live in the Southern part of Finland (where An Café's going to perform). Oh, god I'm so happy.
According to my friend Lisa-chan, I've been annoyingly cheery ever since I got the tickets´...
^-^'' fufufuu...
My childhod friend has grown to be a horribly perversed person... Othervise he hasn't changed much. We had a nice chat together today... Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to threaten him about not breaking Chan-chans´heart, because she was sitting right next to us... Even though our conversation was in Finnish (which she doesn't speak) , she would've understood my threat... Damn.. I missed the perfect opportunity to really preach to him about the importance of a girl´s feelings... Well... Next time I'll make sure to do it! >:3
We finally had our long awaited maths test on Monday... I think I did pretty well, maybe not as well as I'd wanted to... But I passed at least :)
On Friday we have the Lucia "party"... I'd rather call it a ceremony, because it's not as fun as a party. Ah! For those who don't know what a Lucia ceremony is, I'll try to explain.
I don't really remember why we celebrate the Lucia day (real date is 13:th December), it was something about a nice chick who got burned at the stake... Well.. ehumm... This is how we celebrate it: A procession of (originally) girls (lead by the "Lucia") dressed in white coats, silver coloured tinsel tied round the waist and head (don't get me wrong, the tinsel is like a thin tiara, lightly put on top of your hair) and a candle in their hands. The Lucia has a crown with real candles instead of the tiara and a red zone instead of a silver. They sing christmas carols and read verses (nowdays there are people who dress out to be gingerbread-woman´s, star-boys and girls, young puck´s... etc. Though this is mostly in kindergaten).
It sounds a bit stupid.. doesn't it?... Yet It's kind of nice to have a tradition like this. By the way, I'm not in the procession this year. Last year was so amusing (1-girl fainted and 1-ran from the stage due to sudden indisposition) so this year I want to witness everything from the audition... Still I'm going to sing carols outside the building with my friends, we're like a mini procession with three young puck´s, a Lucia and me, a attendant (the white thing with tinsel I was writing about earlier). I hope it'll be fun!
Well. Now I'm off to do my English home work! Farwell my dear friends.

Remembrances of childhood

I got this flash back, at a summer when I was sick and veren't allowed to go outside and play with my friends. It was so painful to watch them have fun with my brother on the yard in the warm sunshine, while I was stuck inside of the dark, cool, house... You know the saying 'Only stupid people catch a cold on summer'... Well I felt very stupid that time. Stupid that I had souch a weak body, stupid that it couldn't handle the sudden weather changes. And most of all, stupid for being me. That time I was about six or seven years old... I remembered this propably because I've caught a cold... again-.-'' Last time was about.. two weeks ago... Even though it's not summer I somehow feel dumb. My body still can't handle the sudden change of temperature. It kind of makes me sad... and angry at myself. In the end I couldn't go on the weekend camp, nor could I visit the upper secondary school with my friend... Fuck...
My mom's got this sudden cleaning hysteria, so I've got to go and help her out with things... Bye-bye.

December!

Only 22- days until Christmas Eve... What a pain -.- ... I can't help but to think that Christmas is just something very bothersome... What I mean is that, people spend hundreds of euros on unnecesseary junk that no one needs. Because it would be rude to throw anything away, the trash'll just be left at the back of some wardrobe in your house. And besides of that, I don't like the reason why we celebrate Christmas... Some crap about a guy who dies and regenerates again. :P
Before I'm going to change the subject I'll just apologize my rude way of writing about the church stuff, to you who may be offended.. What can I say... I'm not that into religious stuff. I only took the confirmation because of the need for money.. Yeah.. well.. whatever..
Right now I'm stressed out with all the school work. The maths test that has been posponed to Friday. The author portrait that'll have to be ready for Friday too. English tasks to Monday. A bunch of Swedish assignements to Tuesday... (The days may be a bit screwd up). But you get the point.
I'm going on a camp over the weekend so I'll be home on Sunday. I look forvards to it!.. Or not really... I'd prefer to stay home instead. But you gotta' do what you gotta' do. I hope that It'll be fun...
My mom got vexed at me this morning again... For no reason -.-'' It's all my sisters fault. She makes´ mum annoyed on purpose. Always going against mothers will... I don't like her a bit. This may sound a bit childish... But I just can't help it... She's the main cause of my child-hate (I can't stand kids from approximately 4 to 12 years).
Now I'm going to study a bit before I'll start reading manga on internet XP Right now I'm reading *Akuma de Sorou* it has a nice plot, the ordinary love story--> " Bad boy meets sweet girl and opens up his heart to protect her" kind of thing. I whish guys like that would really exist! Well.. Hej då!

Evening'!

Sorry for the sudden end in my last post... While I still was writing I saw the teacher arrive, so I had to close everything down... Now about the thing I was gonna write about in school (after the snow thing). I've been freaking pissed off at a girl in our class, (and ya' know it takes hell of a lot to get me angry), because last night I read one of her latest blog posts´... I thought of her as a nice person that I spent time whith, but you can never guess what she'd written in there. Something about my friends (I included) always being so mean to her and that she wanted to strangle every single one of us, that she'd feel really good after doing it, and so on. I have never ever done anything that she could be angry about. I mean.. grow up and get help-.- No normal people writes that kind of shit in their blog. At least not if it's your friends you're talking about. If that's the way she feels about hanging around with us, then why not just stop doing it? If you don't apperciate your friends, then you don't deserve any. That's what I think. Yeah... this maybe gives out the expression that I'm a evil bitch that dosn't care for anybody, thats wrong. I always put my friends needs on the first place, after that I can start considering about myself. That propably is one of the main reasons why I've been so angry... or should I say dissapointed? I would never do anything wrong against her on purpose, and still she wrote bad things about me without a reason, and it hurt real bad.
So.. now you've seen how I act when I'm upset..Lets hope this was the last time^-^! By the way, my grandma' left today... it feels kind of lonly here again :/ No more playing home... Bye.

White sorrow..

The ground is covered in a thick beautiful layer of snow. The shimmering whiteness of the earth is so nice. It has been very cold the last week... I love it -^.^-
By the way. Right now I'm sitting in school, waiting for the class to begin.. Oh shit gotta' go now C-ya

Find true love..?

