Evening'!

Sorry for the sudden end in my last post... While I still was writing I saw the teacher arrive, so I had to close everything down... Now about the thing I was gonna write about in school (after the snow thing). I've been freaking pissed off at a girl in our class, (and ya' know it takes hell of a lot to get me angry), because last night I read one of her latest blog posts´... I thought of her as a nice person that I spent time whith, but you can never guess what she'd written in there. Something about my friends (I included) always being so mean to her and that she wanted to strangle every single one of us, that she'd feel really good after doing it, and so on. I have never ever done anything that she could be angry about. I mean.. grow up and get help-.- No normal people writes that kind of shit in their blog. At least not if it's your friends you're talking about. If that's the way she feels about hanging around with us, then why not just stop doing it? If you don't apperciate your friends, then you don't deserve any. That's what I think. Yeah... this maybe gives out the expression that I'm a evil bitch that dosn't care for anybody, thats wrong. I always put my friends needs on the first place, after that I can start considering about myself. That propably is one of the main reasons why I've been so angry... or should I say dissapointed? I would never do anything wrong against her on purpose, and still she wrote bad things about me without a reason, and it hurt real bad.
So.. now you've seen how I act when I'm upset..Lets hope this was the last time^-^! By the way, my grandma' left today... it feels kind of lonly here again :/ No more playing home... Bye.

White sorrow..

The ground is covered in a thick beautiful layer of snow. The shimmering whiteness of the earth is so nice. It has been very cold the last week... I love it -^.^-
By the way. Right now I'm sitting in school, waiting for the class to begin.. Oh shit gotta' go now C-ya

Find true love..?

This is the third day my grandma's spending here... Somehow when she's around this place feels more like... a home?... weird...
I'm sitting in my room, chewing on a cookie and listening at all the damn annoying screaming of our guests' children (there is seven.. or eight.. of them... I think.. -.-'')... This is some kind of cruel torture for me.. Why God! Why!.. Nah just kidding.. It's acctually kind of nice to have people around at our place, so that mum' won't pay too much attention to what I'm doing, othervise she'd just be breathing down on my neck and komplaining of everything I do, or don't do...
Lately the sleepless nights has started to increase. Like yesterday I couldn't sleep before 2.30 am... Luckily almost every single one of our classes where canselled, or switched to textile craft, so I didn't have any problems staying awake... Or should I say.. I didn't have problems with people who'd notised when I was sleeping^-^ hihi...
One of my friends (lets call her... Chan) has really fallen in love with a guy, who acctually is my best childhood friend.. yeah.. okay.. he's my only childhood friend... (What can I say.. I wasn't so popular among the other children, especially the girls). Anyways... When she was talking about him you could hear that she really has found someone she likes, and the best of it, he's a pretty decent guy who hopely won't brake her heart because of some stupid thing...
Damn.. now mom's at it again... even though we have guests she still came up to the second floor just to see that I wasn't doing anything teenagers would consider as fun.. like listening too loud to music or watching tv... Don't get me wrong, my mum' usually isn't or.. wasn't like that, but she's started to become more and more tense. One morning when she woke up she came down-stairs and asked me about something... I don't really remember what it was, but it surely was something I wasn't happy to hear, so when I answered to her with a normal pitch, but a bit angry tone, she suddenly started to yell at me.. and the thing she yelled was "Why are you yelling at me!? I just asked you a question!". Ever since that I've been trying to avoid her... Which isn't so easy, because we're only three persons (dad isn't home so often, otherwise he'd be the fourth one) in our house. And now she's calling out my name... Well gotta' go.. She propably wants me to take out the garbage or something like that... C-Ya!

Hello life!

Right now my grandmother is at our place, cleaning with all her might-.-'' She's a really nice person... But sometimes she just goes over board with things...
Wonder how it is to grow old.. I mean.. Will it be easier to live and find your own pace to walk at? Or will it carry on like this forever, allways have to be running on the others sides trying not to be left behind?.. I wonder... Will I look uglyer than I already do? tihihi.. I really hope I won't!
YAAY! I got two comments on my last post.. I haven't been abandoned! *happy*. THANK YOU!
This day was pretty nice. We only had three lessons´: society knowledge, maths and English. And on top of that, we learnt that tomorrows maths exams has been canselled! Yatta!! Can my life turn out to better than it already is!? Actually.. It can. We also got about 20-pages and 40-questions from the society-knowledge, to memorize until Fridays' tests... I hate our SK teacher.. He's souch an annoying old man... He can't even correct an essay right >:/ almost everyone in our class got a ¨mis-¨ on a question that he didn't know the right answer to... It's The Great Basines and not Mississippi riwer!.. Ehmm... Yeah.. Forget about that ^-^'' ..
Tomorrow some people from a Finnish upper secondary school, will come and inform us about the school possibilitys there.. Maybe, if I don't get into IB I'll go to a "Lukio" (that's what they call them in Finland)... Damn... The topic came up again -.- I tried so hard to avoid it!
So.. Now Imma' go 'n eat some horrible tasting chicken food that mum' has made.. Itadakimasu! and sayonara minnasan!