This is the third day my grandma's spending here... Somehow when she's around this place feels more like... a home?... weird...
I'm sitting in my room, chewing on a cookie and listening at all the damn annoying screaming of our guests' children (there is seven.. or eight.. of them... I think.. -.-'')... This is some kind of cruel torture for me.. Why God! Why!.. Nah just kidding.. It's acctually kind of nice to have people around at our place, so that mum' won't pay too much attention to what I'm doing, othervise she'd just be breathing down on my neck and komplaining of everything I do, or don't do...
Lately the sleepless nights has started to increase. Like yesterday I couldn't sleep before 2.30 am... Luckily almost every single one of our classes where canselled, or switched to textile craft, so I didn't have any problems staying awake... Or should I say.. I didn't have problems with people who'd notised when I was sleeping^-^ hihi...
One of my friends (lets call her... Chan) has really fallen in love with a guy, who acctually is my best childhood friend.. yeah.. okay.. he's my only childhood friend... (What can I say.. I wasn't so popular among the other children, especially the girls). Anyways... When she was talking about him you could hear that she really has found someone she likes, and the best of it, he's a pretty decent guy who hopely won't brake her heart because of some stupid thing...
Damn.. now mom's at it again... even though we have guests she still came up to the second floor just to see that I wasn't doing anything teenagers would consider as fun.. like listening too loud to music or watching tv... Don't get me wrong, my mum' usually isn't or.. wasn't like that, but she's started to become more and more tense. One morning when she woke up she came down-stairs and asked me about something... I don't really remember what it was, but it surely was something I wasn't happy to hear, so when I answered to her with a normal pitch, but a bit angry tone, she suddenly started to yell at me.. and the thing she yelled was "Why are you yelling at me!? I just asked you a question!". Ever since that I've been trying to avoid her... Which isn't so easy, because we're only three persons (dad isn't home so often, otherwise he'd be the fourth one) in our house. And now she's calling out my name... Well gotta' go.. She propably wants me to take out the garbage or something like that... C-Ya!

Hello life!

Right now my grandmother is at our place, cleaning with all her might-.-'' She's a really nice person... But sometimes she just goes over board with things...
Wonder how it is to grow old.. I mean.. Will it be easier to live and find your own pace to walk at? Or will it carry on like this forever, allways have to be running on the others sides trying not to be left behind?.. I wonder... Will I look uglyer than I already do? tihihi.. I really hope I won't!
YAAY! I got two comments on my last post.. I haven't been abandoned! *happy*. THANK YOU!
This day was pretty nice. We only had three lessons´: society knowledge, maths and English. And on top of that, we learnt that tomorrows maths exams has been canselled! Yatta!! Can my life turn out to better than it already is!? Actually.. It can. We also got about 20-pages and 40-questions from the society-knowledge, to memorize until Fridays' tests... I hate our SK teacher.. He's souch an annoying old man... He can't even correct an essay right >:/ almost everyone in our class got a ¨mis-¨ on a question that he didn't know the right answer to... It's The Great Basines and not Mississippi riwer!.. Ehmm... Yeah.. Forget about that ^-^'' ..
Tomorrow some people from a Finnish upper secondary school, will come and inform us about the school possibilitys there.. Maybe, if I don't get into IB I'll go to a "Lukio" (that's what they call them in Finland)... Damn... The topic came up again -.- I tried so hard to avoid it!
So.. Now Imma' go 'n eat some horrible tasting chicken food that mum' has made.. Itadakimasu! and sayonara minnasan!

Future... Questions.. Hard work..

I've finally found the perfect policy for me. It's the IB - International Baccalaureate line. A policy where all your studies are in English. And you get to choose your subjects! That means that I can skip physics and chemistry, and take biology instead of them! I really hope that I get into this policy, I mean it's like handmade for me..
Wonder which lines´ my friends are gonna commence in..? I have no clue about their intentions. They've all been so messed up in their thoughts, just like me, cause of the sudden urge to make a decicion about our future.. okay.. maybe it isn't so sudden, but it sure is hard. Allmost everyone of my friends are gonna move away to another municipality, that's one thing I'm sure of.
It's kind of sad, when you think about it.. We have shared our joys and sorrows together for the past six years, and now everyone's just gonna get split up... I'm gonna miss them... Well life sucks. So... I just have to keep up with the hard work so that I'll stand a chance in the admission examinations for the programme...
This is all I can come up with for this time.. I know it's a bit boring, but I'm not really in a mood of writing funny things right now... Bye.

No title.

Lately I've started to feel that I'm writing this blog for the readers- and not for my own benefit.. Which isn't really right.. Originally I thought of this as a way to write about my opinions, releas some surpressed anger and thoughts that weren't permisseble in this society.. But now it's ended up with me writing lame, boring reports of my daily life to others.. Maybe a change would be good here..?

Manga, Japan, Anime = LOVE ^-^'

Hi! Everybody. I don't know why, but for some reason I feel very depressed... Even though the manga event yesterday, was great.. I just can't smile and be happy... It's propably because no one has left any comments on my latest posts'.. I'm so lonely :´/ hehe... okay.. that's presumably not the real reason... I guess I've just had a bad day.. Like anyone else..
*Trying to think of something to write about..
Ah! I've forgot to tell you. Last Monday, I decided on becoming a vegetarian. This propably sounds a bit strange.. I didn't do it because I'd wanted to protest against something.. I just want to lear understanding different kinds of people. So I haven't ate any red meat in about a week now, and acctually I've felt much better than I did before.. okashii.. I guess my body just prefers' beans better than meat..^-^ This day has been all about Death Note. I've almost finished the anime now. And I also watched the Death Note Movie 1. To be honest, I don't really think the persones that play the parts of Light and Ryuzaki fit the roles at all. And almost the whole story was changed. So the movie was a big dissappointment to me.
When I was at the manga event, there was a group of girls in my age that were dressed in all sort of unusual clothes.. Few of them was cosplaying (one as L-kun, she acctually was the winner of the cosplay competition, and one as Reita, from The GazettE), I got a little feeling of lonliness when I watched them laugh and talk about all sort of things.. Even though I have great friends, I wish that I had friends like that too, so that I wouldn't be the only one that dresses like a "weirdo" and stands out of the group. It would be so nice to have somebody to talk to, somebody who acctually wanted to hear about my opinions and interests, someone who wouldn't feel forced or bored to hear me talk about japanese stuff ^~^'' Really don't get me wrong, I have superb friends.. It's just that they're not interested in the same sort of things as I am. Well now I'm off to dwell in my desolation XP Oyasuminasai minnasan.

Good morning.

Right now I'm chewing on a apple... Even though the apple seasone has already ended, this one acctually tastes good. The peel is screaming in red and yellow colours like it's trying to warn people not touch it. The more I think of it, the more it starts to resemble a human being.. Even though we put up a screen, weather it's flashy or scary it's to keep other people away, so that they won't come too close. We make others think that we are non-wounerable. But acctually the shell is soft, and the inside even softer... So don't judge a apple by it's peel, instead try tasting it, and see if the flavour strikes' your fancy^-^

Samui..

(Yesterday) When I woke up. As usually I looked out of the window besides my bed.. Or acctually madrass (I sleep on the floor), I bet my face looked like this O.O , because the ground was all covered in a 5 to 10 cm thick layer of snow, and it hasn't melted yet! You should've seen Lisa-chan! When I got into the school bus. She was like : Snow, snow, snow SNOW! I Love SNOW! Sooo White, SOO cold, SoO nice.. I LOVE SNOOOW! She said this all with a mad expression on her face ^-^'' . And to be honest it was a bit creepy x.x
The feminist meeting went pretty well, considering of the problems we had before it^¤^ (Long story). In the end, we only were three persones, but we had a great time. We ordered pizza, watched a movie and generally enjoy'd our time :)
Have you ever wondered if there is souch a thing as a parallel world? Maybe.. a place where no one needs to suffer from hunger nor cold.. A world without any discrimination against different people... A place where I can just be... me..? This is the thoughts I got after I'd started to read a manga named Amatsuki, I really like it. It's a story about a boy who fails his history in first year, so he's forced to go to a edo-age created town, that is inside of a huge box formed thing. It's acctually a really high-tec place, but through these google like things it all seems like the real thing. After spending a really short amount of time there he's suddenly attacked by a monster, wich ends up with him dissapearing in the real Edo-period. It's really interesting. You should try read it!
This day was cold.. Soo cold.. Otherwise it was a plain, normal, boring day.. So I'm gonna' go 'n prepare for tomorrows SARJIS MANGA EVENT! Sleep well!

Sicko day nr 2.

Moshi, Moshi, Minnasan!
Today was my last germ day ^-^ I've been cured! By my own immune system.. When I get ill the sickness often only holds on for a few- one to three days.. If it keeps on longer, it's something more serious^^
Tomorrow I'll finally be able to go to school. Even though I've only been home for two days, it feels like a eternity. There's so much I've already missed! A chemistry test, Swedish assignments date, and much more! I'm not even allowed to go to practise today, so I'll miss things there too. I feel so lost :/ Tomorrow me and Lisa-chan are going to have a feministic meeting with other nice people. We're going to watch a movie, eat some sweets (I'm not going to, but the others. I'll explain later), and maybe we'll get some pizza, then we're going to discuss the movie. It'll be so much fun! (I hope). We have the whole 1000kr (sek) to spend! Hehe.. maybe we should go shopping instead >:3 Nah.. Just kidding.
The snow melted almost right after it came.. It's so sad.. We haven't had a proper winter in two years now, it's all because of the global warming :( People really should try do something about it.. So depressive, a winter without snow... it really sucks.
Yeah.. About the sweets thing, for those who don't know, I'm on a thing called Candy vow, It's a decided period of time which you're not allowed to eat any candy on, and in return for the "candy cellibate" you get a certain amount of money, which for me in this case is 1000kr (sek) for a year. I've only got about 1,5 months left. I think I've already told you all this once... Well a little repetition dosn't hurt. This is everything I've got in my mind for this time. C-YA!

I'm SO sorry!

As you can read in the title I'm SO SORRY! for the almost six days long break between my post's. So I'm gonna tell you in short about the days that I haven't posted anything in. Saturday: We went to our grand parents house to celebrate the (coming) fathers day. It was horrile, I really don't like my "plastic" grandmother, it seems like she still think's that I'm eight ears old. It kind of pisses me off ^-^'' We ate.. or I mean the others ate cake, when I sat and chew on a little biscuit (I couldn't eat the cake bacause of my lactose intolerance). It wasn't fun at all.. man I sound really pessimistic ^~^
Sunday: The real fathers day, we went to our other grand parents place (my mums' mum and dad). It takes about a hour to get there by car, but surprisingly it felt as if the ride only took a few minutes.. When we arrived, our grandparents came and whished us welcome, it really made me feel good to see them again after such a long time apart. We ate cake, talked and generally just spent time there. I really enjoyed it.
Monday: I felt really happy when I woke up. School started at 8.10 am, and the first lesson we had was in geography. Second class, I had a private lesson in music (piano) this is when my head started to get blank, I couldn't even read the damn notes! I just sat there and stared at the black dots on the paper.. When I got to the maths class I couldn't solve a freaking easy sum, so I only sat there and stared at the numbers. It was a lot of staring. I thought that everything was because I hadn't ate enough with breakfast.. So when I got to the dining room I tried to eat, but I just couldn't get the food down proprerly :/ On the English class we got our test results back, mine were pretty good. After that the school ended. I stayed in town because I had a appointment at the fysiotek, again. The woman there did exactly the same things she did on the three earlier appointments, and it didn't help a bit. My back still hurts :( Well, on the evening I had karate practise that was really fun, thats when I started to feel weak again, I got this really hot, burning feeling on my cheeks, but I kept on going until the practise ended. So when I got home I dragged myself to the couch and tried to see clearly, but I hardly could see anything, everything was blurry. When my mum checked on me I had a fever. She ordered me to go to bed and rest immediately. And that's when my monday ended.
Today I've been staying home the most of the day, but I had a development conversation with my teacher so I had to go there. After that me and mum' went to the grocery shop to get some food, and yeah.. here I am, writing on the computer, even though my head feels like it's about to explode... By the way I want to thank Lanko-chan about the comment on the last blog post, it made me really happy.. and kind of embarrassed^¤^'' ehehee... Well my head's a bit dizzy right now, so I think that I'll go to bed.. Good night!

Yuki!

Hi, minnasan!
Today when I woke up, the ground was white of snow! Even though it only was a thin coating of frost blend with snowflakes, it made me feel really good about the day^-^ Unfortunately I was to face with the fact that the good feeling would crach within a hour -.- The first lesson we had was in community-knowledge, and it was my, and two other persons', turn to present our works in the subject of "The Global Warming and its' effect on the enviroment". I was so damn close to vomiting as I stood in front of the whole school class and delivered the information, while trying to keep a hold of myself. Personally I didn't think that it went that good, but the teachers' were pleased with it so.. what can I say. To be honest, I don't think that our group will get more than a G, with a good chance maybe VG, so I'm very dissapointed of myself, I worked so hard, and failed.. well fuck that. ( our grades are divided into MVG-the best, VG-medium, G-good, IG-not good at all).
Tomorrow I have two examinations, one in music theory and the other in English. The English test is decisive for 50 procent of the Englis grades. And I can't seem get my thoughts together, so I'm stressed out right now :/ By the way, I forgot to tell you last time that I got a new ear piercing in Tammerfors, now I have five in my left ear and one in my right. You propably wonder why the number of them is so differently divided, well that's simply because it's much more easy to see my left ear in the mirror while sticking a needle through, and it hurts in my eyes when I try to look to the right for a longer period of time. And no I'm not a freak that enjoys the feeling of pain. It's just much more cheap that way, and as a matter of fact, it heals much faster than the ones made with a "hole gun" ( I think that's the name of the thing they use in the smithy shops). Weird, huh.?..
On Sunday it is the Father's day. I'm not really looking forwards to that day, because we'll propably be invited to our grandparents place, to eat some damn unhealthy food and spend time with our "plastic" grandma' who has a annoying supercilious way of acting. Besides, dad won't even be home on that day, so what's the point in celebrating it?. Well whatever.
I got'ta go and study now! Wish me luck! Bye bye, G-night Sleep tight!