Future... Questions.. Hard work..

I've finally found the perfect policy for me. It's the IB - International Baccalaureate line. A policy where all your studies are in English. And you get to choose your subjects! That means that I can skip physics and chemistry, and take biology instead of them! I really hope that I get into this policy, I mean it's like handmade for me..
Wonder which lines´ my friends are gonna commence in..? I have no clue about their intentions. They've all been so messed up in their thoughts, just like me, cause of the sudden urge to make a decicion about our future.. okay.. maybe it isn't so sudden, but it sure is hard. Allmost everyone of my friends are gonna move away to another municipality, that's one thing I'm sure of.
It's kind of sad, when you think about it.. We have shared our joys and sorrows together for the past six years, and now everyone's just gonna get split up... I'm gonna miss them... Well life sucks. So... I just have to keep up with the hard work so that I'll stand a chance in the admission examinations for the programme...
This is all I can come up with for this time.. I know it's a bit boring, but I'm not really in a mood of writing funny things right now... Bye.

No title.

Lately I've started to feel that I'm writing this blog for the readers- and not for my own benefit.. Which isn't really right.. Originally I thought of this as a way to write about my opinions, releas some surpressed anger and thoughts that weren't permisseble in this society.. But now it's ended up with me writing lame, boring reports of my daily life to others.. Maybe a change would be good here..?

Manga, Japan, Anime = LOVE ^-^'

Hi! Everybody. I don't know why, but for some reason I feel very depressed... Even though the manga event yesterday, was great.. I just can't smile and be happy... It's propably because no one has left any comments on my latest posts'.. I'm so lonely :´/ hehe... okay.. that's presumably not the real reason... I guess I've just had a bad day.. Like anyone else..
*Trying to think of something to write about..
Ah! I've forgot to tell you. Last Monday, I decided on becoming a vegetarian. This propably sounds a bit strange.. I didn't do it because I'd wanted to protest against something.. I just want to lear understanding different kinds of people. So I haven't ate any red meat in about a week now, and acctually I've felt much better than I did before.. okashii.. I guess my body just prefers' beans better than meat..^-^ This day has been all about Death Note. I've almost finished the anime now. And I also watched the Death Note Movie 1. To be honest, I don't really think the persones that play the parts of Light and Ryuzaki fit the roles at all. And almost the whole story was changed. So the movie was a big dissappointment to me.
When I was at the manga event, there was a group of girls in my age that were dressed in all sort of unusual clothes.. Few of them was cosplaying (one as L-kun, she acctually was the winner of the cosplay competition, and one as Reita, from The GazettE), I got a little feeling of lonliness when I watched them laugh and talk about all sort of things.. Even though I have great friends, I wish that I had friends like that too, so that I wouldn't be the only one that dresses like a "weirdo" and stands out of the group. It would be so nice to have somebody to talk to, somebody who acctually wanted to hear about my opinions and interests, someone who wouldn't feel forced or bored to hear me talk about japanese stuff ^~^'' Really don't get me wrong, I have superb friends.. It's just that they're not interested in the same sort of things as I am. Well now I'm off to dwell in my desolation XP Oyasuminasai minnasan.

Good morning.

Right now I'm chewing on a apple... Even though the apple seasone has already ended, this one acctually tastes good. The peel is screaming in red and yellow colours like it's trying to warn people not touch it. The more I think of it, the more it starts to resemble a human being.. Even though we put up a screen, weather it's flashy or scary it's to keep other people away, so that they won't come too close. We make others think that we are non-wounerable. But acctually the shell is soft, and the inside even softer... So don't judge a apple by it's peel, instead try tasting it, and see if the flavour strikes' your fancy^-^

Samui..

(Yesterday) When I woke up. As usually I looked out of the window besides my bed.. Or acctually madrass (I sleep on the floor), I bet my face looked like this O.O , because the ground was all covered in a 5 to 10 cm thick layer of snow, and it hasn't melted yet! You should've seen Lisa-chan! When I got into the school bus. She was like : Snow, snow, snow SNOW! I Love SNOW! Sooo White, SOO cold, SoO nice.. I LOVE SNOOOW! She said this all with a mad expression on her face ^-^'' . And to be honest it was a bit creepy x.x
The feminist meeting went pretty well, considering of the problems we had before it^¤^ (Long story). In the end, we only were three persones, but we had a great time. We ordered pizza, watched a movie and generally enjoy'd our time :)
Have you ever wondered if there is souch a thing as a parallel world? Maybe.. a place where no one needs to suffer from hunger nor cold.. A world without any discrimination against different people... A place where I can just be... me..? This is the thoughts I got after I'd started to read a manga named Amatsuki, I really like it. It's a story about a boy who fails his history in first year, so he's forced to go to a edo-age created town, that is inside of a huge box formed thing. It's acctually a really high-tec place, but through these google like things it all seems like the real thing. After spending a really short amount of time there he's suddenly attacked by a monster, wich ends up with him dissapearing in the real Edo-period. It's really interesting. You should try read it!
This day was cold.. Soo cold.. Otherwise it was a plain, normal, boring day.. So I'm gonna' go 'n prepare for tomorrows SARJIS MANGA EVENT! Sleep well!