HI! Yo! Hello! ^-^

To begin with, I want to apologize about the long break between my last blog post and this one.. I've been so busy with the homework and school that I haven't had any opportunities' to write :/ Lately my weight has increased, without going down again, it really bothers me. Especially when I think about my classmates who are skinny as hell.. But I guess there's nothing I can do about it.. Yesterday me and my mum' had a little talk about christmas presents. Sadly it ended up with me yelling at mum' and her yelling back-.-'' Usually I don't bawl at people, but I just got so pissed off when she told me that I wouldn't get anything else than a little amount of money on Christmas'eve'. Yeah.. money is always good.. but the reason why I got so angry was simply because it's wrong.. I mean.. What fun is it in just getting one single envelope, while watching the Santa deliver these large piles of presents to your siblings. Well I hope I at least get a CD or something..
This day has been pretty pleasant. I got a new nickname.. Wich wasn't that pleasant.. "Bög" hehe yeah it means (male) gay (in Sweden there is different names for female gays and male gays)... There isn't a real reason behind this name, I just got it when my dear friends where on a bit twisted mood. A girl we now call "kryck mongo" (.. It means, something like.. "crutch idiot".. no reason behind this name either) yeah, she was sitting on a chair and staring at me with this very serious expression, then she suddenly asked "are you gay?", I was like "Woot?", then she said "You're gay", I asked her "isn't it only guys who can be "gay"? After that, one of my other friends, now called "Skruttan" (meaning the womens sex organ, this name actually has a reason behind it.. maybe I'll tell you about it later) said "yeah it's true that only guys can be "gay", but you're a guy! I know it! You've been discovered! No reason to try hide it anymore!" this statement lead to my present nickname. According to my friends I'm a bit masculine in my way of being ( un-sensitive, not so "lively") and to the looks' (I often wear baggy trousers' and hoodies'), but it doesn't really bother me.
Me Longen and Sesshy had a long nice chat about "Upcon" the biggest of all manga happenings in Sweden, I've never had the chance to go and visit it myself (it's on the other side of Sweden) but I've heard lots of great stories from people who've been there. One of my good friends is acctually going there next year (in January).. I'm SOO jealous!! hihi.. So.. We were thinking about wich characters would be the most suitable for each one of us to cosplay as. We ended up with that Longen would be perfect as pucca, dosn't really remind her much. She's tall, blonde and has big green-brown eyes. But she wanted to dress her boyfriend out as Garu, so it was the best character for her^-^ Sesshy wanted to dress out like Shessomaru. And I still don't know who I'd like to cosplay as... maybe.. someone like Itachi.. or Presea.. man.. I really don't know..
By the way! When I was scrolling trough some of my older posts' I notised that I had gotten a new comment on the latest one. Read it! It really made me happy to find out that there acctually is someone who enjoys to read my blog! So big thank's for the comment!! ^~^ Well got'ta go now, I still have to prepare for tomorrows Enviroment lecture thing.. I really hope that I won't puke on my classmates while trying to educate them about the Global warming.. Or faint, it would be embarrasing... Bye-bye! Good night!

On Holiday. II

So, I didn't get the chance to continue my last blog post before today. Well. Yeah.. So. I'm on a thing called "candy vow" or "candy break", wich means that, if I stay without candy for a whole year (except for two days that I get to choose) I get a certain amount of money, wich in this case means 1000kr (sek). And guess what! I only have about two months left of the year anymore! YAY! (Jan. 14).
This is the last day that I'll spend here in Tammerfors... The train leaves at 3 o'clock, so I only have seven hours left to wait. (By the way, I'm talking Finnish time here). And after about.. sixteen hours I'm home again.. That's really sad.. I've been thinking about moving here.. Well not excactly here, maybe into a small flat near a school with a Swedish class in.. If there are any... That'd be really nice.. Because, I don't really enjoy living in Sweden. It's a bit compliated... I mean, I've been living in Sweden for my whole life, and still I don't feel like I belong there.. Weird.. Well. yesterday me and my cousin where shopping down town, I found a present for my brother who have just had he's eighteen'th birthday, it was very pleasant to spend time with Tansku (my cousins nick-name), she's almost like a younger and taller copy of me^-^ so she understands my opinions about almost everything. Now I'm going to clean this place up, so that I get to come here again. ByeBye.

On Holiday.

Hello everyone. I've finally got the chanse to update you about the happenings in my life. So.. On Thursday morning I woke up with a cracked lip and a bruise on my cheek bone, I wonder what I've been dreaming about. I had practical working experience at the upper secondary school again, only this time it was at the "Children and leisure time" department. I've got to admit that it was much more fun than the first P.W.E. So I've started to doubt my desicion about going to choose the "Buisness and administration" policy. Maybe it'd be possible to become a English teacher in Japan.. I really hope... Yeah.. well.. On Friday morning I woke up 4 am and packed the rest of my things. After that we left to the train station. Our sitting spots were in the play vehicle, so the next seven hours were a living hell. Children screaming, laughing and crying all over the place... When we arrived to Tammerforsmy cousines dad was waiting for us at the station. It was really nice to meet him after souch a long time. So I've been living at my cousines place for the last three days, it has been so much fun! Yesterday I got to eat candy! Oh damn! I have to go now, but I'll continue and explain later, maybe tomorrow! Byebye!

School!

Right now I'm sitting in school, having a free period, waiting for the next lesson to begin. These computers really are lousy and SOO slow, it's kind of hard to write with this keyboard too. The day has been very boring, almost half the class is practising working experience at the upper secondary school, tomorrows my turn again-.- for some reason I don't really like it. Everyone stares and they look down on you when you're walking across the hallways... It feels really un pleasant. Besides I don't like the school in its entirety.. a nasty place, as you can read in my previous post. Yesterday evening I went throgh some brouchyres of Finnish schools. I think that Finland is the right place for me ^-^ Even though I've heard that it's a lot harder there... but I'll manage! I mean, if I can survive for even a whole year in a Finnish school, then I'll manage a year in Japan too! But now I've gotta' go! Bye-bye!!

Wich upper secondary school will I choose?

Hi everyone!
My day has been very interesting. I've been to the upper secondary school at a practical working experience in the business and administration programme. To be honest the classes weren't as interesting as I'd thought, but yeah.. the reason to that, probably is that I'm not a bit interested in bookkeping nor marketing. So I'm gonna try finding a policy that's only about languages and tourism, and I have no idea if there's a place like that. Though one thing's for sure, I'm not gonna stay here for a moment longer than' I have to. The school I wisited had small dim classroom's and the teachers didn't seem that great. I really hope that I get out'ta here soon! I was thinking about moving to Kalix, a small, simple yet nice place, or maybe study in Finland, that wouldn't be so silly...
After the upper secondary school practical working experience, I went to a friend called Sesshy, this was the first time I wisited her house, after they'd moved. The house was really pretty, if I'd get to choose, I would live in a house like that.. I mean.. yeah it was a lot smaller than the one she lived in before, but the new one just feels a lot more cozy. We listened to music, ate pockys and some weird fish snacks, that didn't taste like fish at all. We also played Mario cart and Super Smasch Bros on the Gamecube. It was loads of fun! At the time of 15.30 I had a meeting with the political organisations board committee, we discussed the past years activitys and came up with new plans for the coming months and the spring, year 2009. After the meeting ended, we had another one, but this one was the womens' social network's kick off- meeting. We were only four persons because, unfortunately Lisa-chan couldn't come due to illness. Right now we're working really hard to get the net thrown wider^-^ So now I'm home, and I've still got a lot of things to do, for example, to pack my stuff, I'm going to travel to Tammerfors this Friday and I'll be staying there almost for a week, so I doubt I'll have any spare time to blog in... Or maybe I have.. My cousin's at school on the days... Well.. We'll see^.^ I think I'll go packing now.
Goodbye, and G'night!