Sicko day nr 2.

Moshi, Moshi, Minnasan!
Today was my last germ day ^-^ I've been cured! By my own immune system.. When I get ill the sickness often only holds on for a few- one to three days.. If it keeps on longer, it's something more serious^^
Tomorrow I'll finally be able to go to school. Even though I've only been home for two days, it feels like a eternity. There's so much I've already missed! A chemistry test, Swedish assignments date, and much more! I'm not even allowed to go to practise today, so I'll miss things there too. I feel so lost :/ Tomorrow me and Lisa-chan are going to have a feministic meeting with other nice people. We're going to watch a movie, eat some sweets (I'm not going to, but the others. I'll explain later), and maybe we'll get some pizza, then we're going to discuss the movie. It'll be so much fun! (I hope). We have the whole 1000kr (sek) to spend! Hehe.. maybe we should go shopping instead >:3 Nah.. Just kidding.
The snow melted almost right after it came.. It's so sad.. We haven't had a proper winter in two years now, it's all because of the global warming :( People really should try do something about it.. So depressive, a winter without snow... it really sucks.
Yeah.. About the sweets thing, for those who don't know, I'm on a thing called Candy vow, It's a decided period of time which you're not allowed to eat any candy on, and in return for the "candy cellibate" you get a certain amount of money, which for me in this case is 1000kr (sek) for a year. I've only got about 1,5 months left. I think I've already told you all this once... Well a little repetition dosn't hurt. This is everything I've got in my mind for this time. C-YA!

I'm SO sorry!

As you can read in the title I'm SO SORRY! for the almost six days long break between my post's. So I'm gonna tell you in short about the days that I haven't posted anything in. Saturday: We went to our grand parents house to celebrate the (coming) fathers day. It was horrile, I really don't like my "plastic" grandmother, it seems like she still think's that I'm eight ears old. It kind of pisses me off ^-^'' We ate.. or I mean the others ate cake, when I sat and chew on a little biscuit (I couldn't eat the cake bacause of my lactose intolerance). It wasn't fun at all.. man I sound really pessimistic ^~^
Sunday: The real fathers day, we went to our other grand parents place (my mums' mum and dad). It takes about a hour to get there by car, but surprisingly it felt as if the ride only took a few minutes.. When we arrived, our grandparents came and whished us welcome, it really made me feel good to see them again after such a long time apart. We ate cake, talked and generally just spent time there. I really enjoyed it.
Monday: I felt really happy when I woke up. School started at 8.10 am, and the first lesson we had was in geography. Second class, I had a private lesson in music (piano) this is when my head started to get blank, I couldn't even read the damn notes! I just sat there and stared at the black dots on the paper.. When I got to the maths class I couldn't solve a freaking easy sum, so I only sat there and stared at the numbers. It was a lot of staring. I thought that everything was because I hadn't ate enough with breakfast.. So when I got to the dining room I tried to eat, but I just couldn't get the food down proprerly :/ On the English class we got our test results back, mine were pretty good. After that the school ended. I stayed in town because I had a appointment at the fysiotek, again. The woman there did exactly the same things she did on the three earlier appointments, and it didn't help a bit. My back still hurts :( Well, on the evening I had karate practise that was really fun, thats when I started to feel weak again, I got this really hot, burning feeling on my cheeks, but I kept on going until the practise ended. So when I got home I dragged myself to the couch and tried to see clearly, but I hardly could see anything, everything was blurry. When my mum checked on me I had a fever. She ordered me to go to bed and rest immediately. And that's when my monday ended.
Today I've been staying home the most of the day, but I had a development conversation with my teacher so I had to go there. After that me and mum' went to the grocery shop to get some food, and yeah.. here I am, writing on the computer, even though my head feels like it's about to explode... By the way I want to thank Lanko-chan about the comment on the last blog post, it made me really happy.. and kind of embarrassed^¤^'' ehehee... Well my head's a bit dizzy right now, so I think that I'll go to bed.. Good night!

Yuki!

Hi, minnasan!
Today when I woke up, the ground was white of snow! Even though it only was a thin coating of frost blend with snowflakes, it made me feel really good about the day^-^ Unfortunately I was to face with the fact that the good feeling would crach within a hour -.- The first lesson we had was in community-knowledge, and it was my, and two other persons', turn to present our works in the subject of "The Global Warming and its' effect on the enviroment". I was so damn close to vomiting as I stood in front of the whole school class and delivered the information, while trying to keep a hold of myself. Personally I didn't think that it went that good, but the teachers' were pleased with it so.. what can I say. To be honest, I don't think that our group will get more than a G, with a good chance maybe VG, so I'm very dissapointed of myself, I worked so hard, and failed.. well fuck that. ( our grades are divided into MVG-the best, VG-medium, G-good, IG-not good at all).
Tomorrow I have two examinations, one in music theory and the other in English. The English test is decisive for 50 procent of the Englis grades. And I can't seem get my thoughts together, so I'm stressed out right now :/ By the way, I forgot to tell you last time that I got a new ear piercing in Tammerfors, now I have five in my left ear and one in my right. You propably wonder why the number of them is so differently divided, well that's simply because it's much more easy to see my left ear in the mirror while sticking a needle through, and it hurts in my eyes when I try to look to the right for a longer period of time. And no I'm not a freak that enjoys the feeling of pain. It's just much more cheap that way, and as a matter of fact, it heals much faster than the ones made with a "hole gun" ( I think that's the name of the thing they use in the smithy shops). Weird, huh.?..
On Sunday it is the Father's day. I'm not really looking forwards to that day, because we'll propably be invited to our grandparents place, to eat some damn unhealthy food and spend time with our "plastic" grandma' who has a annoying supercilious way of acting. Besides, dad won't even be home on that day, so what's the point in celebrating it?. Well whatever.
I got'ta go and study now! Wish me luck! Bye bye, G-night Sleep tight!

HI! Yo! Hello! ^-^

To begin with, I want to apologize about the long break between my last blog post and this one.. I've been so busy with the homework and school that I haven't had any opportunities' to write :/ Lately my weight has increased, without going down again, it really bothers me. Especially when I think about my classmates who are skinny as hell.. But I guess there's nothing I can do about it.. Yesterday me and my mum' had a little talk about christmas presents. Sadly it ended up with me yelling at mum' and her yelling back-.-'' Usually I don't bawl at people, but I just got so pissed off when she told me that I wouldn't get anything else than a little amount of money on Christmas'eve'. Yeah.. money is always good.. but the reason why I got so angry was simply because it's wrong.. I mean.. What fun is it in just getting one single envelope, while watching the Santa deliver these large piles of presents to your siblings. Well I hope I at least get a CD or something..
This day has been pretty pleasant. I got a new nickname.. Wich wasn't that pleasant.. "Bög" hehe yeah it means (male) gay (in Sweden there is different names for female gays and male gays)... There isn't a real reason behind this name, I just got it when my dear friends where on a bit twisted mood. A girl we now call "kryck mongo" (.. It means, something like.. "crutch idiot".. no reason behind this name either) yeah, she was sitting on a chair and staring at me with this very serious expression, then she suddenly asked "are you gay?", I was like "Woot?", then she said "You're gay", I asked her "isn't it only guys who can be "gay"? After that, one of my other friends, now called "Skruttan" (meaning the womens sex organ, this name actually has a reason behind it.. maybe I'll tell you about it later) said "yeah it's true that only guys can be "gay", but you're a guy! I know it! You've been discovered! No reason to try hide it anymore!" this statement lead to my present nickname. According to my friends I'm a bit masculine in my way of being ( un-sensitive, not so "lively") and to the looks' (I often wear baggy trousers' and hoodies'), but it doesn't really bother me.
Me Longen and Sesshy had a long nice chat about "Upcon" the biggest of all manga happenings in Sweden, I've never had the chance to go and visit it myself (it's on the other side of Sweden) but I've heard lots of great stories from people who've been there. One of my good friends is acctually going there next year (in January).. I'm SOO jealous!! hihi.. So.. We were thinking about wich characters would be the most suitable for each one of us to cosplay as. We ended up with that Longen would be perfect as pucca, dosn't really remind her much. She's tall, blonde and has big green-brown eyes. But she wanted to dress her boyfriend out as Garu, so it was the best character for her^-^ Sesshy wanted to dress out like Shessomaru. And I still don't know who I'd like to cosplay as... maybe.. someone like Itachi.. or Presea.. man.. I really don't know..
By the way! When I was scrolling trough some of my older posts' I notised that I had gotten a new comment on the latest one. Read it! It really made me happy to find out that there acctually is someone who enjoys to read my blog! So big thank's for the comment!! ^~^ Well got'ta go now, I still have to prepare for tomorrows Enviroment lecture thing.. I really hope that I won't puke on my classmates while trying to educate them about the Global warming.. Or faint, it would be embarrasing... Bye-bye! Good night!