Yo.

Hello again, this is the second post for this day. I still don't have anything to write about, so I think that I'll keep this short. So what do you think about my new profile? I spiced it up a bit. I got to admit that I like it more now, it doesn't look so dull anymore ^-^ My day hasn't been special at all.. I woke up.. about 12.30, and still I've been tired the whole time. One of my dad's friends even asked me if I had a hung over, I was like' Dude, I'm underaged -.-'' , I guess that I wasn't looking so good... ^.^'' Well yeah.. By the way, I've forgot to mention the list of my friends blog's that I have at the end of my *full profile. They are wery interesting to read, you should do it! Then you'd maybe even get a better vision of my life, and a more complete image about some of the people that I write about. They're all great persones! Oh.. I didn't notise that it's already Sunday now... So I guess this is the first post for this day.. Well got'ta go 'n sleep now.. Bye!

yawn!

Good morning everyone!
I just woke up and tought that I wanted to write, even though I don't have anything specific in my mind... Well as you can see in yesterdays blog post's comment, the game we play'd was *Eye Toy* and not "Eye Game" ^-^
Right now my head hurts like hell, because I slept too long ^.^'' Hmm...
My weight has began to jump up and down again, wich is really annoying, because one day I can weight about 50kg and then the other day it has increased to 56kg, and then it drops again.. I really don't know what to do about it :/ My friend suggested that I should start eating on proper times, maybe I should try that out.. It's just a bit hard, because of my "tight" schedule, geez.. now I sound like a buissness woman ^~^'' Well if you have any good advice, don't hesitate to comment :)
Well I think I'll go and grab some breakfast.. Or should I maybe call it lunch?.. Adiosu!

Birthday party!

Hi! I just came home from Lanko-chan's birthday party. I feel a bit sick, but it was so much fun! We play'd Guitar Hero for hours, I got to admit that it's one of the most amusing games that I've ever tried. We also play'ed Eye Game, I highly recommend it to those who want's to lose weight while playing a game^.^ Right now I'm trying to watch a movie named "How to loose a guy in ten days" I've newer seen it, but it seems good, so I'm not gonna write so much.
Ya' know..Something really weird happened to me this morning. I woke up when the clock rang at the usual time (6.10 am), I sat up and pulled my pillow to the madrass... I don't really know what happened but when I got up from my bed and gave the watch a glance.. I bet I looked like this *-* because the time was 6.35am. I really have no idea about what had happened, I mean I sat exactly in the same position as when I first took the pillow before I stood up from the bed... I think I got like a black out or something... I haven't slept well since the school started, just like four, five hours a night, that's probably the reason. Well I'll see if I can find some streight to write later on the evening or tomorrow. Bye'bye!

Happy!

Hi!
Today I've been unusually glad, like over the top, glad^.^ When I woke up I thought I was gonna' die, but after a while I started to feel happy and I couldn't stop smiling... I really don't know why, well... yeah, as I've said earlier, I have a pretty weird morning temper...
So this day started with a long mother's language lesson (Swedish), our teacher is great! She let's us work at our own pace, so it's really nice. Even though she makes us read books that are a bit uninteresting, it's pleasant. The second lesson was in maths. We got our test results back, mine were fairly good. There is this one guy in our class that is always on the top when talking about maths grades, when he got his results back he went kind of pale, and got severly depressed, so I asked him what the matter was, and as it turned out he had almost flunked the test, it's propably because he hasn't really took a active interest in the things our teacher has told us on the lessons, but mostly it's propably because the test was the far most difficult one we've ever had. Our lunch in school was meat soup, and there was fish in the salads, so I didn't eat much. After the lunch we had our class in 'Language choose', wich for me means English (I used to have French, but the way they teached the language didn't really work for me). The lesson was ok, I get to pretty much work like I want. After that I and a few friends went to the bus stop, in order to get to the P.E class. And as we stood there in the gray rain, the bus stop started to get crowded. So when the bus arrived, it was a pure hell*-* Everyone push'ed everybody, just to get inside the bus first. And when we finally got inside, there was only two spots left to sit on, and we were four persons, so we all forced us into these tiny little sit spots, and tried to stay alive -.-'' It actually was really fun^-^ And when we got out of the bus, my butt hurt really much after it had been squeezed for so long^^'' The P.E was fun too! All I had to do, was to sit on a madrass with Lisa-chan, and count wich lap the other ones were on (it was the ''Cooper'' test, I did it last week). After that our day was over. We got on our bus back home, and when I finally got home, I didn't really do anything...
Now I'm going to take a shower. So Good night my friends =)

School life. Japan.

Hello everybody!
These last three days I've been seeking for information about different student exchange companies on the internet. And I've found about four different ones that I'm gonna try my luck with. What has this to do with the school life? Well the thing is that I'll have to re-take a college year after I return to Sweden again, because the courses I'll be taking in Japan doesn't match with the ones you have to take here. But it doesn't really matter ^.^ So I've been studying really hard to get good grades, so that my chances would increase among all the persons that'll apply for the places. I really hope that there's a place for me!
When I told my mum' that I wanted to go to Japan and study for a year, for the first time.. I was about 12 and a half years old. At first she didn't even take me seriously, she thought that it was just one of my ideas that'll disappear as fast as it came. But after a while she realized that I was serious about it, so she accepted it.
Yet today my relatives and friend ask's me once in a while if I'm really gonna do it, It's allmost like they don't understand that I can be serious about a thing like this. Yeah.. Well.. I'll try to find another topic to bore you to death with... Lets see...
Well my friend who doesn't approve that I dislike children, was really pissed off after she'd read my last post. I tried to explain to her that I can't help that I don't like them, I mean, I don't like fish because it tastes like fish, I don't like sausage because it's sausage.. By the way.. that part with I don't like fish.. I've improved wery much in eating it, because about a month ago I couldn't eat fish without feeling sick. But today I ate a pretty big piece of salmon (wich is the fish that I hate the most) without any spasms in my stomach ^-^ Ya' know that Japan is a country that you pretty much live on fish in (okay maybe not just fish...) anyways... I've decided that I'll be able to eat fish normally before the year ends^^, ... Ehm.. yeah.. I'll try at least...
I bet that right now you're thinking "Why doesn't she do the same thing with children?"
Well ya' know.. I really don't want to eat kid's. I'm sure that they taste even worse than sousage.. I know, that was a pretty lame joke -.-''
Well right now I'm watching a program called "Parlamentet" on youtube, I really recommend it to all those who likes to laugh their ass of. Though they are in swedish, but there are subbed parts too. I myself perfer the parts with Björn Gustavsson and Johan Glans in, they're so funny!
Later on the evening I'm gonna watch "Hål i väggen" (more known as 'Human tetris') and "Stor i Japan" (big in Japan) from the tv. Unfortunately I'll miss Parlamentet today, because mum' wants to see the Finnish Idol's semifinals -.-
Well.. now I'm going to read some manga, and study for the maths test that was moved to monday, and the social studies "History, World war two" homework test. So C-ya!

Hey!

Hello, minnasan.
My internet has been out of function for three days, so i'm really glad that it's fixed now! Even though I don't really have anything to write about, I'm still gonna try find some weird toughts or happenings I can torture you with^.^

Dreams... We all have them, there are many different kind of dreams. Small dreams, big dreams. Some people want to be famous, some people want to get a loving companion and find a place to settle down. The dreams are important to a person, even if you don't always realise it. To crash somebodys dream is one of the most horrible things you can physically do to another.
When I was little, my dream was to become a singer.. I've always wanted to be a person who can physically bring joy to other persons, to make them laugh and to make them feel good about themself. That was my dream.
Nowdays I've got a bit more specific dream a bigger one. I've never wanted anything so bad as I want this. I want to be able to go to Japan as a exchange student, so I could have a insight of what the life really is like there, I want to be able to experience the holiday weekends, the school life and the people.
I want to know and experience everything about Japan! Hihi.. I sound like a Japan obsessed person.. Yeah.. Well I guess I kind of am. But still that's the far most biggest and strongest dream that I've ever had.
Have you got one? If you have, then what are you doing to acieve it? Think about it. If you try as hard as you can, then I'm sure that you eventually will reach you're goal. I at least hope that (ehmm.. because I'm really trying hard)...
So think about it!

Right now I'm sitting and watching my lil'sis play. She seems really kind, when she doesn't open her mouth. She's a pure devil, hidden inside of a angels cloat. I really dislike children. Yes.. I don't like them just because they're children. My friend has tried to explain to me hundreds of times, that I can't hate children, just because they're children.. But even if you'd put it that way.. I still can't stop dissaproving them. They cry, they're stupid and they're just annoying.. I really hope that I'll mature enough someday to be able to like children.

Mew..This blog writing really is good therapy. Even if it makes me seem wery dark minded, and brings out my bad sides, It really lightens up my mind. Wich is kind of weird.. I'm just writing down my toughts.. Yeah..
Anyhow.. I hope you'll be able to reach up to you're dreams! Work hard!
Tomorrow I've got a maths test so I gotta go study now!
Bye-bye!!

Tired. Tired. Tired...tired...

Hi!
As you can read in the title i'm wery tired right now. But i'm still kind'a happy.. Strange..
My day was a bit different than usually. I got the results from the diagnostic test I did on friday, to be honest, they were much better than I had expected.. With thought of what horrible pain I was in when I did it (stomach ache) . On a range from 1 to 10, it propably was a 8 (when it gets to a 9, I start to vomit ^-^). So there's not so much I have to practise in front of the maths test on Friday. I found this book about William Shakespeare's life story, and citates (or what you call them), it's really interesting. These ones is my favorites so far:
Go with me like good angels to my end; And as the divorce steel falls on me Make of your prayers one sweet sacrifice, And lift my soul to heaven.
And:
Shipwreck'd upon a kingdom, where no pity, No friends, no hope; no kindred weep for me; Almost no grave allow'd me. Like the lily, That once was mistress of the field, and flourish'd, I'll hang my head and perish.
Aren't they pretty.?
Hehe.. When I found this book and readed these two "citates" to a friend, she cried out loud: ''Your' not that depressed!''. She told me that she had readed my blog and tought that I gave out a way too depressed picture of myself, I was like.. Woot? You really think so? I mean i'm not depressed at all.. I guess that i'm just a bit too tired ^-^ wich makes me to write a bit dark things... funny...
So.. I visited the physiotherapist today, she did all these weird things with my arms, legs and back. She didn't know what's wrong with my spine, so she told me to come back after two weeks, Monday 20/10 -.-'' I'll really die, if it continues like this..
Tomorrow we have P.E... I so love that class.. Can you feel the irony in my words. However.. I don't have the energy to write anything else right now.. Man I really sound depressed! XP
G-night!

Good evening.

As you can read in the title, I just wanted to say "Good evening" to everybody who is reading this blog post. I've been all worn out this weekend. Yesterday I was on a birthday party, wich was arranged by my two wery good friends, L-kun and Madde-chan. They're twins so naturally they're born on the same day. It was loads of fun, but unfortunatelly I had to leave early because of the baptism, wich was fun too. But it was just much more formal than the party.
I haven't got the streinght to write much right now, I just feel so sleepy. Even if i've slept trough the whole day, I just can't find the right words to express my feelings and toughts right now. I even can't spell the words right -.-'' So I think that i'll try writing tomorrow again. If I have some left ower time after the back rehab check, and karate training-pass.
Good night! Sleep tight! (I doubt I will..).

*-*

Hello everybody!

To begin with, I want to apoligise about the long break between my latest blog posts.

The internet has been out of operation for a few days so I haven't been able to write anything.

So to continue where my last post ended. My visit at the hair dressers place went pretty well.

My new hair style isn't that much different from the one before, because I just had my hair done a bit shorter and I didn't dye it. Though I got three hair extension locks, two of them are light green, and one is the same colour as my own hair, blonde with a slight touch of orange (okay, it's not my real hair colour.. It's dyed), but anyway.. My hair looks much longer now.. funny isn't it?

That was my monday.

Yesterday I had my first karate training session, for this [school] term. It was so much fun!

Even tough my body aches from all the excessive exercise, I still love it all! The spasms that some times grips my arms, the hurt of the training, the feeling that I've been striking too fast for too long. I love it all.

I guess that i've found my "physical" passion.^-^

I was thinking about commence at ju-jutsu but then my brother (who practises the art) told me about their training sessions, and I kind of changed my mind in a instant, I mean, there's no way that my body would be able to handle two extreme training sessions after each other (the ju-jutsu session ends two hours before the karate begins).

So I guess that i'll just have to stick with the karate alone... Or maybe I should start practising something like.. Some sport that I would be able to "develope" my body musculature in. Maybe athletic or something like that. Well anyways.

Today i've felt surprisingly happy. Last night I stayed ower at my brothers place, so I had to walk to school this morning (it takes about thirty minutes), and I just couldn't stop smiling...

I really don't know why... I guess that it's because my life has been going on a bit better than before, it doesn't feel as heavy to live anymore^^ Yesterday when I took the bus into town, the bus driver only charged two thirds of the real price (yes he did that on purpose) and it just made me so happy. To know that I wasn't the only one who really tries to be nice to other people, lightened my chest a bit. Because sometimes it just feels like that. Like I would be the only one who tries to make up other peoples days so that they don't need to feel as miserable as I some times do. I know that that's not true.. but anyways...

I was finally able to go shopping with my mom' alone, no little sister whining and making her angry. Just me and mom', it really felt good, it has been a long time since we last did that.

We got the precents for the baby i'm gounna be Godmother to... I really look forward to Saturday, 'cose that's when the baby is going to get her name :) And of course, that's Malin and Madelene's birthday! They just invited me to a party.. or something like that^.^

I've just finished my maths' home work (a piece of cake).

Tomorrow i'll go and try find some new pair of jeans to wear at the baptism.. That's not gounna be easy.. How could I say, my tighs isn't that thin, so it's hard to find trousers that dosn't make my ass look like a barn-wall.. -.-''

Well thank's for reading my blog post today! Hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to write a bit moor tomorrow. Good-bye! Sleep tight!

-^.^-

Good morning!
I woke up an hour ago, and i'm wery exited about todays hairdresser appointment.
I was thinking about cutting my hair just a little bit shorter, because i'm gonna let it grow so I can plait it. Damn I gotta go. I'll continue with the post later on to the evening. Bye bye!

Back home!

Hello! My dear blog post reading friends! I'm home again.
I've been on a political education camp the entire weekend. It was wery instructive, interesting and the most important part, it was so much fun!
So now i'm gonna tell you about the camp.
At the first day we arrived to a hotel called Scandic. We got our room numbers, and then it begin. The hectic room changing. Me and my friend had gotten split up in two different rooms, so we did our best to get the key card I needed to her room. I changed rooms with two persons, and then finally I got the bed place. My friend and I (her name is Lisa-chan)... So Lisa-chan and I shared our room with a girl called Åsa-chan, she's really nice.
After we had unpacked our things into the rooms, we had our first meeting. They wished us welcome to the *Funkis education camp. Then we had our dinner. After the dinner the meetings went on to 9 pm, and then we were free to do anything we wanted (or at least allmost anything).
The next morning Åsa-chan, Lisa-chan and I woke up 7.30. The bed I slept in was SOO SOFT so it really was hard to get up from it. It happened so much on Saturday so I don't remember everything. But I remember that I got many new friends, for example.. David he sat next to me during the meetings, so I learned to know him pretty fast. He had practically much the same interst's as I have (manga, anime, and so on..). And then there was this Erik named boy, he was really lively, one of the youngest ones in the whole group of about 25-people. They were the ones that I learned to know the best.
One thing was a bit creepy, David's big brother was on the camp too. He lives like 200km from where I live, and he knows my brother... It may not sound so special when you read this, but believe me it sure feels weird.
On the evening we got free again so Lisa-chan and I went to our room to watch some tv. There were many good channels^^, ... And suddenly there started to come people into our room, first Erik, then Vicktor (I'm so sorry I dunno how to spell it), then Simon-chan. In the end there was like ten persons in this narrow little three bed's room.
One of the guys, ermm... like.. I think his name was Alex, told us about their little prank plan... (Alex was the master mind behind everything).
And made us promise not to tell anything to anyone^^
Later on the evening.. Or should I say night, when two guys were already asleep. Alex and his friends sneaked into the guys room (of couse with a stolen key card), then they pulled up the guys blankets and poured these jug's full of ice-pieces onto their bodies. At the same time I, David, Lisa-chan, Åsa-chan and Simon-chan, were sitting in a hall like thing, where you could see all the room doors. We were all waiting quietly at their reaction, when suddenly somebody started to scream, and Alex & his company bolted past the place we were sitting at. Just a few seconds after that the two guys came running, furious and screaming, all wet and just in their underwear (one of them acctually had a blanket over him). They were crying out; *'How did they get in to our room!?.'* We were all laughing our asses off. Pretending like we didn't know anything about the prank. So when the guys started to search for the teasers (still just in their underwear) I could'nt help but to feel a bit like a criminals assistant my self, even if I did'nt do anything. ^.^
When everybody came back, from where they'd been hiding we sneaked past the pissed guys room door into the "manly" fellows room, where we tried to come up with something to do, to keep us from falling asleep. Anyways we failed with that. Åsa-chan and I was lying on David's bed. Lisa-chan was sitting on a bed besides of Simon-chan and Viktor (spelling?..). Erik was lying on his own bed. And poor David was sitting on a chair. Åsa-chan fell asleep first, I was dozing off, and everyone else was goofing around, talking about weird things. In the end we all fell asleep around 5am. And suprise, suprise, we had to get up 7.30 so we had like 2h30min sleep -.-''
When I woke up my eyes was all red and itchy..
We ate our breakfast, packed our things and checked out of the hotel.
And got on our bus, home.
We arrived to our home town 13.10, after a 2h long bus trip. After a fifteen minutes car ride I got home. And here I am after a exhausting day, writing in my blog.
Well I hope you enjoyed reading my blog post today! Cya!

Hi...

It has been a exhausting day, today.
Lately i've been dozing off, and feeling really down.. It's like, i'm lost inside of my thoughts.. like I don't have any streight left to continue with the life, it's just so hard to always have to push forvards, to never get a break.. But you got'ta do what you got'ta do.. And if I wish to fulfil my dreams I just have to keep on going. Work my ass off ^.^

I was in the city with my friend today, we were eating at a place caller 'Frasses' (its an ordinary hamburger-bar).
And everything began to go wrong, when I was standing besides the table, my phone started to ring so I tried to get it out of my jacket pocket, and while I was doing that my arm accidentally hit the cup of lemonade, it fell over and all of the lemonade spread on the floor.. And when I bent down (talking in the phone), in order to clean up the mess, I had caused. My money fell out of my pocket right in to the lemonade-.-'' Talking about bad luck!
After that me and my friend went to a grocery store near the hamburger-bar to buy something to eat for the bus trip on Friday (we're going to this political camp, it's a educating thing).
And last, we got on our bus home.
By the way, I want to apoligize about the spelling mistakes in the previous blog posts, I was scrolling down my old blog posts and notised that I had made damn many of them.
Now I have to go, so cya!

Home-work.. -.-

Hello people!

Today I don't really feel like writing much, so i'm gonna keep this short.
I made the huge effort to wake up this morning, just in time, so I would'nt miss the school buss.
I have this really nasty morning temper, so all I do is like walk around in the kitchen and make faces like this ----> ^-^ towards other people... Yes, you could think that it's not a bad thing, maybe even that it's really nice, but when the room is filled with people who acctually really have a real bad morning temperament, it turns out to be annoying, so it has the opposite influence on them.

My school day was pretty Ok.. When the "day" was over, got this huge pile of homework with us, so now I just have to write an essay about my opinions towards plastic surgery, in english. In mathematics i'm just finishing the ''hell's' chapter, or that's what I like to call it.
We have; chemistry, history, mathematics and english -tests coming up soon.
So I doubt that i'll have any free time left to be with my friends on, at the coming weeks-.-''
Anyways. This was my "keep it short" blog post.
Tank's for reading it. Bye, bye!

Ohayoogozaimasu!

Good morning, minnasan.
I really don't know why. But all of a sudden I had a urgent feeling that I have to write in my blog.
I just woke up, so my mind is swaying some where in the outer spaces.
I really don't have anything to write about...
Oh.. yeah!
I had this really weird dream. It was about this guy that is in the same class as me, he's pretty stupid. And I don't find him attracting in any way.. Yeah, so we were at a camp, I think. And all of a sudden the door to the room we were standing in got locked, so we did'nt get out. Then this stupid guy turns his face in my direction, I can tell he has something going on in his *moyashi brains, he starts walking towards me. Then suddenly his face gets pale like a blanket, and he is staring at a spot behind me. So I turn around, and there is this weird looking character behind me. After a while I see that it's a human, a guy.. when he comes closer his face "shines" up, and it's Gackt I was looking at. The moron guy from my class goes up in these flame like things, and dissapears. Then I wake up... The first thing I thought of was, Goddamid i've been listening to much to Gackt's music.
So I guess that it would be better for me to cut down the Gackt music part a bit. And start to listening at Dir en grey a bit more.
But now i'm going to grab something to eat.
Sayonara.

Inspiration from internet

Hello people.
I got inspired from an other blog i'm reading now.
This thought suddenly hit me, 'If I write everything in english, every one will be capable to read about my toughts and opinions'.
No matter how much my english spelling sucks, i'm sure that you'll be able to understand at least a bit of the text.
So, the blog i'm reading is written by a american girl, originally born in China, who has studied about a year in Japan.
Her thoughts and opinions are wery smart, and very intresting.
As for me who is going to study in Japan for a whole year, the imformation is wery good, and partly important.
The more I read about other people who've studied in Japan, the sooner I want to get there.
But two more years.. Then if I get accepted, i'll be able to go there^.^
Anyway..
At the moment i'm listening at Gackt. A new discovery by me (as I wrote in the earlier blog post). He's really charming, and quite cute :P
I've been talking with a friend of mine on msn for the last three hours, I really miss her.
She moved to a other part of sweden, in the beginning of the summer vacation.
I've been a bit lonley after that : /
We had this wery long nostalgic convesation, about a day when we sat on the school yard and ate pockey's, we were both wery depressed, it was the last day I was able to spend with her :( I haven't seen her ever since...
Yeah..yeah..
However..
She seems to be fine with her new life, tough she misses the life here, in the north part of Sweden.
But i've gotta go now, and let my pa' come to the computer. c-ya later!
By the way, the song name Redemption was spelled right. G-night.

Hej och hå!

Förlåt för uppbehållet i bloggandet, men de fem sista dagarna har bara varit så extremt tråkiga, att jag inte orkat troka ut er med imformation om dem.

Idag har jag bara i stort sett chillat.

Suttit vid datorn, sökt efter imformation om det japanska skol livet och gjort lite engelska uppgifter.

Alltså inget speciellt.

Det enda intressanta som hänt under veckan är nog, att jag blivit erbjuden om positionen som gudmor till min några veckor gamla kusin.

Även om jag nu inte är den största småbarns fan'et i världen, så tycker jag det var en ganska stor 'hedring' så jag tackade, Ja.

Nu gäller det bara att hitta en fin liten present till henne och kanske ett kort med text som säger typ: Grattis till någonting -.- Jag vet ju inte ens vad såna barn kallas för...

Jag vet inte heller vad en gudmor ska göra..

Det är väl typ, ta hand om barnets religiösa uppfostring, eller något sånt?

Passar perfekt för mig som är, jaa, man skulle väl kunna säga, en ateist.

Även om jag nu råkat ta komfirmationen..

Anything for the money, you know.

Jag har haft konstiga ryckningar i högra handens pek-finger muskel i några dagar nu...

Hehe.. Gud vad konstigt det känns att se sitt finger röra på sig utan att behöva göra någonting XP

By the way.

I torsdags, upptäckte jag ett nytt jätte bra band, eller kanske jag vorde säga, en ny jätte bra artist.

Jag surfade runt på youtube som vanligt, i hopp om att hitta någonting värt att titta på,

så upptäckte jag den här linken vid sidan om ett av Gazette's musikvideon.

Det stod bara 'Vanilla' på den så jag tänkte, äh 'what the heck, lets give it a try'.

Så jag klickade på linken och pausade ''filmen'' så att den hann ladda klart (jag vet, min dator är extremt seg). Under tiden den laddade undersökte jag sidan lite.

Det fanns inga kommentarer och inga *ratings på låten, så jag tänkte:

jaha det är säkert en 'nobody'.

Så när jag klickade på start knappen och började se på videon, vilket i det här fallet var en PV.

Tänkte jag bara - damn! vilken charmig 'nobody'! och het var han också.

Efter att jag sett musikvideon typ två gånger, tänkte jag att det vorde kul att veta vem han var som sjöng.

Men efter som att det fanns varken namn eller kommentar, klickade jag vidare på en av "länkarna" vid kanten av sidan som det också stod 'vanilla' på och Suprise, Suprise!

Det var Gackt jag glodde på.

En av japans mest populära artister.

Jag hade aldrigt tidigare, riktigt brytt mig om honom och hans blåa kontakt linsser.

Hade alltid tänkt honom som en 'lady killer'.

Så jag hade aldrig kunnat tänka mig att han var så bra på att sjunga.

Ja.. fördomar.. Fördomar, det är vad som bygger upp sammhället nu för tiden.

Hur som helst. Har jag hittat en ny favorit låt som heter Redemption.. tror jag, orkar inte börja titta upp det nu, kanske senare sen.

Jaaa...

Det var händelserna för denhär veckan.

Kanske jag kommer och skriver någonting senare på kvällen..

Men nu ska jag gå och proppa i mig någonting.

Tack för att ni orkade läsa mitt blogg-inlägg!

Hejsvejs!

Min dag..

Tjoo!

Igen.. Jag tror inte blogginlägget jag skrev igår sparades :/
Hur som helst.

Karate träningen var inställd igår, så jag har gått runt och varit nere hela dagen.

Min dag började med en sovmorgon, på 20 hela minuter...

Jag sov över hos brorsan i natt, så jag fick gå till skolan på morgonen, What a pain...

Det är typ 2,5 kilometer dit.

Men en liten promenad på morgonen skadar väl inte ^.^

Första lektionen, engelska läxförhör.

Andra matte, tredje språkval och till sist men inte minst, gympa...

Jaa.. Gympan, det är en riktig plåga, att springa 5 varv runt 2 fotbollsplan och spela rugby, när det bara är 8 grader varmt..

Wery refreshing..

Under språkval lektionen frågade en vänn till mig, hur det går med mina japanska språk studier och eftersom att jag inte läst nästan alls på språket under sommarlovet,

insåg jag hur lat jag varit på sistondet.

Så jag har rå-pluggat hela eftermiddagen. ^^

Visiten hos skoldoktorn, under andra halvan av engelska lektionen, gick inte så bra.

Enligt honom lider jag av någon slags rygg skada, typ.. en kota som rör på sig, eller nått sånt.

Så han vill att jag ska sluta med karaten.

Yeah right -.-

In you're dreams, sweet heart.

När jag äntligen hittat en orsak att leva, så tänker jag inte kasta bort den orsaken bara på grund av en liten rygg skada.

Jaja.

Han sa att jag skulle få gå på en visit hos sjuk gymnasten, för att få ett tränings schema.

But guess what, or should I say when..

Min tid, är först den 3 oktober.

Jag kommer hinna bli en puckel rygg till dess ^^
Okej.. kanske inte riktigt.

Det blir chili-kon karne till mat idag (har ingen aning hur det stavas).

Inte riktigt min favorit maträtt.

Så jag måste hitta på en bra ursäkt att undvika middagen...

Ska nog gå och pråppa mig mätt med mackor nu... Så slipper jag maten ^-^

Hejsvejs!